Grocery store headache

Normally I don't mind going grocery shopping for my father, today however was one of those days that I wish I would of stayed in the house. Its ok though cause I am not really mad anymore, I just thought this would make for a good story.


Awhile it has been

I figure that I would pay a visit to my blog since its been awhile. Not that I haven't had a lot of content to talk about cause well I think everyone knows me better then that by now. I guess I felt like taking September off from writing and now since it is October I feel refreshed, reloaded, and wanting to write pointless nonsense for everyone out there in cyberspace. Wait, thats not entirely true. I don't write for anyone else except for myself, I just happen to share my stuff with everyone else.


Easing my troubled mind

On the eve of 9/11 I figured I'd write a blog. Maybe it will help ease my troubled mind? Maybe it will help me put aside any thoughts, fears, or worries that I may have. Maybe it won't. I know I can't be the only one in the world that might fear something could possibly happen tomorrow like it did 13 years ago. There is a lot of stuff going on in the world and it seems like it is all happening at once, like we are heading towards some disastrous ending. Has it always been like this? Maybe I just didn't start paying attention until recently. My time and attention wrapped up in other stuff such as video games or life in general? Maybe I need that distraction again to get my mind from wondering, thinking, and fearing the worst. Maybe I am just too paranoid for my own good. There, thats it. I am paranoid. Who isn't though a little paranoid from time to time? Now that I got all of that out of my system, lets focus on life.


Oh life

I've been wanting to write. Nothing to do with me being busy, just a lot of things to say. A lot of things going on too. I actually got rid of a blog to write this one. Excuse the randomness of the subjects in this blog, it has been awhile.


Fire in the sky

Sometimes my fire therapy nights are a bit interesting or entertaining. Three weeks ago that statement held true. It was a beautiful night here in Milwaukee. We had a good fire going. Everything was awesome. Little did we know that we were in for a surprise that night.


Broken window

I always have a story to tell people. I like playing the role of a storyteller. I have been told before by some people that some of my stories get boring hearing after awhile. My response to that? Fuck you, my stories are awesome. Since I am still here at home with my father, there are perfect opportunities almost daily for stuff to share with my loyal readers. I am surprised that I did not share this one. I'm going to have to backtrack to seven months ago to tell this story.


Oreos and milk

Oreos and milk are such a great combo. I was just downstairs eating some mint oreos and the mega stuff oreos. Dipped them repeatedly in milk. Was good! No I did not want to write a blog specially about me eating oreos with milk. I have other stuff on my mind, the oreos was something that I just did. Be jealous of me having oreos, however I'd share with people if you were here.


Punch in the Face

Monday is such a wonderful day of the week, doesn't everyone else feel like this? I'm being entirely sarcastic too. Although I don't have a job, something about Mondays I dread. Maybe it is the fact that most of the stuff that I actually do isn't until the weekend and when Monday starts I know I have to wait the entire week for any sort of fun. Maybe today I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, which is impossible cause I sleep on a couch. Either way, it was a Monday which meant misery for most people.


Fire therapy almost gone wrong

Even my fire therapy nights have the potential to go wrong.  A common phrase you hear is "If you play with fire, you're gonna get burned". This doesn't necessarily apply directly to playing with fire though but if you are not careful, it could be disastrous. Ok, I am being over dramatic. On Wednesday night I decided to have a spur of the moment fire therapy night that almost turned into a night of nothing happening.


Five dollar foot long

Hello again. It is a Tuesday night and I've had a little bit to drink. Totally sober though. In fact I've had this window open for the last two hours and did not write a damn thing. I got sidetracked tonight talking with people and posting random crap on facebook. I am thinking this blog is going to be totally random again. That is ok, right?


The Past Part 2

About four years ago I wrote a blog titled "the past". I wanted to write a blog as a continuation or I guess an update to what I had said in that blog. A comparison to how I was then to how I am now, and see if anything has changed. Even if people haven't noticed it, I know for a fact I have changed since that post. I will go over it in this blog, the past part 2.



Hello again my friends. I'm sitting here and I am thinking to myself that I want to write. I don't know what I want to write about so this blog is most likely going to be one big pile of shit. I mean sure I have a few specific subjects in mind but eh I just want to be random today.


Thanks for the Memories

The day after Motley Crue, despite the fact that I was already tired and sore from the previous night, we were going back to Summerfest to see the lineup of New Politics, Paramore, and Fall Out Boy. I'm not a huge fan of any of those bands but I heard enough of Fall Out Boy's music to justify to myself that I wanted to go to this show. I'm glad that I did, despite the after effects of the night before and me feeling like crap most of the night Saturday. Who would of thought eating a burrito and some lasagna would of been a bad idea before going down to Summerfest? Ok well I knew it was a bad idea but how could I pass up good food? Anyways, lets talk about the show.

Home Sweet Home

Going to a concert on July 4th has become a yearly tradition for my sister and I. Two years ago on July 4th we were treated to an amazing show by Iron Maiden. The following year we were treated to a concert by Rush, in which they played for nearly three hours. Years ago, 1996 to be exact, I went to see the Violent Femmes on the 4th of July. Well this 4th of July was Motley Crue with Alice Cooper opening up for them. This blog is about that night.


Light bulb

There is never really a dull moment with me and this next story is no exception. It is short and it may not even be funny to some, but this is what life is like with me. I find amusement in a lot of things that go on so of course this to me is amusing. Enjoy my story that I call light bulb.


My dad=Captain America?

There are three days that normally are very tough for me. One of them would be the anniversary of my mom's death, another one is Thanksgiving, and the final one is the anniversary of my sister's death. The anniversary of my sister's death is today. Although I've been ok, I have these things picking at me inside my head. It will pass in time I am sure.

Yesterday was a bit of an adventure day for me. I was going to go out shopping at Farm and Fleet and Target when I saw my cousin Jenny make a post on facebook about wanting to see the new Transformers movie. I was planning on going to see it soon anyways so I worked it out with her so we can meet up and see it together. We were going to meet around the halfway mark from where I live and where she lives. This means I got to leave the city of Milwaukee again. Yay! Had no problem finding it and meeting up with her. Let me just say that she is awesome. Wish we could hang out more. The movie was pretty decent. It probably could of been cut down by like thirty minutes or so but its ok. I enjoyed myself. Now I had no problems getting there but of course trying to get home I got confused a bit and ended up going straight when I was suppose to turn so I had to do some driving around to get back to the interstate. I made it home in one piece too. Hooray for small victories.

Big news I suppose. I decided that I am quitting WoW for now. Originally I was going to come back when the expansion hits, and I still might but because I am unsure of what I am going to do I decided to contact Blizzard today and I cancelled my expansion preorder. If I am having that many doubts about what I am going to be doing with the game then it made sense to cancel the preorder. At least I get my money back now. I am sure some of my WoW friends are not happy with me at the moment and they are disappointed. Truth be told, I am thinking about myself here. I don't think it is selfish at all. I need some me time. I deserve some me time without the influence of anybody around me. People should be able to understand that, right?

I went shoe shopping today. Oh come on Nick, that can't be interesting enough to write about it? Its not, well maybe. If there is one thing I am picky about it would be shoes. They need to be dark colors. I have such a hard time finding shoes because I've always worn a size 14 shoe, well for as long as I can remember at least. I try on some size 14 shoes and they suck. Not wide enough to fit on my big feet. I find a size 13 shoe that is wide and it fits just fine. Yay! So I have new shoes and it ended up being smaller then what I currently have.

I have to save the best for last with this blog. Recently I taught my father how to use the intercom system with our phones so I randomly get the phone buzzing for me to pick up. He buzzed me when he is going to take a shower the other day. Well today he buzzed for me and this is how the conversation went. He says to me that there is a problem with the meatloaf he is cooking. I say ok and he replies back with he has no directions so he doesn't know what he is doing. I'm like ok haven't you made meatloaf a million times before and he is like I use directions off the onion soup mix box and they have none and I looked online, they call for stuff that we do not have. I'm like ok I will be right down. I go downstairs and look at the box, no directions. It is meatloaf, how complicated can this be without directions. He was like I have no idea how much water or bread crumbs to put in and I said and you've done this how many times and you remember nothing. I look at the package and follow the directions that you would use for making onion soup mix burgers. I tell him what to do and he begins cooking. I never knew meatloaf was that complicated to make. I believe I only made one meatloaf in my life and that was when I was living in North Carolina with my ex-wife. She told me to shape the meatloaf into what ever I wanted to. I decided to make it shaped like a penis. I believe she just gave me a look like really and I may of replied with it is just for the two of us, no one else will be eating my penis. If I didn't reply with that, maybe I should of.

One last thing before I end this blog. My father I think wants to be Captain America. Can't say I don't blame him, the Captain is a bad ass. We are at Target and he picks out a pair of pants to buy. Later on he decides to look at them and try them on. This is when he gets my attention about it because on the pants leg it says Captain America. He was like I thought these were a normal pair of pants to which I responded with well I guess not. Are you trying to be Captain America now? Then he pulls off the Marvel tag from the pants. It was clearly pants intended for Marvel fans and Captain America fans but as he was looking at them he did not see this. I just kinda smiled at the entire thing, walked into the living room and I started to laugh. Never a dull moment in this house with him.


Bye June!

The month of June is coming to an end and this month has been an up and down roller coaster ride. Breakdowns, disappointments, stress, adventures, laughs, etc. While it might be easy to focus on the negative and write an entire blog about all the shit that has went on, I am not going to do that. One thing that changed for me a few years back is I became more of a positive person. When life kicked me down, I got right back up and found the good in most things. I drifted away from that recently and I am working to restore it. Nothing about this piece of writing should be negative, I think.

