I've been meaning to write a blog about my friend Mary and I haven't so I am going to take the time to write a few of my feelings about a current situation that she is in. Me and Mary have been friends for about 12 years. Yeah it has been an online friendship but over the years and especially within the last year we have spent a lot of time talking to each other, telling each other things we don't tell other people, hanging out playing games together, and generally poking fun at the rest of the world. Some of the things she says is off the wall and I think it is mainly just for the shock factor. Sorta similar to what I do at times. Anyways this current situation she is in has left me a bit unsettled. I will explain.

Mary has been with her current husband for 8 years, married for a few years. Things seemed to be ok until recently. She had found out that he was/is/has been cheating on her. Of course from the sounds of it, it seems like he is blaming her for all of it. Typical. People don't like to take responsibility for their own actions so they decide to place blame on the other person. He despite his verbal abuse wanted to work things out or whatever and she just decided that she wanted to be done with it. Which I understand. I mean if she wasn't getting verbally abused then yeah maybe you can work it out but you know it doesn't guarantee things would work out if there was no abuse going on.

What I didn't know is that there was more then just verbal abuse going on. He was also beating her. There is a picture on her mom's facebook of her having a cut right by her eye. According to her mom's facebook he was detained and then released for domestic violence. This is the first fail in this entire situation. He had hit her and he was released.

2 weeks ago while on voice chat I could hear her husband in the background in his drunken state constantly bothering Mary and yelling at Mary. There was one point before the voice chat where on facebook he was accusing Mary of being a whore and sleeping with all of her internet friends which included me. He had apparently even said to her that he was going to kill all of her friends and then kill her. Great guy right? Oh it gets better.

I had feared something was going to happen to her as I observed what was going on in the house while listening to it over voice chat well on the night of May 16th my worries were confirmed. Mary's therapist had called and he was yelling at her while on the phone and her therapist was about to call the cops on him. Mary convinced her not to but her therapist said if she calls back and he is still yelling at her that she would call the cops. So Mary was trying to tell him to stay away from her or he is going to end up going to jail. He would listen at first but then try to convince her that she needed to talk to him and she kept telling him that she did not want to talk to him. He kept insisting and finally he started screaming and yelling like he normally does but this time he gets on the voice chat and said something like "I hope I am amusing you all since I am so fucking funny". Then Mary gets disconnected from steam.

Hours pass and Mary comes back online and she tells me that he is sitting in jail. He was arrested because he had attempted to kill her. When he picked up the mic to talk on voice chat he apparently had punched her in the stomach and then proceeded to try to strangle her to death. She attempted to defend herself by grabbing a knife and attempted to stab him to get him away. There are no cuts or whatnot that happened to him. Yes I have to mention that cause it does come into play later on. Mary was really shaken at what had happened and well she was intending on moving back to Florida to be with her family but due to her wanting to take care of a few things before leaving she was sticking around in Colorado. I thought that maybe this would be a sign of a good turn of events to get her out of there and away from him. I did not expect what was about to happen.

Mary for the past 2 weeks has been sitting in jail. That is right, the cops came back and arrested her. She is facing 3 felony charges and a misdemeanor. The major charge though is a 2nd degree attempted murder charge. Yes somehow her drunken asshole husband managed to convince them that she had provoked him so they came back and arrested her and now she is facing serious charges. The main thing that I have not mentioned until now is that he is in the military. I don't want to say that they are giving him special treatment cause he is military and they need him so they can ship it out to afghan but after everything that I have mentioned it certainly does seem like he is getting special treatment cause of his positioning. Mary in the worst case scenario could face at least 10 years in prison. Supposedly she might enter in a plea bargain or something and the jail time might get eliminated.

