1/19/2012

Here comes the cold

The month of December I think spoiled us a little bit. It was unusually mild and we barely had any snow. That sort of thing never stays for a long period of time here though. It is like mother nature toys with us. She gives us good weather and then starts laughing at us going "hahaha...suckers!".

Last week it was 53 at one point. For January that is really odd. Times have changed since then. Following a snowstorm, well actually 2 snowstorms we are now sitting at a very cold 7 degrees. Tonight it might drop down below 0. That is a big drop from being in the 50s at one point last week. On top of this cold weather we are suppose to get another possible 4-7 inches of snow tomorrow too. Just perfect. It seems like every January I make some sort of post about how cold the weather is and how I wish spring would get here and then a few months later I am complaining about how hot and humid it is. I don't think there is a happy medium for me living in Wisconsin. Living in a temperature controlled bubble seems like the best option at the moment.

One thing I made up my mind about is that people just irritate me. I think it might get worse with age too. I am not sure if I totally agree with that last statement but it does seem that as the days pass by that my tolerance is getting lower and lower. I feel like at times I am only good to have around when it is a convenience for other people. Like when they need a favor, or they need to vent, they are bored, they need something to occupy their time and feel like I am the best choice at the moment, etc. As soon as my use is gone I get tossed aside like a cheap whore. Then when I may want something or whatever I feel like I am either being ignored or talking to a brick wall. I hate talking to brick walls. They don't answer back and I can't really bang my head on one in frustration unless I want a massive headache. Lose lose situation here though. I want to be there for people and you know I don't ask for much in return other then I dunno some acknowledgement from time to time. I guess the point I am trying to make is the more I get used by people the more frustrated I am going to get making it very likely I am just going to ignore people in general. This is just me venting by the way. I am neither right or wrong. This is just how I feel at times.

Really not much else to say right now or if I had anything else to say I really just don't remember it. Until next time stay warm everyone! If you are one of the people who live in a warm state...go to hell!

1/17/2012

The time is now

It seems as if I almost forgot I have a blog. It has been almost 3 months since I last wrote anything. So I have a lot to cover in this one as I catch people up with my life and whatnot. I am quite impressed that in my absence of writing blogs that people are still reading my stuff. In fact in the past 2 and a half months my blog has had like 1,500 page views. I find that remarkable since I haven't wrote anything. So now that I am writing again maybe I can up that mark.

Right off the bat I am going to get the so called 'boring' stuff out of the way. The Packers went 15-1 in the regular season. Pretty remarkable. They won 19 games in a row before losing. The problem is they got to the playoffs and lost in the first row. As a Packer fan of just about 25 years I found myself a bit upset and pissed. Life goes on though. They had a good year and they did bring home a super bowl trophy last February. Some people though really are going nuts about them losing. I say let it go. It is just a game and your life shouldn't be depended on if the Packers win or lose.

Back in November I sorta had what I would call a mental breakdown. Well I don't know if I would call it that exactly but that entire month I was just really crappy. November is usually never a good month for me and this one totally fit right into that category. I didn't really say much to anyone about how I was feeling. I didn't put much on my facebook wall complaining about stuff either. Since I am on my blog though I can talk about it a bit. Pretty much I went spiraling into a deep depression. It probably would of really helped if I had wrote about it but I didn't. I shut myself off from everyone and tried to deal with things mostly on my own. By now you would think I would know that is never a good idea. At one point during that month I was hearing voices again. I am not going to get into this big discussion on how at times when I was younger I use to hear voices. Nothing was really being said to me though. It was pretty much just a lot of loud whispering and it drove me absolutely nuts for an entire week. I know it sounds crazy and some people probably wouldn't believe me and that is fine. People should know though that I have no reason to lie. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I never have, I never will. By the beginning of December I snapped out of it.

I suppose the one thing that may of caused some of this is the fact that I lost my best friend. This is the first time I am even bothering to mention it. I'm not going to get into all of the details either. It really is no one's business to be honest. My entire life though I have had a hard time trusting people. I've been stabbed in the back by people more times then I would like to remember. I really thought I had finally found a true friend who was never going to do that to me. I thought of him like a brother actually. As it turns out most stuff was just total bullshit. He tried to cause a riff between me and Catina and people who have read my past blogs know how much that girl means to me. Not only that but some of the stuff he was saying about me behind my back was pretty bad. I also found out that stuff I was saying to him in private was being said to other people. Personal stuff that I thought I could confide in him. Without confronting him about everything that was being said I decided just to stop talking to him which made him furious. Finally he stopped coming around and told me that the friendship was over. So yeah I lost my best friend but in reality with all the stuff that was going on behind my back I am better off without someone like that in my life. Besides it helped me and Catina to become closer friends.

Star Wars the Old Republic came out. It has been nice reconnecting with old friends and guildies. The game is pretty good. A story driven MMO that is Star Wars. I was the first one in my guild to max level. Go figure. I think everyone figured I was going to be first anyways because I am usually the first one anyways. Of course I got to level 50 too quick and then I suffered from burn out and now a bit of boredom. I shouldn't be bored. I have friends playing the game and I am ready to raid. Problem is I spent so much time and effort raiding on WoW that currently I just don't feel like raiding right now. So now it is basically playing other characters or just not being on the game at all. Minus the bugs and whatnot the game is pretty good.

It is a new year and everyone makes resolutions and whatnot. I tend to try not to do this because I never follow them anyways. Why make one if you don't intend to follow through? I suppose though it is nice to have a set of goals though or attempt to try something new. Usually I just tend to find a phrase to try to live by for the year. I forgot what mine was last year. I assume that if I forgot what it was then I probably did not follow it. With that being said my phrase to live by for the rest of this year is "the time is now". Yep, the title of my blog. It should be self explanatory. As we get older our time runs out for being able to do things and accomplish things or well just getting our life in order. It is 2012 and if this whole Mayan calendar thing is true then the world is going to end in December. I should write a blog specifically for that. I was suppose to a long time ago but I got sidetracked. Anyways pretty much the meaning of the phrase is if I ever plan on getting my life together or you know just enjoying life then the time is now because eventually time is going to run out.

Last thing to talk about before I end this blog. 2011 ended with a big bang. I was walking down the stairs the day before New Years Eve. I had just woken up from a nap so I was out of it. So as I am walking down the stairs I decided it would be cool to miss a few steps. I fell and my ass literally bounced off the last 2-3 stairs. Then I landed right on my ass on the kitchen floor. I sat there on the floor for a bit. My father comes in the kitchen and is like are you alright. I am like yeah I think so. He then asks me what the hell are you doing. Oh I don't know dad I figured it would be fun to fall down the stairs since I hadn't done it in awhile. My ass hurt for awhile. Actually it is still kinda sore in some spots but it is pretty manageable. Guess I wanted to end the year with a big bang.

That is all for now. Hopefully I keep up to date with my writing now. It has been awhile and it rather felt nice to just sit back and write.