Saturday, I had another adventure and it was right here in the city of Milwaukee. I've lived here most of my life but that doesn't mean I know where everything is. Especially since I haven't been driving all too long. My niece recently moved into her own apartment building and she was having a housewarming/college graduation party. My sister and I decided to venture out to find this apartment. First off the area where she lives is under major construction. I of course drove right past the road we were suppose to turn down. Had to find some place to turn the car around and go down the right street. We pull into the apartment complex and we were unsure of where the clubhouse was. There was a residence center right upon entering but we didn't know if that was it or not. We drove around looking for this clubhouse. Came across a dead end and then a road that turns into the main road that we used to get in the place. Finally after driving around for at least 10 minutes or so I saw my sister in law and my niece. Apparently we were at the right place all along, the clubhouse was the residence center. The party itself was fun. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile, I totally needed that. Getting out of there was another adventure. There was a no right turn coming out of there but I was convinced that there was a road going through so I turned right anyways. Yep, bad idea. I was met with a bunch of dead ends and ended up having to go back to the original road anyways. At one point my sister and I were just laughing about it and I'm like I can't drive and laugh like this! We made it out of there though in one piece.

Coming up this summer is a few more adventures for us. I'm not sure when we are going to do all of this, but we are planning on going to the Milwaukee zoo one of these weekends. Also I want to be brave and drive down to Chicago to find the Brookfield zoo. I haven't been to that zoo since I was a teenager. Also we talked about going to the Renaissance Fair, another thing I haven't done in ages. My father is talking bout going away to northern Wisconsin, Hayward area to be exact, and he wants to go away for possibly a week. That could be interesting.

This week is concert week for me. On Friday, which is July 4th, I am going to see Motley Crue. On Saturday I am going to be seeing Fall Out Boy. On Sunday I am going to do absolutely nothing cause two nights in a row of big shows is going to wipe me out. Not only is it concert weekend for me but I probably will be staying by my sister's house for the entire weekend. May as well get out and have some fun. Celebrate life maybe?

Changes are in the works. I never usually reveal my plans and I am going to stay that way. In the past few months I've gotten away from who I am. I went on vacation by myself and asked myself "who is Nick?". Two weeks later and I am still asking myself this question. People have been telling me recently that I've changed and they don't know who I am anymore. While I agree that change is good but in the process of change never forget the people that were always there for you, and I think I started to do that. Another friend of mine told me that at least I recognized the change cause now I can start to work on getting back to myself basically and I will get back to being The Nick.


An Adventure

This past week I set out to do something that I hadn't done before. I've barely had my driver's license for 2 years but I've never been on a road trip. I've only been out and about around the city of Milwaukee. Knowing that I needed a little getaway just to think and I am sure my dad wanted the house to himself for a change, I set off on a little adventure to Wisconsin Dells. This is my story.

Nerves. I have to admit that I was pretty nervous about going on this trip by myself. I've been cross country on greyhound and amtrak before but this was different. I was actually driving. I set up the gps and turned on some Metallica to try to set the mood. Driving on the freeway system here in Milwaukee is nerve racking in itself. As soon as I got out of the city and onto the interstate I was good to go.

Bambi. On my way to Wisconsin Dells I encountered a lot of road kill. That is typical in this state though. Mainly smaller animals such as skunks and racoons. This time around I actually saw quite a bit of deer on my way up there and on my way back home too. Every time I passed by a deer I would say "awww bambi". I've been all over Wisconsin and I have never actually seen a deer cross the interstate. It did happen once while I was on vacation with my parents but I was asleep at the time. Damn the luck.

Wrong way. By the time I got to Madison I had Metallica blasting and I had determined that I was very much enjoying having the car to myself for a road trip. You don't realize how truly crazy you are until you are in a car by yourself for 2 hours. Some of the shit that was coming out of my mouth I will not repeat here. Lets just say anyone who ever road trips with me in the future, I'm sorry. Anyways I had to switch interstates in Madison and I am driving along and all of a sudden my lane turns into an exit and I did not want to go there. So I did what every other asshole driver would do, I cut over to the proper lane. Yes I made sure no one was around when I did this. I did not cut anyone off. Maybe they should warn you ahead of time when a lane is turning into an exit only lane?

GPS why you fly at me? What is it with shit and flying at me? Few months back I had a flashlight randomly fly at me. During my trip it was the gps. I am almost at the Dells, in fact I had like 3.5 miles to go and all of a sudden the gps falls off the window flies towards me and then ends up on the passenger side on the floor. Great. I had to try to drive and pick the gps from off the floor so I could hear gps lady and her annoying voice telling me to where to go. I managed to do that and avoid serious injury!

A release. I get to the condo and I'm walking around the room. I totally had a breakdown. I think it was a release from everything that I've been feeling recently. It was good to get it all out though. Then I was nervous again cause I was there by myself. Sure I've been to the Dells plenty of times but I've never been alone. I then notice some stuff like the phone book from the room is missing and they didn't give me any ice bucket. Stuff that was not really a big deal cause I wasn't going to be using them anyways. My room was located right next to the outdoor pool. I had a good view of the pool and of the lake. That was pretty sweet in itself. I eventually calmed myself down cause I wanted to have an adventure!

Lost. I went out driving that night in search for Ponderosa and Walmart. I knew what general area Ponderosa was located and the same for Walmart. Well on my way to Ponderosa I did not see it. I went by where it was suppose to be and I saw nothing. All of a sudden I am back on the interstate going south. Fuck! This is not where I wanted to go. I quick got into panic mode and was like where the fuck is this taking me. I said to myself that it is ok cause the gps is still in the car and if necessary I will use it. I come up to an exit and decide to get off on the exit. I decide that I would go to Walmart and get food instead of going back to find Ponderosa. I look at the map for Walmart and I am right next to it. Yay! One slight issue. I am in the left turn lane and I should of made a right. Fuck! I can't back up. So I had to wait for this long light to turn green so I could go. I decide to try to find some area where I can turn around. I picked a very bad area cause I made a very sharp turn and I am lucky that I did not go off the road or something. Oh well, it is ok. No one was hurt, car is still in one piece. No harm done! On the way back the hotel I ended up turning too early and went down the wrong road. God damn it Nick! Pay attention. So again I had to turn around and get back on the right road and turn down the right street.

Sleepless nights. I had a string of nights where I had little sleep at all. Monday night was at home and that was due to storms. Tuesday night the Dells got hit with storms. Thundering and lightning with very heavy rain. Wednesday night it wasn't storming but I still had a hard time sleeping. I was also woken up by thunder early Thursday morning thanks to even more storms. I didn't really get any decent sleep until I made it back home.

You no eat pizza. On Wednesday I decided that my adventure was going to include a lunch buffet at the Pizza Pub and later on a walk through Timbavati Wildlife Park. I love animals so I love going to zoos so of course I was looking forward to that. I went to Pizza Pub first. There were two entrances to the place. One was a parking lot that I couldn't really tell if it was for Pizza Pub or some other place and then another small parking area that apparently only has room for 3 cars. Which one did I go to? The one with 3 cars. 2 handicap and one regular parking. Fuck! So I had to back out of there and then go into the right entrance so I could park. I get in the place and I've always had friendly service there and the food is always excellent. It was the same this time around too. However I did go up to get food and I came back and all my stuff is gone. My drink, napkins, silverware. I'm like wtf. So I ask the waitress bout it and she said someone must of assumed that I was done. She went and got me replacements. I am sitting there and suddenly I think to myself "you no eat pizza". I totally starting laughing and smiling. I am sure I looked like a retard but who cares. I might never see some of those people again, right? I enjoyed the rest of my time there with no further incidents and went back to the condo to rest before my trip to the wildlife park.

Must of been hump day. Mid afternoon I decide to take a trip to find this wildlife park. It was about the easiest thing to find on my entire trip btw. The place has a nice setup. Some of the cages for the animals seem small though. I am pretty sure this place is fairly new cause there is a lot of room for expansion there. One of the first animals in there that I saw was a badger. So cute. Next to that cage is what I believe was a lynx. He did not like me very much. I was trying to talk to him and be nice. He kept hissing at me. I was just trying to be nice dude. Stop being a bitch! One of my favorite was the lemur, I think that is how it is spelled. He was so cute. He jumped up on the cage to try to get close to me and he was like reaching out with his hands. I made a friend. Awww, I would of taken him home but I don't know if a monkey roaming around my house would be a good idea. There were other various animals there such as lions, tigers, zebras, camels, etc. One of the highlights though had to be the turtles. Must of been mating season for them cause there were at least four couples of turtles going at it. They were making all sorts of noises too. It was rather amusing. This one turtle is trying to eat and this couple is right next to him going at it. I laughed. I tried not to laugh but I laughed. I enjoyed the place though. I wish they had more animals though. That is my only complaint.

Getting gas. Confession time. Before Thursday morning I had never filled up the car with gas by myself. Yes I know how to do it just normally, since I share the car with my father he is the one doing it. This time around I had no choice. Course there is a little adventure with this one too, why not? Everything I did on this trip had moments. I'm driving around trying to find a gas station and finally I come across one. So I pull in and well I pull into one that is out of order. Well I decide I will make it work anyways. Yeah that did not work out well. It wasn't accepting my choice of payment or anything. Course the gas station is filled with people and I am standing next to a pump that is out of order. Oh talk about being embarrassed. So I got in my car and I drove away. On to the next gas station! Which I did find a gas station and I had no issues getting gas from there. I swear there was no dull moment when I was out and about on this trip.