Up until now I have been kinda quiet about how I feel about this whole thing. I realize that there are two sides to every story but in my opinion as soon as a man lays his hands on a woman and beats her ass and tries to strangle her to death he is no longer a man. He is a spineless worthless piece of shit. I don't care to hear his side of the story. As a man you never lay your hands on a woman in any situation. As far as I am concerned this son of a bitch has no rights whatsoever for what he has done to my friend. First he cheats on her then he verbally abuses her then goes to physical abuse and then tries to strangle her to death and she is the one sitting in jail. Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck is wrong with this scenario? What I get out of this entire thing is if someone is beating you or trying to kill you the best solution is that you just let them kill you cause the moment you defend yourself you put yourself at risk for getting in trouble. This whole thing just really makes me sick. My faith in humanity has taken a major hit in recent weeks just because of this. Should I be afraid that if for some reason I get jumped or something and I go to defend myself I might get in trouble for it? That is bullshit. Remember what I had said about there were no cuts or anything on him? How the hell do they get this she is charged with attempted 2nd degree murder bullshit? Absolutely fucking ridiculous. Her husband's name is James. James a specific message just for you and it is quite simple, karma is a bitch.

Until this all gets resolved I will continue to show support for my friend Mary. Like I said at the beginning of my blog she may be off the wall with things she says and whatnot but I know that the shit she is being charged with and could face jail time for is absolutely ridiculous. I know that in the end this will work out in her favor but for her to go through this shit is terrible. You are in my thoughts and prayers Mary.



Figured it was time for a new blog. It is a warm and humid day outside today and we are sitting in air conditioning. See knew this was gonna happen. Go from shitty weather to humid weather. We can't leave the house open when it starts getting too warm cause it bothers my father a lot. That is ok because by the time it reaches 70 outside it starts getting way too warm upstairs and I blast my a/c unit. Enough about that though, time to talk about the happenings in the past week.

Last weekend spent quite a bit of time cleaning and I finally organized the upstairs a bit again. I don't even want to mention the last time I cleaned cause well it is kinda sad. No one ever goes upstairs though besides me so whom am I trying to impress anyways? Still it was long overdue for a decent cleaning. I want to do some further rearranging and whatnot but I am not entirely sure what I want to do.

Memorial day we had a get together at the house. I invited everyone and even invited my cousins. I usually only see my cousins when there is a funeral or a wedding and well I'd like to change that which is why I invited them over. Monday was a shitty day outside weather wise. When I had originally planned for a barbecue the weather was suppose to be sunny and in the 60s. Well it ended up being in the 50s with wind, clouds, and on and off rain. Not ideal cookout weather but whatever. Made way too much food and people brought stuff over. We are still eating the leftovers. I had a bit to drink on Monday too. I don't get drunk very often anymore. Usually maybe once a year. The thing I don't like about getting drunk is feeling like shit the next day. No I didn't have a hangover but I just felt dead to the world on Tuesday. Anyways though it was great to have people over and see everyone. I enjoy having people over. When it is just me and my dad here he drives me nuts. At least with other people around he can drive other people nuts.

Today I reached 70 days in a row of walking. I am going to be honest that some mornings it is extremely hard for me to get out of bed and decide to go for a walk. I still do it though. It is just something that has become a part of my daily routine. If I am proud of anything that I do it is the fact that I have had enough dedication to continue to walk every day. I want to do more then what I am doing though and I will in the upcoming months. I am going to stick to my goals of losing weight and trying to eat better.

May was a pretty busy month party wise and just other stuff going on and June is shaping up to be a busy month too. Going to the Dells with my father next week then we have another party to go to next weekend. Then you have father's day and at the end of the month is concert season at Summerfest. It is ok though, I want to stay busy. The busier the better.

I do have other things to talk about but I will leave that for the next blog. Hopefully be up by tomorrow.



I was outside earlier looking at the full moon and I said to myself that it was time to do some writing and update everyone on some of the latest happenings in life. It has been awhile since I wrote anything. Not that I didn't want to write just you know things have been some what busy in the last couple of weeks. So here I go. Sorry if this ends up being a novel but hell by now I think people should be use to it, right?

Up to 64 days in a row of walking. Pretty good huh? I haven't really lost any weight but that is cause my dieting has sorta sucked as of late. The important thing though is I am not gaining any weight either. I have found the key to keeping me from gaining weight. Awesome. Now why the hell did I not have this years ago? That would of just solved so many problems.

