4/08/2010

here i go again

here i am again. its been quite awhile. not that i havent wanted to write, i guess i just lack motivation. funny how a simple dream i had can make me feel motivated to write again or blog or whatever else you want to call this. the dream was of my mother. well i wasnt really dreaming or anything but i laid down last night and its like i could hear her voice and she was telling me that i needed to write. so here i am...unknown as to what im going to say but im going to type anyways.

i havent exactly stuck with my plan for this year so far. do i ever though? i guess at least i know i want to better myself in alot of areas...its just getting there is the problem apparently. im confident ill get there someday. at least in the process ive found someone that makes me happy.

i have this thing where i feel like if i talk about me being in a relationship and how im happy that i end up jinxing myself in the end. so ive been somewhat quiet about my current girlfriend. wait, i havent wrote anything since january so yeah of course ive been quiet. lol. despite the situation, meaning a long distance relationship, i am happy. do i wish i could see her more? of course i do. do i wish we at least lived in the same state? well duh of course. im really patient with this though. i really truly believe i also found "the one". no no no no im not saying im getting married or anything...i dont want to freak people out, all im saying is that if things go to according how i see them then maybe yes someday. all i know right now is im really happy with her. she understands me. she doesnt push me to do stuff i dont want to do. she is happy with the person that i am. after 30 years its about time i found someone like that. she is coming here to see
me again in 2 weeks. i am definetly excited.

my 31st birthday is coming up shortly. i give thought daily to where i am at this point of time in my life and i have mixed feelings about it. instead of focusing on the negative im going to be positive about this one. i know im not a bad person, im a good hearted person. im quiet. im shy. i can be an asshole if i need to be but i really dont like to do that. so given what i just said forget bout stuff that im not doing or stuff i should be doing im still a good person regardless. good people are hard to come by now a days.

so yeah im back leading a guild on WoW again. how do i get suckered into this crap? for the most part it isnt really as stressful as it once was but some people lately have decided to trigger the stress button for me. i said to myself if i got stressed out again id be done with WoW. my counter to prevent this atm....stay away from WoW if it is stressing me out and find something else to do like writing!

is anyone else worried with all these earthquakes and stuff going on? i try not to think bout it. i mean if the world does end in 2012 then it ends, not much we can do about it. these earthquakes though are getting more and more frequent and stronger. in the past week just the USA had about 2300 earthquakes. that is ALOT! i been meaning to write a blog bout the whole 2012 thing and i probably still will.

not much else to say atm i think. hopefully ill "try" to be back more often.