Hillbillies are going to come out and rape me. Before I drove back to Milwaukee, I decided to take a bit of a detour to Blue Mounds, Wisconsin to check out Cave of the Mounds. I've never been in a cave before and I've been wanting to check it out for quite some time. I decided to go on a bit of an adventure. Initially driving down that way was fine until stupid gps lady decided to put me on some country roads. I'm talking middle of the woods type of roads here. No they weren't dirt roads but they were narrow and one wrong turn you'd end up in a ditch or in my case falling off a cliff. Had to drive carefully, especially since I had no idea where the hell I was. Of course this entire time I had to piss really bad and it seemed like I was on these back roads forever. As I am driving along I think to myself, some hillbillies are going to come out, jump my car, and then rape me. Yes the lovely things that cross my mind as I am driving alone in the middle of nowhere. Driving along this country road and it looks like I should turn left but gps lady never says to turn left so I keep going straight and then she tells me recalculating. I start yelling at her. "You motherfucking bitch, I have to piss really bad and you are getting me lost!" Not like she could hear me or anything or maybe she can and she was sitting there laughing at me. After what seemed like an eternity of back roads I finally made it to my destination.

In a cave. Never been in a cave before. Really interesting. Pretty cool too. The cave was like only 50 degrees. I should of planned better for walking around for an hour in that cave. Its ok though. Also kinda wet in the cave. Constant water dripping in random places. It is said that if you get hit by these cave drops that it will give you good luck. Man I was literally getting a motherfucking shower by these cave drops and I sure as hell don't think my luck has changed one bit. The cave though, pretty damn cool. I am glad that I drove out of my way and got lost to go there. Beautiful in that cave. I took a ton of pictures. Not all of them turned out the way I wanted them too. My camera kinda sucks, I need an upgrade at some point. Our tour guide was really awesome and knowledgeable. Overall I am really glad I finally got to check it out. I started looking up other caves in Wisconsin that you can visit. We have 6 in the state. I will attempt to see them all one day.

Must drive 80. My sanity comes into question once again while I was driving back home to Milwaukee. I learned that people do not know how to drive on the interstates. Slower traffic to the right, faster traffic in the left. People use the left lane to go around slower traffic in the right. Not a hard concept. Well one might assume that of course. At one point during my drive home I kept like yelling that I wanted to drive 80. Not entirely sure why. The speed limit was 65 most of the way. I was hellbent on doing 80. No I did not do 80 the entire way. There was one occasion when I got up to 85 though. Actually what kept happening is I am hoovering around 70 and people in front of me are doing 60-65 so I was constantly yelling at them that they needed to get the fuck out of my way cause I wanted to drive 80. Didn't work like that. The drive home was fine until I hit just outside Milwaukee. With all the stupid construction and people being idiots it ended up being a parking lot for a little bit. But obviously I did make it home.

Learned a lot about myself in those few days traveling just by driving. Talking to myself, the radio, the gps, and other drivers, I could probably make a good reality show. Driving with the Nick. That is fucking brilliant! The gps lady was pissing me off so much as I was trying to leave Milwaukee that I flipped her off. Did she see it? I am going to assume not but hell it was worth it! The point is that I had fun over the course of a few days. I got to do something that I've never done before and I make one hell of an awesome person to travel with cause of the random shit that I say and do. Making up random songs about how people suck at driving. Well you know the intro to "For Whom The Bell Tolls"? I was making up random lyrics about shitty drivers during that part.

Overall I say it was a fun and much needed trip. All the random shit that happened made it well worth it. I am looking forward to at some point planning out another trip like that.



3am again and I stand there and stare out the window. Most people are asleep at this time. Me, sometimes I am restless. Often I think too much. Staring out the window provides some odd comfort, it also gets me to think and to daydream.

I'm not the only one awake at that time. The window in question is the hallway window leading up to my room. It overlooks the end of our driveway, the garage, the backyard, and the parking slab. At this time of night I see plenty of animals roaming around our backyard. Rabbits are common. One time I saw an opossum running through the backyard. More recently I saw a huge skunk roaming around. See, not the only thing awake late at night.

Thoughts about my sister. I was suppose to write this last week and never got around to it. The 7th of this month marked the 5 year anniversary of my sister's first suicide attempt. On the 7th at 3am I went to the window to look out of it. My thoughts were of my sister. Most of the stuff she did that night 5 years ago were done in the middle of the night. I'd like to think I know what my sister was thinking and feeling that night but no one will ever know except for my sister. I will never think suicide or attempting suicide is the correct answer but I do understand it to a point. I'm sure I've talked about it in previous blogs. Anyways as I stand there looking out the window I wonder how my sister is feeling now that she is gone. Is she finally happy? Is she looking over us? Is she still sad? So many questions but never really getting an answer.

A little daydream in the middle of the night. The very next night I decided to stop by the window again. It was a bit windy that night so I opened up the window and let the chilly wind hit my face. It felt refreshing. I closed my eyes and let the breeze hit my face. I had a vision of me having a female companion by me. She walks up behind me to give me a hug. She asks me what I am doing and I reply I'm just looking out the window thinking. I then say to her lets go outside with a blanket and watch the stars. She replies with isn't it cold outside? I reply back with don't worry, we have each other. We go out into the backyard and set a blanket on the grass. We lay on the blanket and hold each other while looking up at the night sky to see the stars.

I really like that last part with the little day dream. If I believe in it enough then one day it will happen. I'll continue my 3am window viewing, if I am awake at that hour of the night.


A little rant

I see Wisconsin made the news again thanks to some 12 year old girls who decided to try to kill a friend of theirs. I noticed that they already started placing the blame on everything else except for the fact that these teenage girls may indeed be fucked up in the head. Who the hell at the age of 12 decides to plot out someone's death? Lets go and blame everything else about what might of happened instead of the actual source. Lets bash tv, movies, music, video games, etc for the acts of 2 disturbed 12 year olds. What about the parents? How in the hell did the parents not know any of this was going on? You know what I think? Lets blame the parents for fucking failing at their job as parents. Raising little psychopaths to run around. If they didn't succeed this time then they may of the next time around. Seriously though blaming this shit on random shit other then the actual source of the problem is annoying.

Let me tell you all a story of a 9 year old boy named Nicholas. He was very much into video games. He use to play this game called Police Quest and he would go up to females and ask them to have sex with him. Wow, this kid is going to grow up to be a rapist or something or a sex offender. He is going around in a video game asking chicks to have sex with him. Oh man we have a potential problem here. That is not even the worst part. He use to be obsessed with this game called Flight Simulator. Well nothing wrong with that right? He wants to be a pilot. Actually no, Nicholas liked to fly airplanes into buildings for hours. Oh man he should be on a list of possible terrorists by now, right? I mean 9 years old and all he wants to do is fly planes into buildings. That is a no-no. 26 years later however Nicholas still knows what right from wrong is and when he plays video games he does not apply to the real world. It is not hard to determine what is right and what is wrong, some people however just wanna watch the world burn.

Stop blaming video games and other shit such as the internet, movies, music, etc, cause not all of us turned out to be sick and demented psychopaths.


Annie, are you ok?

"Annie, are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok
Are you ok, Annie"

Quoting a Michael Jackson song to begin a blog. I bet people didn't think I would ever do that. The other night I was bored and I started watching some MJ videos and I rediscovered how much I use to really like his music. Gotta remember that when I went through my heavy metal phase back in my high school years I pretty much stopped listening to everything that was none metal. I admit to being a big MJ fan when I was a kid. I even had an MJ doll, more on that later. This entire writing is inspired by the Smooth Criminal video and song.

Smooth Criminal. You know I never really liked the video until a few days ago. I think cause of the long middle part where they start basically having a big orgy, it just made the video too long for me. Ok so I know they are not having an orgy but hell maybe they should? Anyways, I decide to watch the video the other night and I decided the song and video are good. So good that now a few days later I am inspired to write about it, oh and I've listened to the song repeatedly too. When I go for my morning walks I find myself singing random songs. Now you all know what I've been singing this week. Probably a good thing I haven't ran into anyone named Annie while on my walks. That would probably make things a bit awkward. Funny but awkward.

Who the hell is Annie? When I was discussing the video with my friend Mary the other night, I was wondering who in the hell is Annie. Obviously in the song Annie is some chick who is gunned down and we assume she is dead. It does not tell us who she is and where did MJ get the idea to use some chick named Annie for the song. Still not entirely sure who Annie actually is. A lover of his, a friend, a love interest, etc. I don't think we ever really do find out, or maybe we do and I just can't read between the lines. I did find out some stuff about the name Annie though and why MJ used it in the song. Course you can't believe everything you read on the internet though so I'll take this with a grain of salt. Before the song was written MJ was taking cpr classes and the name of his doll was Annie. It is/was a common practice for cpr to ask your victim repeatedly if they are ok. The lines in the song dealing with Annie make perfect sense with this scenario. He was inspired by his cpr doll and class to write a song about his cpr doll, which was named Annie. Brilliant. I wouldn't of guessed that at all.

My future daughter Annie. I'm not saying that this is going to happen cause this requires a lot of things to happen so lets just be hypothetical for a moment. I think I mentioned in a previous blog that if I were to ever have a son that I would name him Gaylord. Why would I name him Gaylord? Cause I am an asshole. I would totally have fun with making fun of the name and I know other kids would make fun of the name too. Gaylord would probably get seriously depressed and probably kill himself. Did I just make a joke about a son of mine committing suicide? Maybe. Anyone who really knows me knows not to take me seriously though. Back to the name Annie. If I were to ever have a daughter I would name her Annie. Why? Do I even really need to explain this one? I would do it so I could fuck with her on a daily basis. I'd be singing "Annie, are you ok" to her all the time. Even if she responds to me with a yes or no, I'd continue to sing it. I'm playing this scenario in my head where I call her school up and I get them to ask for her on the intercom and I get them to say "Annie, are you ok" over the school intercom. Oh that would be awesome. I really truly am an asshole though and I am pretty sure if I ever do have kids that they will hate me.

Must recreate the Pepsi commercial incident. Back in the 80s MJ got burned during a Pepsi commercial. What people do not know is that someone I knew tried to recreate the incident with my MJ doll. Now mind you I was probably like 8 or so, I am not really too sure on the age, and I hung around with my brothers, sisters, and all their friends. One day out of boredom I suppose I let one of our friends take my MJ doll and set him on fire. Totally burnt his face. His face turned black. Then he burnt a hole in his chest too. Of course I thought it was the funniest thing ever. The Pepsi commercial incident was recreated!