My sister got married last week and then had her reception last weekend. It was nice. It was really good to see some people again. Old friends and family. I rarely ever see my cousins. When I was younger I use to see them all the time. I know as people get older you usually don't see people unless it is at weddings and funerals. Well you know things can be changed right? I did a little bit of drinking at the wedding. Typically I don't drink so I am not surprised that I did end up drunk. I was mostly buzzed until we got home. When I got home is when it all hit me at once and oh was I feeling good! My first time drunk in a very long time. At least things have changed and I no longer feel like I should get drunk to feel happy. Anyways to try to keep up with seeing family more I decided to invite my cousins over for a Memorial Day cookout. Originally I wasn't going to have much at all and now we are going to have a ton of people over. I don't mind though. The more the merrier.

My niece Kimberly graduated from high school. This just makes me feel old. So now out of 3 nephews and 2 nieces both my nieces and one of my nephews are out of high school. You know what would be great? If we could stop the aging process. I suppose though you only look as old as you feel. That is a mixed bag for me. Some days I feel old and some days I don't so whatever. Congratulations to my niece for graduating high school. Good luck in college.

My father was given a good bill of health. I can't say a clean bill cause he still has some issues but the doctor told him today that he is ok until at least September. Which is good. One less thing for me to worry about. Ok so not everything is perfect but I think everyone knows what I mean. He was also cleared to go on vacation if he wants to so we wasted no time in planning a trip to Wisconsin Dells. Can't wait! Last time we were there was back in Sept of 2011.

I have other things to talk about but I am going to stop there. Oh by the way referring to my last blog, well the one before the dream related one. The one about the ceiling fan going by itself. I decided to test the theory about the air/heat kicking in and causing the fan to move by itself at a constant speed. Yeah the theory of that being possible doesn't work. The fan does not move at all which I kinda suspected cause the fan is much higher in the air then the vents. So why the fan was moving on its own is still a mystery.

Anyways be back with another blog soon, hopefully.

A graduation to remember

Weird dreams are nothing new for me. This is why I started a dream journal in the first place. I'll be honest I haven't had many interesting dreams since I started that journal but there is one and I definitely have to share it with you all. It happened a few weeks back so I will try to remember it the best I can.

I was at school with my mom and I am pretty sure it was the last day of school. I was a bit distracted cause I was suppose to go see Metallica with my friends later on that night. My mom was reminding me to completely clean out my locker and that we had to go to some sort of graduation assembly. I didn't want to go but I guess I really had no choice. I am not entirely sure if I am suppose to be graduating or not.

We go to this assembly and there is this blonde chick with glasses talking to us at the assembly. She is an older lady. She also won't shut the hell up. I am unsure of what she is trying to tell us because I really am not paying attention. I notice people that I know like old friends from high school and whatnot. My mom is also there with me.

The lady then asked all of us to sit around in a big circle cause we all needed to bond more. Sorta like a therapy session I suppose. She also wanted us to sit on some sort of device. I look at my device and it is a white piece of plastic that has a needle attached to it. I am thinking to myself what the hell. This is going to hurt if I sit on it. So I try sitting on it and the needle is going into my ass and it hurts quite a bit. The lady insists that we all sit on these devices though. So I manage to somehow maneuver the device to where the needle isn't sticking in my ass.

As we are sitting in this circle the lady is telling us to express our feelings. So a bunch of people start arguing and calling each other assholes. A lot of people are being downright rude. Then next to me are two couples that are both gay men. One of the couples is just making out with each other but the couple that is next to me are attempting to perform oral sex on each other but they have them self covered up so people can't see what they are doing even though it is obvious. Then kinda keep bumping into me and I am just sitting there trying to stay away from them because for some reason I am really afraid that they are going to end up getting something on me. Like I guess one of the guys was close to orgasm. Yeah don't think I need to explain more why I was freaking out. Then across from me was this girl who was wearing a cat suit. She looked like Cat Woman from Batman. Anyways she was masturbating and really getting into it. I am just sitting there staring at everything going on thinking to myself what the fuck is going on here.

Next thing I remember is being by my mom again and it is the morning after. We are walking and I believe we are on a hill and the sun is shining brightly. I apparently missed my concert that I was suppose to go to. The last thing I remember about the dream is my mom saying to me "I told you that it would last all night".

Gotta love those weird dreams right?