A confession of sorts. I played with barbie dolls as a kid. There, I admit it! My sisters handed down barbie dolls to me and I played with them. However there is a twist to this story. See I've always been a bit of a pervert, you really need to watch out for those quiet ones. So um yeah I use to make my barbie dolls have sex with each other. Most of them were female barbie dolls so I had a collection of lesbian barbie dolls. To make it worse, I use to get my MJ doll in on the action too and he would have threesomes with the other dolls. The other barbie dolls did not want to share MJ though so they had chick fights all the time. I would cut their hair off and pretend that the chicks were getting into hair pulling shouting matches over MJ. Then I just carried on with the threesomes. I never said I didn't have issues. I also never said that I was normal. At least I didn't go around doing what other kids do now a days. So I had barbie dolls that had sex with each other? So what. I turned out just fine. Well actually, the jury is still out on that.

Years later I do still like his music. I don't listen to it all too often though. This week has been an exception. I even picked up my guitar and started playing the main riff to "Beat It". I blasted my amp for that one. Sounded awesome.

Can't believe I wrote an entire blog inspired by an MJ song. I guess this is just what I do though, I create.



I have reached the 250 mark for my blog. Lets celebrate! Technically I've written more then 250. Some blogs got deleted, like when I was doing the video blogs. They are all gone now. If you want to get really technical, I've written over 1000 blogs. My livejournal no longer exists though. I sorta regret getting rid of it now but some of the stuff I wrote about in there is really not worth remembering. Plus I was angry and pissed off, a lot of what I said in some of those entries could be used against me. So it is good that it is gone. Out with the past, right? Oh I wish it was that easy.

Weather is finally turning decent here. The other day we were up to 86 degrees. That was a bit too warm for me however. I live in the attic, well the upstairs use to be an attic back in the day, and attics get hot so you can only imagine how bad it can get up here. The majority of the summer I have my air conditioner going. I set that shit to a nice comfortable temperature. The only issue is my bed is in the other room and it does not get as cool as my computer room. I may some issues sleeping because of this. Normally during the summer I spent some time sleeping downstairs and some time sleeping upstairs. At least downstairs I can sleep underneath a ceiling fan, which is nice. I'm rambling on about air conditioners. Anyways, the weather here is perfect at the moment. If the weather can stay like this for the entire summer I'd be one happy Nick.

A weekend of fire therapy. It is Memorial Day weekend and well typically we don't do much for it but I have plans for the next two days. First off, as of right now unless plans change, I am going over by my sister's house tomorrow night for a fire. It will be her first one of the year. I always have fun over there. Then on Sunday we are having our first cookout of the year over here and I am bringing out the fire pit for Sunday night. I intend on setting lots of stuff on fire again. As far as the cookout, I am making brats, hot dogs, burgers, chicken that I intend on marinating in bbq sauce overnight, and a small steak for myself. Yep, always cook way too much food. It is the Kendzierski way. I have 4 tiki torches to put around the yard now. It will be a nice added touch to our night of fire therapy. Monday, which is actually Memorial Day, will be a day of doing absolutely nothing.

Plans plans plans. While I won't reveal much about some of the things upcoming in my life, I find it better to do this so people don't give me shit for not doing something later, I will say that I have a few things on my agenda. One of them is writing a spoof type story to the Noah movie. Basically Noah the Nick style. Be scared. Some of the ideas floating around in my head, well they might be stupid to some but to me they are rather amusing. I should also write a continuation to my Face story. I kinda left everyone hanging in part two and I know that I've said before that I was going to work on it and I haven't. I need to. Seriously, I already have a great way to end part three that amuses me just even thinking about it. Writing is an important aspect of my life and I am constantly told that I need to do more. I was told to start writing children's fables. Maybe I should? Could be fun. Other stuff is on my agenda and I figure that I may have a busy summer taking care of a few things. Y'all will know when I get stuff done cause I will come right to my blog with it.

Nothing too special with this blog. I basically just wanted to give a brief update on the happenings going on in my life. This upcoming weekend should be a good one. I will be spending a lot of time outside in front of a fire. Maybe that is just what I need to not only unstress myself but to get some creative juices flowing. Possibly even think about what it is I am going to do next. Wide open statement there, it could mean anything.


Goodbye 50%

Goodbye 50%, you did not last long. In fact, I think the whole 50% thing didn't even make it two full weeks. I think me losing my new raid leader may of been some of my fault. I didn't like some of the things that were going on so I voiced my opinion. Maybe I just suck at choosing officers and people to run the guild? Maybe I just need to go ahead and run these raids myself or with my co-gm? We were kinda doing that before and bosses were dying.

Raid leader is a shit job. Yes, being a raid leader is a shitty job. You have other people to control and tell what to do. Do people like listening and being told what to do? Fuck no. I don't even like being told what to do. I am stubborn and stuck in my ways. I've done the whole raid lead before and all I ever dealt with was whining and bitching about all sorts of stuff. At some point in my raid leading career, oh yes I did just refer to it was a job cause lets be honest here raid leading is sorta like a job, I started telling people that if they had any complaints, comments, or anything else to not bother me or the other raid leader during the raid and we would discuss it afterwards. You have to remember as a raid leader that you are not there to be everybody's friend, you are there to run a group of people in hopes that you down a raid boss. Same is applied to running a guild, don't try to be everybody's friend. Of course this does go against my "how to be a gm" blog.

There are some rewards to being a raid leader. When I was raid leading back in Cata I was co-running raids with one of the officers. I pretty much sat back and let him explain most of the stuff and then offered advice as the fights went on. Making adjustments, telling him what people are doing right or wrong, etc. We made a pretty good team. There was one raid boss that we just could not kill. We wiped on him a total of 81 times, which is a lot for one boss. All of us were getting frustrated by the time we got close to 80 times dying on him. I decided to do some research on the fight and discovered we may of been doing it wrong. On raid night I took over on that fight and explained a new stragedy to everyone. It took a couple of more tries but we did finally kill him. We had him on farm status for the next two months after that. Despite all the bitching, whining, wipes, etc there are some rewards to being a raid leader. When you finally kill a boss that has been plaguing your guild for awhile, it is a pretty good feeling.

Some people are just not cut out to raid lead. I think that is what happened here, maybe, or he just didn't like the guild. Even the most vocal and organized people are not cut out to do the raid lead shit. Remember what I said about not being everybody's friend? You can't be. Not if you want a raid to be successful. If someone is constantly fucking up or showing up with shit gemmed or enchanted wrong, or no flasks and other raid necessary materials, then you kick them in the ass and say ok I don't think you can take raiding seriously so until you do then your ass is on the bench. They may just thank you later on for being honest with them or they could rage quit. The mentality of a WoW player now a days is to get pissed off and rage quit. You as a raid leader are not there to baby people and hold their hands. They should know their shit prior to stepping into that raid. If they don't then they need to be informed that they are being replaced and explained why they are being replaced. Be honest with people. Don't bullshit your way through raid leading. Doesn't mean you have to be an asshole all the time, just be truthful. Also during raids you will get bombarded with people telling you what this person is doing and what that person is doing, the stragedy is wrong, etc. It is fine to listen to what they have to say and make changes that YOU think are necessary, but if people are constantly harassing you during a raid you tell them...look we will talk about this after the raid and then it will be decided if anything needs to be changed. You have to learn how to tune other people out and run things to the best of your knowledge and abilities.

Again I am not entirely sure what all transpired that caused my raid leader to up and leave but now it seems as if I will probably be taking over the ranks of raid leading with my co-gm. I was trying to avoid me running raids, maybe there is still an option out there for us, but for now it looks as if we will be doing it. I think we will be fine. We do make a good team after all.

My original intention wasn't to give "a how to guide on raid leading", it was more or less to poke fun at the whole 50% thing that I just blogged about. Course now my co-gm is saying that she could just go full lesbo to maintain the 50% in the guild. I think quite a few guys would be disappointed if she decided to go full lesbo, well I should retract some of that statement cause lesbos are awesome (typical guy speaking here, sorry) but seriously I am sure a few guys out there would be disappointed, myself included.


Blue Monday

Today is a curl up in a ball on the couch type of day. That is exactly what I did not too long ago. Skies are grey and we are getting the occasional rainstorm. It is decent outside but if you leave the windows opened a cool breeze comes in. It was far too cold to keep the windows opened though. It has been definitely what I call a blue Monday.

I sense much anger in you. I would say I wake up on the wrong side of the bed some mornings, but this is basically impossible for me to do. I sleep on a couch. Yeah it is a futon but if I were to convert it into a bed, it would take up too much space in my room. So I am sleeping on a couch with only one side to get off on. Maybe that is one of my issues? Maybe I need an actual bed to sleep on? Well to be honest I've never really been a bed sleeper anyways. Always slept on couches. This probably explains a lot huh? Back to the original subject, I've been pretty angry today. Started when I woke up and lasted until sometime in the afternoon. Now instead of being angry I am dealing with headaches. I am going to say stress related. Self inflicted stress most likely. People I think are just irritating me lately. Even the little things are getting to me. I constantly tell myself, Nick just chill the hell out. Thats what it comes down to, I need to chill out and relax. A lot of it is having to do with the guild I am running on WoW. People are totally driving me nuts. I'm questioning my sanity for allowing myself to be put back into a position of running a guild. I know I can do it but sometimes I just want to scream really loud, or get a fire pit going and start pushing people into the fire.

Sometimes anger leads to production. I haven't sat around all day and been like "I hate the world!", I actually managed to put it to some good use. I went outside and cut the grass. I didn't really want to do it in the first place but I figured being outside may of been a good way to change my mood a bit. It was nice outside so that was a plus. Suppose to be nice outside for the majority of the week too. Maybe that is what I need to do, spend more time outside. I've also been wanting to go shopping to get a few more things for our get togethers, like more lawn chairs and more tiki torches. I hopped in the car, blasted some Metallica, and headed to Target to go buy some more stuff. Metallica car therapy always helps.

Curling up in a ball on the couch. I think I was just drained due to stress, that I shouldn't even be having in the first place, and I decided by mid afternoon to curl up in a ball on the couch and fall asleep. First I made sure to take some pills and then I sat on the couch, literally curled up in a ball. I fell asleep for a little bit. I think like an hour and a half of sleeping on and off. I think my other issue has been lack of sleep. My body probably hates me right now and is trying to tell me, Nick get some sleep God damn it! It was nice to get a little bit of a nap in there. Oh I forgot to mention in here somewhere that I woke up feeling a bit sickish this morning. I am going to blame it on all the junk food we have in the house. We really need to stop buying garbage. I need to be staying away from this crap but if I get bored I am tempted to eat random stuff. Temptation sucks.

Upcoming fire therapy. See all is not so bad in the world of Nick though. This upcoming Sunday we are going to have our Memorial Day get together a day early. We are having a cookout and I get to have some more much needed fire therapy. I don't think I have enough wood though and I will need to go out and buy some more before this weekend. Unless I decide to start taking apart random stuff in the house to burn. While that idea is tempting, I will stick with going out to buy wood. Oh and the weather looks to be perfect for this upcoming Sunday. Hooray for that. Sunday will be our first cookout since probably September or something.

Think my title for the blog was a bit deceiving. I stole the title from the song "Blue Monday". I figured it went well cause it is Monday and its a bit grey outside and I've been sorta pissy and antisocial. So the title is fitting! At least I'm not battling depression, right? I'm fine, I've chilled out for now at least. Lets hope things don't change.

I shall end this with a quote. Yes, a Star Wars quote.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”


Issues with marshmallows

Apparently add marshmallows to the list of things that give me issues. Marshmallows? What? How? Why? I'll explain. Figured I would write about something to add some amusement to everyone's Friday night.

A grill cover is not a good place to put marshmallows. Many years ago when I was a kid we had cookouts frequently. It was a tradition to roast marshmallows and have smores. One cookout we had, I believe it was for Memorial Day, I nearly ruined marshmallows for everyone. I was in charge of taking the bag outside so we can all roast them. I went outside and there wasn't anything for me to put the marshmallows on. No place for me to put them, other then the ground, but I didn't want to do that. Ants on marshmallows are bad, right? My brilliant idea was to place them on top of the cover to the grill. Now you can guess how this one went. The cover was still pretty warm so instantly the marshmallows started to melt. By the time I realized this I had lost a bunch, and then to make things worse I dumped probably about half the bag onto the ground. Course I got laughed at and everyone was like what the hell are you doing. I told them I needed a place to put the marshmallows. Who would of thought that putting them on the cover of a warm grill was a bad idea? Hey I was young and stupid, now I am just old and stupid. I didn't live this one down for years. Every time we had a cookout someone would ask, hey Nick wanna have some marshmallows, go put some on the grill cover. Something similar to that. Bastards! You know how they have warning labels on everything? Why don't they have a warning label on the bag of marshmallows to tell you not to put it on a warm grill cover. Maybe they do and I just haven't seen it before?

Never put a bag of marshmallows behind a toaster oven. This past weekend we had a get together at our house. We bought marshmallows, hersey candy bars, and graham crackers for smores. Sadly since we had a ton of food already we never did get to make any. Didn't need to make any to have an incident occur. The bag of marshmallows was in the kitchen on Saturday before the party, and I was trying to find a location to put them. Without really thinking I put them on top of the toaster oven, which they eventually fell behind the toaster oven. No big deal cause no one was going to use it anyways, right? Until Sunday morning when I decided to use the toaster oven to heat up some bagels. Totally never saw the bag there and didn't bother to look either. Few hours later I come downstairs and my father is screwing around with the toaster oven. There was a nice spot of marshmallows melted on the toaster oven. The bag wasn't totally ruined but quite a few marshmallows melted. My father asked me what the hell happened and how did the bag of marshmallows get behind the toaster oven. I told him that I didn't know and well at the time it was the truth. I didn't remember putting them behind the toaster oven. It didn't occur to me until after I went back upstairs and I realized oh yeah I was the one who put them on the toaster oven and they fell behind it. Once I determined that I was the one guilty of ruining a ton of marshmallows, I had a pretty good laugh about it.

I'm not entirely sure what my issue is with marshmallows. For all I know there are probably more instances in which I've had issues with them and I just don't remember. I guess the moral of the story is keep bags of marshmallows away from me. Of course it could bring forth another story down the road of my issues with marshmallows.


I am not entirely sure how this happened but as of last week 50% of the officers in my guild are gay. I am surrounded by gay people! Oh no. This may corrupt my mind, and I may want to switch sides. Nah, highly unlikely, I am not even curious about it. I love women too much. Not entirely sure why. They are all evil. Well the vast majority of them anyways. To save some face here though I will go on record and say men are assholes and women are bitches. Women are bitches cause men are assholes and men are assholes because we have a penis. Something like that, I am getting easily off topic at the moment.

The only straight male. Out of the five officers in my guild I am the only straight male as an officer. Our team consists of three males and two females. Both of the other males are gay. True story, one of the other officers, Kris has been with more females in his life that I have. Damn my morals. I should just become a male whore and sleep with anything. Highly unlikely that will ever happen.

The bi-chick. Ok I am sure you all are wondering how I got the 50% if there are five of us. Well one of the female officers, my co-gm, is bi. She thought she might be gay but we determined that she is bi cause she still likes penis. I am not sure I believe in the word bi though so I will just call her confused. One day she wants penis and the next day she changes her mind that she wants vagina. That isn't being bi, its called confusion. Of course this leads me to the question, what if she wants both in the same day? I'll still go with confusion.

The officer and facebook chats. Oh lord. Well thankfully no one is sending out penis pictures via the facebook messages, not yet anyways. Thanks to my friend Kris though, I have seen more then enough penis in the past few years. Wow Nick, that just totally sounded bad. I shall explain myself. See Kris is very open about his gayness and we are in this group on facebook called PWMB. Secret group, and for good reason. I've seen more and know more about Kris then I want to know. I have to say though sometimes Kris amuses me quite a bit. I suppose if I ever wanted to talk about chicks I can always go to my co-gm about that one, depending on what she prefers that day of course. If it is a day in which she prefers the penis it may not be a good day to talk to her about other females. Then again, I've mentioned my feelings about her in a previous blog so if I went to her about anything female related, it would most likely be about her.

So yeah things in the guild are a bit interesting at the moment thanks to the 50%. Wonder if we should maintain the 50% as we move forward? It might get complicated if we add more officers, unless we decide to give confused people officer spots from now on. Confused people are far more entertaining, wouldn't y'all agree?


Fire therapy

If everyday was like yesterday then life would just be great. Still despite the greatness, something is missing, I'll explain more later. Yesterday I got my much needed fire therapy. Was kinda sad when the night ended but it was a great day. I'm just really tired at the moment due to lack of sleep the past few nights.

Yesterday we had a party for my father's birthday and for mother's day. Tons of food and lots of people over. Cindy and I organized the entire thing with her paying for basically the majority of it. Really appreciate that by the way, although she won't see that cause I am pretty sure she never reads my blogs. We ordered pizza and chicken. On top of that we had various salads, dips, and I made my bacon stuffed shells. I wanted to see what people thought of them cause I've only ever made them for my father and I. People loved them, of course, my shells are freaking amazing. Yes I did just give myself a pat on the back. On top of all that food we had two cakes and we were suppose to do smores but that never happened. At least we have some shit that we can reuse for the next party.

Kids do not try this at home. We had a good fire going for hours last night. We had tons of wood to burn on top of a bunch of branches and random shit from the yard. Tons of paper and my father was handing me pictures from my wedding, which I threw into the fire. I believe we had at least 10 people contributing stuff to put into the fire. At one point I really got the fire going by throwing in some peg boards into the pit. Of course I may of added to it a bit by getting the lighter fluid out and spraying it into the pit. Yeah maybe the kids do not try this at home part applies to me. Well my aim is bad, insert random joke about me having bad aim here, and I was spraying the top of the cover to the fire pit. At one point the cover to the fire pit was on fire. Maybe my bad aim is why I am still single. See I didn't need anyone to make a joke for me, I did it myself, like I always do, insert another random joke most likely about masturbation.

It was a nice night to sit around by a fire, catch up with people, listen to music, etc. My cousin was over and I believe it had been about a year since I last seen her. We talked about some paranormal stuff, btw I have a story about that too, which will be mentioned later. A nice added feature was me getting a couple of tiki torches and sticking them in the ground around the parking slab. I need to get some more, they were totally cool. When the night ended and everyone had to go home it was sad but overall a really great day. Perfect weather too, like seriously, mother nature was nice to us yesterday. Thank you so much.

How is my cell phone calling the house if I didn't dial the number? Last night before I took my sister Cindy home something weird happened. I had my cell phone in my pocket, I must mention that before going further into the story. I walk into the house and the house phone rings, 10:45pm, who is the hell is calling now? I look at the caller ID and it is a wireless number and it looks like my number. I pick it up and nothing. I hang up and look at my cell phone and yeah my cell phone was being used to dial the house phone. How in the hell did that happen? It is entirely possible that I bumped something but I don't have any numbers in my phone on speed dial and you have to actually search for the number in my phone in order to call it. I am unsure what the hell happened there but it is totally weird.