They're here!

Yesterday I was watching the movie Poltergeist. I haven't watched the movie in years. Well it seems like it has probably been years. As a young kid this was one of my favorite movies. Still one of my favorite movies to date. The sequels however I won't watch them. It is not that I think that they are bad or anything. They aren't as good as the first movie of course. The old man in the sequels really use to freak me out as a kid. I believe I use to have nightmares about that dude. He was creepy, no doubt about that. Don't know who has seen the 3rd movie but there is this part where they are in this highrise building and he ends up becoming like a giant and yeah it is just creepy. The night that I saw Poltergeist 3 I kept picturing him hoovering into the sky. Yeah I did not sleep much that night. Anyways Poltergeist is a great movie. The sequels are alright but the original is a classic. I was thinking to myself after watching the movie that our house in particular had been quiet with any paranormal activity. I should stop thinking stuff like that to be honest.

The problem with Hollywood movies is they overdo the hauntings and that ghosts in my opinion to make them seem much more scarier then they should be. Of course this makes sense. They want to scare people and the more scared people are the more they will go back and see the movie. Yes I know there are all kinds of crazy ghost stories throughout the years, possessions, exorcisms, etc but in most cases what you see in Hollywood is just to scare the crap out of people. Blair Witch Project in my opinion is a brilliant horror movie. You don't see what it is that is hunting and scaring them but throughout the movie you get the sense of how terrified that they are and that there is probably no possible way out of their situation. You never see what is haunting them. This is why the movie effected me a lot. Throughout the years in my experiences with strange noises and whatnot it is very rare for me to see what is actually there. This is why the Blair Witch Project was brilliant. You use your imagination as to what it is that is tormenting them. This applies to real life situations in the case of hauntings and ghosts because the majority of the time we know a ghost may be there but we don't see it. The first Paranormal Activity I felt was really good at this too. You never actually see anything but the noises and whatnot are there. Then bam at the end of the movie you finally see the chick possessed after she throws her boyfriend across the room. After that movie Paranormal Activity lost some steam though cause they kept with the same formula and by the 4th movie you just expect something crazy to happen. Don't take Hollywood movies about ghosts and whatnot so seriously though cause like I said in most cases it is greatly exaggerated.

Getting back to the activity in my house. For some time now it is usually directed at my father. On occasion I will hear something or see something out of the corner of my eye but my father has experiences with what he says is someone grabbing his arm in the middle of the night, his chair or bed being shaked, the light in the bedroom constantly turns on and off by itself, etc. I have seen the light in his bedroom do this on a few occasions. Usually if I walk to the bathroom I will look in there and see the light quickly flicker on and off. It is just something I just come to expect on occasion. I can go on and on about some of the stuff that has happened in this house but I would be repeating myself from earlier blogs.

Today is my sister Mary's birthday. It is coming up on four years since she has passed away. Usually around birthdays or holidays I expect something to happen in this house. The month of May in the past couple of years have been active ones. I should keep my equipment nearby during this month. Anyways I have been sleeping on the couch in the living room the past few nights, change of scenery I guess. It was around 12:30 in the morning or so when I decided to lay down to go to sleep. I had just shut my eyes and I hear my cat Loco screwing around with something by the tv. I decided to open up my eyes and see what she was doing. This is when I saw the ceiling fan on that side of the room slowly moving like it was on a low speed. I thought that was weird cause normally the fan is turned off at night and I had assumed it was off before I even went to bed. I laid there for like a minute or two before deciding to get up to investigate. Sure enough the switch was off. I was like what the hell, why is the fan spinning by itself if it is turned off. There are no windows open in the living room at night. I suppose if the heat turned on from the air vents if the current was strong enough it could make the fan move but I have never seen that fan spin by itself as a result of any kind of air coming out of the air vents. The air vents are on the floor anyways and the fan is well on the ceiling. Plus the speed that that fan was going at was consistent as if it was on or someone was pushing it along. So yeah the fan could be possibly explained but in this house you have to keep an open mind and expect that it could be something else at work here. Anyways I stayed up and I am sitting here at the laptop and then sometime later I hear some noise that sounds like someone is messing with a jacket somewhere near the kitchen. Don't really know what it was. Almost sounded like a jacket being dragged on the floor. I never went into the other room to investigate. Some time passes and then my cat Loco is laying on the couch and she keeps constantly steady staring at the ceiling. Animals can sense things that people can not. At that point it was late and I was tired so I just was like whatever and decided to go to bed.