Something was missing. Yeah despite the fact that yesterday was a great day all around something was missing. Basically having to do with me not having anyone special in my life. I should word that differently, I'm not really seeing anyone is a better way of putting it. I have special people in my life, just you know. So I am sitting there by the fire and I start thinking bout that for a little bit. No I didn't let it depress me, just thought about how nice it would be to share moments like this with someone special and then carried on with just paying attention to the fire. I think it is only natural to have these thoughts occasionally but I keep telling myself one thing, and this is how I get by. All good things are worth waiting for. Thankfully I am pretty patient.

Thats all for now. Hooray for fire therapy, it was much needed. Should get some more next weekend too, weather permitting.


Need to change

Damn these back and forth mood swings of mine. I've actually been pretty good the past week or so and now I am back to blah. Totally hate this. I figured though that instead of sitting here making myself suffer that I would come to my blog and just write whatever comes to my mind I suppose.

Weather is beautiful right now. Maybe that is part of the problem. I should be outside enjoying it instead of being in the house. Well tomorrow I will be outside the majority of the night cause we are having our first fire of the year. Yay for fire therapy. I have plenty of shit to burn. No people to burn. Damn. Anybody have any bodies laying around to dispose of? I could use your help.

Hey yesterday was a good news type of day though. First it started in the middle of the night with some negativity leaving my guild on WoW. I won't say anymore then that cause its over with, time to move on. Found some new officers for the guild. Notice how all of this is WoW related so far? Son of a bitch. My efforts to quit that game just never work. I'm going to have to get more aggressive with my attempts to leave, like uninstalling the game! Anyways, with new officers this means less stress on Amanda and I. Shortly after that my sister Cindy tells me that on the 27th of June she can get out of work early so we can go to Summerfest and check out The Pretty Reckless show. Awesome! I am happy bout that. Few other things happened that I won't mention here but it was a good news type of day.

I do know what is troubling me. I am not going to talk about it in my blog though. Think I'll keep it to myself actually. Yeah I am sure I'll get yelled at cause I want to keep the majority of it to myself, but seriously it boils down to I need to change. I'm not talking bout how I act, how I am towards people, etc. I am talking bout change on a much larger scale. I wake up every day and tell myself that this is going to be the day, and that day never does come. So I need to change and it needs to be done soon. I need to kick myself in the ass and just do it. Don't be afraid of the outcome Nick, cause only good things will happen. Just do it. Stop analyzing everything and thinking of possible disaster scenarios.

I think that it is for now. I am going to enjoy the rest of my evening. Probably kill random people on WoW some how, seems like it always makes my days better. Listen to some music. Enjoy the nice weather. Be happy cause tomorrow is fire therapy!


Stubbing my toe

The toe saga continues. Mind you that despite my problems I can still walk and I am not in need of cutting off my foot to install a peg leg, that could be coming at some point though. I certainly am not helping it out by now stubbing my toe a few times. First time was while I was at Target yesterday with my sister, which has a funny story in itself. Second time, um well I don't remember. Third time though was this morning. I figured I'd name my blog stubbing my toe cause it seems to me that is what I am good at doing right now.

Target yesterday, what an adventure. The car I drive is small so I have to be careful how much crap I buy so we have no issues getting it into the car. I should of thought bout this before going inside the store and buying what we did. My sister and I are getting things together for my father's party next Saturday. Since our fire pit season is starting I figure it would be nice to get some new chairs and a table for our outdoor adventures. Well a bigger shopping cart would of been helpful. I picked up four chairs and a decent size round table. Problem is we both had a lot of shit in our shopping carts so trying to make them fit was a huge task. Also got some tiki torches too and while they are cool, they are awkward and long and made it more difficult to get anything in the cart. Anyways so I have all this shit in my cart. No where to put my hands to steer and I can't turn the cart cause it is too difficult with the amount of stuff in there. So I think you all can guess what happens. The chairs come flying out of the cart unto the ground. This is where I hit my foot on the shopping cart. Wearing shoes so the impact wasn't as bad. We get the chairs back in the cart and go to the checkout. We get all done there and we are coming out of the store. Of course what happens? The chairs go flying out of the cart again. Ugh. Seriously? People are looking at us now like there is something wrong with us. Maybe there is? I don't know. Anyways we finally make it to the car only to realize that it is possible that all of this shit will not fit in the car. Damn it. Why did I not think of this sooner? After screwing around for up to 10 minutes with car seats and whatnot we managed to fit all the stuff into the car. Only issue after that was me trying to back up and having tiki torches right in my face as I was backing up out of the parking stall. I have to say sometimes there is really never a dull moment when it comes to me.

I decided that since we didn't do a fire last night that I was going to hang around outside for awhile and just enjoy nature. I know I have said this before but I probably seem like an indoorish type of person to most people but that is far from the truth. I love being outside. Walking or just sitting around taking everything in. We have a lot of birds in the area so I sit around and I listen to them. To some people they are annoying but I love it. We also get a ton of rabbits roaming around and a lot of squirrels. I see squirrels all over the place. They are amusing at times how they run and hop around. Last night in particular there were two squirrels wrestling with each other for like at least 10-15 minutes. It was funny. It was nice to be outside for awhile, so peaceful and calm. Next weekend though begins fire therapy!

Not all of last night was so great. I managed to stub my toe again. I am not sure what I did to be totally honest. I probably walked into a wall. I am good at doing stupid shit like that. I was having random aches and pains all night too. First it started with my neck. Then my hands started hurting like I was dealing with carpal tunnel, pretty sure I do have carpal tunnel. Both of my knees were bothering me too. I was told when I was 14 that I had the knees of a 40 year old, I am now 35, I can't imagine how they are now. On top of that my toe was of course bothering me. Gee I wonder why? Maybe I should stop bumping it into shit. My head was also hurting but the pain shot down the right side of my face all the way to my neck. I was miserable but I took some pills and just tried to forget about all of that and I think it worked after awhile.

Oh so I forgot bout my Best Buy adventure from Tuesday. Ok so I had a 20 dollar gift certificate for being awesome or whatever and I found this gaming mouse that I wanted that was on sale for 67 dollars. I decided that I was going to go buy it. I hop in the car and drive out there. 15-20 min drive depending on how fast you go. Pouring rain out mind you. Never drove in that bad of rain before. So I get there and they have nothing on the shelves. I say well shit that sucks, I came out here for nothing. Go back home and check the website. I go to order it and it says pickup in store. I check for the store I was just at and sure enough I can pick it up there. Son of a bitch. Why did I not do this before hand? So I order it and do the pick up thing. Drive back out to Best Buy again in the pouring rain. I am in Best Buy for a whole 2 minutes and I am off to head back home with my new mouse that I should of ordered and did the pick up thing in the first place. For now on if I order anything from Best Buy I will do the pickup thingy.

Stubbing the toe part three. I woke up this morning and I decided that it was just not time for me to be awake yet. It was like after 8am or something. Anyways I put my glasses back down on the stand where I usually put them but then decided I needed to go into the other room for something. Not sure what it was. Mind you I have no glasses on and I can't see too well without them. So on my way out of the room I greet the computer chair by walking into it and of course what do I hit? My toe. Which I promptly said owwww really loud and then went into the other room and laid back down in bed. I start laughing my ass off at my own stupidity. Lesson learned, don't walk around without glasses on. Who am I kidding though? I do this all of the time. I've walked downstairs without my glasses on. Now that is a disaster waiting to happen if I continue to do that. Who am I kidding though? If I am going to fall down the stairs I will do it with or without glasses on. Just as long as next time I don't go head first into the cabinet next to the fridge again. That cabinet hurts.

Well now that you are all probably laughing at me and my misfortunes I am going to end the blog there. If I amused you then great I'll be back again soon with probably more funny tales of my life. I apparently always have some sort of story to tell. See y'all again soon.



That blog I wrote last night, yeah disregard that. I woke up this morning and I stabbed that dude in the neck. He is gone. If he comes back again I shall kick his ass and stab him again. Yeah ok my mood today is much better. I guess I am just going to have days like that. Everyone does, right?

My gout issue is still kinda there. Almost two weeks now. I can walk just fine though but the area is tender. Putting on shoes still sucks a little bit. Course now I have a little bit of another issue. My big toe on that foot has an ingrown toenail I believe. I can not catch a break can I? Well it is said, when it rains it pours. Yep totally like that at the moment it seems. Whatever though, I'll get through it. Cutting off my foot is still an option. Peg leg Nick, oh and then I can get myself an eye patch and I can be a pirate. Arrr, I'm a pirate motherfucker! Yeah Nick, if you want to be a pirate you need to work on the pirate talk.

Fire pit season is starting for us next week Saturday. Yes! I can not wait. Sitting in front of a fire is so relaxing to me. Much needed self therapy. I have so much stuff to burn too. I'll have to burn the bodies when people aren't around though. Too many questions that I don't want to answer. I'm kidding. There are no bodies to burn. Not yet anyways.

Summerfest is next month. Yay! Going to a bunch of shows. Actually not sure yet who I am all going to see yet. I may as well just set up a tent down by summerfest and camp out there. Lets see, on the 25th of June Neon Trees is playing. On the 26th while my sister is at Lady Gaga, Pentatonix is playing on one of the side stages. Then on the 27th The Pretty Reckless is playing at 3pm and then at 10pm that same day Five Finger Death Punch is playing. We are already for sure going to see Motley Crue on July 4th and Fall Out Boy on July 5th. Busy busy. Love live music though and it should be another good summer of live music.

Short blog but I wanted to write something that was more upbeat then what I wrote last night. I know I am going to have days such as yesterday but I'm not going to dwell. I have a lot of good stuff coming up and my life isn't terribly bad so positive thoughts or I should say I will be as positive as I can.

I think too much

May is starting off the same way April did for me. I seem to be battling through depression again. I can't even pinpoint one thing directly that is effecting me, it just seems like everything around me is in collapse mode. That is far from the truth though cause everything is actually fine. I feel it though. Constant pain and sadness and not knowing what to do to get out of this mess. I could talk to people I suppose, and I normally do, but I am not even sure what is going on inside my own head. Hard to communicate with someone if you don't know what it is you want to talk about. I thought I'd come to my blog for a bit and talk about it and maybe the question of what is wrong with me will be answered within the blog.