This morning when I wake up I decided to talk to my father about what happened. I ask him if he experienced anything weird last night and he said no. Then he says oh yeah the other day while you were upstairs the tv in Mary's old room was on. He was like all of a sudden I hear a bunch of people talking and I go into that room and the tv is on. So yeah apparently the tv in my sister's old room decided to turn on by itself the other day. Maybe I should get a reality show started about people attempting to stay the night in my sister's old room? Never know, it might be a hit!

I don't pass everything as being paranormal. I do try to think of logical reasons why things happen in this house but sometimes there are things that just can't really be explained. Of course it is easy to get paranoid and think everything is paranormal in nature but I do try to think of a logical reason for all of it. I still think ghosts just like this house or in general like me because I tend to pay more attention to this stuff then a normal person would. This is why I have more experiences then a lot of people. Maybe someone is finally trying to tell me that I need to dig deeper into the paranormal like join a group or something? Either way I will just end the blog by saying the famous catchphrase from the first Poltergeist. "They're here"!


The Day Metal Cried

The heavy metal community suffered a big loss yesterday with the death of Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman. He was only 49 years old. Back in 2011 he got the flesh eating disease and nearly lost an arm. He underwent a few surgeries and other stuff like skin graph. He never fully recovered and he ended up dying from liver failure. It is not exactly clear if him developed the flesh eating disease was the final cause of his death but regardless it is still a loss for the metal community.

I've listened to Slayer since I was a teenager so about 22 years or so. I wouldn't say I am a huge fan of them but I do enjoy a lot of their music. Some of their songs helped me deal with being angry. There were plenty of times when I was anger that I would turn on the song "Raining Blood". When I am angry songs that are aggressive help me deal with my anger. Just like depressing songs help me with depression.

Finding out about Jeff passing away was a bit of a shock to me and yeah it had some effect on me. Yes I did not know the guy in real life but I do think of Slayer as one of my musical influences. I'll be honest the list of my musical influences is pretty long. Some people feel that if they don't know the guy in real life and he is a celebrity then there is no reason to be upset. I see their point in that but it is easy to have someone in music, movies, tv, etc be an influence to you even if you don't really know them in real life. This is why people take it so hard when someone that they have listened to for a long time passes away. Honestly this is the first death in music that made me really stop and think wow they really won't be around playing music anymore. I was a bit upset when I had heard the news and I'll admit to shedding a tear or two when on the Revolver Golden Gods awards they were sharing stories and dedicating stuff to Jeff Hanneman. Life goes on though and ultimately people die everyday and we can not escape it. Instead of mourning remember whatever greatness the person did when they were alive.

Music has lost some great people in the past few years. Well in general. Think back to even before I really was into music. Jimi Hendrix back in the day. Jim Morrison. Randy Rhodes from Ozzy when I was like three years old. 1986 Cliff Burton the bassist from Metallica was killed in an accident. Even though I did not start listening to Metallica until 1990 I consider Cliff Burton to be one of the best bassist ever. Kurt Cobain in 1994. I liked Nirvana a lot. His death was a huge loss for music. Layne Staley in 2002. Again Alice in Chains was a band that I really liked. Ronnie James Dio a few years ago. I'll be honest I never appreciated how great of a singer Dio was until after he had passed away. Peter Steele from Type O Negative. I've always liked their music. There was just something about his voice and the lyrics to Type O Negative songs that made them enjoyable to listen to. The list does go on and on and on. I can't imagine how I am going to feel when people such as Ozzy Osbourne, Marilyn Manson, Tony Iommi, any of the guys from Metallica, etc all pass away.

For the rest of tonight and for the upcoming days I will honor the legacy of Jeff Hanneman by listening to mainly Slayer. Let us all remember him for his song writing, his guitar playing, and for being the heart of Slayer. RIP Jeff Hanneman.