Today I've felt like I am in pain. Not a physical pain, more like an emotional pain. Unless you've actually dealt with depression it is hard to explain to someone how you are actually feeling. Most people would just tell you to get over it. While it is true, you kinda just need to find some happiness in your own misery, telling someone to just get over it is like one of the least constructive ways of dealing with someone who is like this. Again I don't know what triggered today. It started when I woke up and it continued until now. On and off tears and then an emotional outburst earlier this afternoon. On the plus side that whole thing tired me out and I was able to take a nap for awhile. My mood, although maybe at times not as bad, continued into the evening up until now.

Maybe subconsciously things are bothering me. My sister Mary's birthday is coming up soon and so is the anniversary of her death. Anniversary of my grandma's death is coming up. Always a lot going on in my mind too. Random stuff usually. This is why my blog is a good outlet for me.

I guess the best I can say to myself right now is hang in there. The storm will past and another one will come one day and that will be dealt with and so on and so far. Make the best of what I have right now and focus on that. I do have a lot of good things in my life that I am thankful for. We all fall down sometimes but we have to make sure we pick ourselves up. Oh and don't do anything rash either. The amount of rash ideas I had today would of seriously upset a number of people. Like I thought bout leaving WoW again and giving up my gm position. I thought about walking away from all my friends and such on facebook for awhile. I guess basically just disappearing for awhile. What would that accomplish though? I'd feel more alone then I am right now and I already know that I am not alone anyways so none of that solves anything. Maybe I answered what my problem is by what I just said. My problem ultimately is that I think way too much.

How to turn off the brain though? Walking more maybe? Writing definitely helps. Find something that calms and relaxes me I suppose. I don't like feeling like this but I know that I am the only one who can cure it. I guess I have my next project, working on getting me out of this funk. I am sure it is noticeable to the people who love and care about me and I am sure that they miss The Nick.

I will end this rather depressing and miserable blog with a quote that I like and I really think I somehow need to look past my own bullshit and make it work for me.

“Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain.”



Normally I write my birthday blogs on the day of my birthday but I was busy yesterday and then last night I was drunk. I suppose I could of wrote something while I was drunk, that could of been somewhat entertaining and amusing. I wanted the blog to actually make a little bit of sense, do my blogs make sense at all though? Or is it just me rambling on about life? I don't know but lets talk about the beginning of my 35th year of life.

My birthday started off on a rocky note thanks to my own personal demons. Jealousy is a bitch. It is going to happen though. At least I'll sit here and admit it. First step to working through your issues is admitting that they exist, right? Anyways I am working through it and I worked through it at the time and all is alright for now. No need to really go over this again.

Despite my gout still effecting me I decided to go for a walk to begin my birthday. I am not entirely sure if that was a good or a bad idea. My foot hurt like hell afterwards but when I used ice my foot felt fine and it felt ok for the rest of the day. Glad that my foot problems didn't put a damper on my day at all.

I went to see the new Captain America movie. I was debating if I should go to the movies or not and then said to myself "dude, it is your birthday, you are allowed to go out and enjoy yourself". So I did. Let me say that it was a gorgeous day outside yesterday. I had the windows opened in the car and I was blasting Metallica. I got to the theater and I told the lady what I wanted to see and she gave me a ticket to see Brick Mansions. Um hello, I said Captain America. So since I am such a bad ass I still went to see Captain America despite the fact that I did not actually have a ticket to see it. Oh such a rebel Nick! The movie was really good. To be totally honest I don't even remember the first movie all too well but this one was definitely worth it.

After the movie I decided to go to the cemetery to visit my mom. I felt like I should go see her on my birthday. There is this cross that she gave me for I think it was either Christmas or my birthday and it was one of the last gifts I received from her so it is something that has a significant meaning to me. I often take it with me while traveling. I almost feel like it is some sort of protection and remembrance that she is always watching over me. I don't usually wear it, I will take it with me though when I go places. I was carrying it with me yesterday. So I went to see her yesterday and of course I was getting all teary eyed talking to her. To be honest I talk to her all the time but seeing her grave does bring about a flood of emotions. I talked for a little bit about life and then went on my way home.

My sister Cindy and I decided to go out to Applebees for a birthday dinner. She took me out for dinner. She gave me this really cute card that plays music. It is a cat holding a guitar doing happy birthday. Super cute. Dinner was great. We both had 12 oz sirloin steak with grilled shrimp. Was very good. I would of had my usual mudslide but I had to drive, besides the drinking came later, I'll mention more about that later. It was my choice where I wanted to go out to eat and I had a ton of choices but I've always loved Applebees. Was not disappointed.

Afterwards I went back to my sister's house and hung out for awhile. It was still nice enough to sit outside and blast music. Was really a beautiful day and night. We talked about the old days, music, and other random shit like we always do. She brought out a photo album of old pictures. I was in a few of them. There is one of me standing next to one of my brother's friends whom is wearing a Darth Vader costume. Pretty bad ass. I will have to get some of these on facebook soon. A comment was made at one point during the night about the weather and how perfect the day was and that comment was "God is shining down upon you on your day". Indeed, he was.

I got home and continued the birthday celebration by spending the night playing WoW with my friend Amanda and getting plastered. I am fine today, no hangover. I am tired but hell it was worth it. I am such a lightweight now a days. Doesn't take a lot to get me drunk. Thats good though. I don't need to put the amount of liquor into my body like I was doing years ago. I had fun though. Don't think I really did anything stupid, of course I may not remember it. I just remember randomly dying on my priest a lot last night cause I kinda just didn't care.

Overall it was the best birthday in a long time. I overcame a rocky start to it and it ended up being a great day. Lots of birthday love from friends on facebook and hell even some random people, like my sister's co-workers. Really meant a lot to me. Some people did go out of their way to wish me happy birthday on numerous occasions and that was awesome. I really do have some amazing people in my life. Couldn't of asked for a better day.

So I am at that point in my blog where I usually reflect on the past year and give some sort of theme as to what I want to do in the next year. I've dealt with some of my inner demons resurfacing like negativity and jealousy coming out. I think I can control it pretty well. I mean if anything I can come to my blog and tell myself "hey man, chill the fuck out". I've become a bit more independent. After years of people carting my ass around to drive me places, it is so nice to finally step up and do so on my own. I am sorry to anyone that I've made cart me around all over the place. I love driving and I hope at some point I can plan out some type of road trip. I'd really love to go out west. I've also learned how to feel again in the past year. It is not a bad thing but it is taking some getting use to as I did kinda shut off the feelings for awhile there. All things considered I think I am doing ok with the inner demons. I like the to think that things are only as bad as you let them be so I going to try to continue with that theme.

What do I have planned for the next year? I don't reveal all of my plans. I've been criticized and made to feel like shit in the past when I don't go through with something. Trust me when I say that the best is yet to come. That is my theme for the next year. It can really mean anything to be honest. Me helping out people more, me writing more, maybe me writing a short stories or a series of short stories, etc. The possibilities are endless of what might change in the next year. It is rather exciting to not know for sure what I am going to come up with in the next year. It is going to be great though, I just know it will be. I will say this, I feel like I am at my best when helping others or I am writing. When helping others in the past I've had a tenancy to throw it back in their face, "well I did this for you what are you doing to do for me?". I don't do that anymore. When I help someone it is because I like knowing that I've made somewhat of a difference or impact in someone's life. Whether it be in small ways or in a big way. So that is my focus for the next year along with stuff that I will not mention now.

So happy birthday to me! Enjoy the rest of your birthday weekend, you do deserve it.


Chinese food? Yes please!

I actually started this blog last night but decided that sleep sounded like a better idea. It was a better idea. Think I slept for like seven hours totally. I don't even remember what I was writing about cause I totally scrapped the blog but I have plenty to say so here I go.

Gout is still bothering me a bit. Today was the first time since Saturday that I put on shoes and walked outside. Putting on a shoe though, ouch! It is not as bad though as it was over the past week but still it is an annoyance. It was also nice to be outside again. Been awhile. Be nice if I could of done so without needing the winter jacket but hey this is typical Wisconsin spring weather.

Got my haircut today. Its been awhile since I had it cut. I had a mini afro going on. I just would wear one of my beanie caps wherever I went. I didn't reshave my head. I decided that I am going to go for the classic Nick look. Shaved sides and spiky hair. Yes I was told that I should grow my hair out. Damn it Nick, what did I tell you about listening to people! Don't do it!

Birthday is tomorrow. Yes celebration time! I shall go out around town in search for midgets and redheads. Ok not really. I do have a few things planned. Nothing overly exciting. Was hoping to go to the zoo this weekend but the weather looks like it is going to be shitty with the exception of my birthday. Thats good though, the most important day of the year should have decent weather. To be honest, my birthday should be considered a national holiday. Ha, right Nick! I do have a birthday blog planned for tomorrow though. I do this every year. I must think of awesome stuff to say.

So I forgot about some big news. My friends Kenny and Mary are eventually getting married. They met online through me. Mary moved back to Florida after getting out of jail and they started dating. Mind you I've known Mary about 13 years and Kenny for about 5 years or so, I've never actually met either of them in real life. Mary is one of my closest friends, and knows more about me then a lot of people do. Anyways, Kenny asked me to be his best man. I agreed. I should of warned him that half of the weddings I've been to lately end up in a divorce. Nah they will be fine. I am happy to be a part of it. Plus I get to go back to Florida for a little bit. I miss it there, well kinda.

Pre-birthday dinner for me tonight is Chinese food. Yes! I love fried rice. In fact I want to marry a Chinese woman just so I can be like "bitch go make me some fried rice". Most guys would say the key to his heart is by showing him boobs, I would have to say the key to my heart is by making me some fried rice. I'm totally kidding btw, geez people don't take me too seriously.

And that is all for now.


How to be a gm

When running a guild on WoW there are a few things that every guild master should know and should do their best to follow them. Since I've played the role of gm in various different games I have lots of experience. Recently however I was schooled on how to run a guild properly. Apparently I've been doing it wrong for years. I will share with you all about what I have learned.

Step 1: Practice Makes Perfect: Any great gm should be a stripper in real life. Get a stripper pole installed in your house and make sure you have it in front of the webcam so you can do shows over the internet for your current officers and anyone else you are trying to get to help you with your guild. What is more helpful is if you make a recruitment video and include some video of you on the stripper pole. This certainly helps if you are a female gm, but don’t leave anyone out! I am sure some ladies and gay men would like to see a man dancing around on a stripper pole too. If you think it is necessary then prostitution is another option. Now, some of your guildies could end up becoming attached to you if you choose to be a prostitute and too many attachments can cause issues.

Step 2: Guild Name. Your guild name MUST be an acronym. The more retarded the better. I won't use any specific examples of a retarded name but one we had come up with was DSP. Dirty Stripper Porn. The name totally goes along with the fact that you, as the gm, are a stripper an most likely a whore. So why not give it a name that is closely related to what you do?

Step 3: Finding a co-gm. Usually someone that you think you are close to. They are pretty knowledgeable about the game and they will work their ass off running the guild for you because frankly, running a guild sucks. All you really want to do is log on and pvp, but you want to have the power of the gm title, so you make everyone else do the work. In time, you will be jealous of your co-gm because everyone always loves the co-gm more. Your jealousy will eat you up. You will think of an elaborate plan in hopes that one day your co-gm gets sick of things and ends up going off and starting their own guild.

Step 4: Plot. Before the co-gm leaves, a number of things MUST happen. While he/she is trying to do the best they can to help run the guild, you must stop them at every turn. Remember, you are the one with the power, they are insignificant to you. They will suggest a ton of things that should be done in the guild, but you need to ignore it (pretend to ignore this, you will need it later in step 7). They ultimately just want to take over the guild so be sure to stand strong and reject everything. They will suggest new officers for the guild, DO NOT take their suggestions seriously, because the only reason they are suggesting said person is because they have feelings for them. You don't want a co-gm that is falling for one of your fellow guild members and no longer trying to work with you, because, let’s face it, it’s not like you are listening to them anyway… right? While all this is happening, make sure you have your next co-gm picked out. This is the one that you can relate to, the one you specifically recruited with your videos (Step 1 in being a GM). Because of your recruitment efforts, they will be loyal to you because they are hoping for a private show one day. This co-GM should be someone who is high all the time and just doesn't really know what is going on, ever. Remember, you really do not like the original choice for co-gm. Must get them to leave AT ALL COSTS!

Step 5: The Struggle: Your guild may struggle for a bit but there are ways you can help people out. First off, never log on ventrilo. If you log on there then you could be attacked or asked questions that frankly you don't have the time to answer, hell you may not even have an answer at all, but you don’t want to admit that to anyone, you need time for excuses. Remember, all you want to do is pvp and forget about running a guild, you don't have time for bullshit that really does not matter. Unless it has something to do with pvp, pot, stripping or prostitution, it doesn’t concern you. Hand out lots of gold to other guild members from your own bank, NOT the guild bank. People love being handed gold, who cares if they need help running stuff for gear or maybe they need someone to make them a piece of particular gear, gold will solve all the problems. Then you need to boast about how you have helped everyone out so much by handing out nothing but gold. It helps to have a lot of gold in the game. I suggest selling your stripper shows for gold.

Step 6: Betrayal. One thing you must do that may totally work for getting rid of your co-gm is inviting someone back to the guild whom they have had issues with. Pay close attention to who your co-gm complains about and take note if the person they complain about ever leaves the guild or gets kicked from the guild by your co-gm. Make sure you befriend this person THIS IS A MUST for success. You are a little bit upset that this person left or has to leave the guild. Remember to stay in contact with this person. You may need them at some point to rejoin the guild to set the wheels in motion to get the co-gm to leave.

Step 7: Implementing anything the old co-gm suggested. This next one is important. When the asshole co-gm, that everyone loves, leaves, start doing everything that he/she suggested. When I say everything I totally mean EVERYTHING. Everything that he/she suggested was right, but you wanted that person out of the guild. Now it is time to put all together and you have to TAKE FULL CREDIT for all the ideas. Add more officers so you can focus your attention on stripping, prostitution and pvping. Make sure you promote people that you talked shit about behind their backs. You MUST gain their trust, if it ever comes out that shit was talked they won't believe it because you are so awesome to them (Step 5 handing out your own gold helps with this).

Step 8: Friendships: Some close friends of your ex co-gm will probably still be in the guild. Make sure that you remove the one that is closest to the ex co-gm, but don't tell them about it first. If they ask about it, just say “we figured you were going to leave anyways.” As to the other friends you did not remove, expect them to stay because you are now going to be the BEST raiding guild on the server… Oh and regardless of how the co-gm left the guild or anything that has been said, you need to put that person on block IMMEDIATELY! Make sure to remove them from Facebook as well as the people you removed from guild, but keep the ex co-gm’s friends on the page, they are still part of your guild… for now.... DO NOT remove your former co-gm from your guild webpage, frankly forget about that page, you haven’t logged on it in 5 months anyways. 

Step 9: Accusations. When the co-gm leaves the guild, he/she may go out quietly. Don't believe this. They are plotting against you and will befriend and poach your members (remember, the ones left in Step 8). Put a stop to the poaching at all costs. Lie if you have to. Make sure your guildies know that this person left because of reasons that were untrue. Use the fact that you wouldn't make someone that they are close to an officer. “Yeah that is the real reason why they left, their feelings were hurt.” Make sure you tell everyone to watch out for poaching (again the friends left in Step 8). When the friends of the former co-gm leave… TAKE IT TO THE FORUMS! Tell everyone that the new guild is “poaching” their own friends (some real life friends) from your guild. Also, make sure you talk to everybody that leaves. You need to know why they left and then warn them that the GM (your former co-gm) is a two faced backstabber, even though you spent most your time talking shit about the person you are warning. Insult the ex co-gm AT ALL COSTS. People won't go to that guild if you insult them and insist that they two faced. Make sure that you also have a few people spy and/or put characters in that guild. They are going to have to befriend your enemy, but you need all the information that you can on how that guild is running and who is in the guild. The more info you have the better.

Step 10: The Finishing Touches: Schedule 2-3 raids a week. You are a raiding guild now, you can’t be caught dead in LFR. Get 15-19 of your guildies (the people you have spent the better part of 3 months talking shit about) and hop into Flex 1, all 3 days, eventually you will down something… Right? Move on to flex 2, all 3 days… one day you will get down the 3rd boss… Maybe?  then Flex 3… 2.5 hours on the first boss… he went down... eventually… This is when you need to set up your DKP (Dragon Kill Points, or points towards gear upgrades) because, well, you need to be prepared, even though Flex is on a roll system with random loot per person. OH! and new raid rules, you need those too… but I can go over that in another post later.  

Now that you have done all of this you are ready to run a successful, hardcore, raiding guild.

You’re welcome. I am here all week for advise.


Zombie Jesus Day!

Happy Zombie Jesus day! Oh sorry, it technically is called Easter. So happy Easter! What a sucky day it has been. Health wise at least, mood wise I can't complain all too much I suppose. Being in a somewhat decent mood kinda just makes everything better despite the fact that I am in pain at the moment.

My gout has been acting up a lot more today. Really sucks. I am walking funny. Maybe this is what I get for laughing at people who are walking funny for various reasons. Wait, I don't do that! I am not an asshole. The fact that I live upstairs makes things more difficult. But I am managing the best I can. At least my mood is keeping my mind off of the pain for the most part.

This gout stuff started for me a long time ago...in a galaxy far far away, cue the Star Wars music. Sorry. Back in the summer of 06 I was going to have the house to myself for an entire week. My father was going out to Utah with my sisters. This was my first bout with gout, that I can remember at least. I got the double whammy though. I had it in both of my big toes. Yeah, it sucked. Really sucked. I was taking care of the house by myself and I literally could not walk at all. I survived though, obviously, or I wouldn't be writing this blog now. Wait, am I really writing this. Maybe it is my ghost telling someone else what to write. Again, don't mind me. Good mood and weird mood.

We were suppose to go by my brother's house for Easter but that didn't work out. I can't walk straight and my father is well being my father. He hasn't really been feeling all too great either. He is just getting over a gout flair up and he just overall is not feeling right. He thinks he has a urinary tract infection. Poor guy, it is always something with him. It was such a beautiful day outside today too. It was in the 70s and I couldn't enjoy it cause of my stupid gout problem. Oh well. Nicer days are coming up I suppose, right? We decided to heat up the stuffed shells that we had sitting in the basement for our dinner tonight. Then my sister Kathy brings over a bunch of food from my brother's house. So I had stuffed shells, couple of polish sausage, piece of ham, and a deviled egg. Yeah great combo Nick. Seriously dude stop eating like shit. Oh don't worry, I am going to start that soon. Walking was the first step, changing my eating habits again is the next one. Wasn't a total washout of Easter considering all that is going on. Still had some good food.

I've been struggling this month with things but I think I am getting a better grip on it. Just gotta keep at it and keep moving forward. Looking back and thinking negative just does no good. Things aren't perfect in my life but they aren't bad and I have some really awesome people in my life that I know would do anything for me. That in itself is a good feeling. My birthday is coming up at the end of the week, I should make this week, a week long celebration of my life. Celebrate the Nick. He may not be perfect, he may be an asshole at times, but he has a good heart and is loving and caring and most of all he is one awesome motherfucker. I think I deserve a week long celebration. Who wants to disagree with me on that?