My Immortal

I've been wanting to blog to talk about me going to see Evanescence last Friday but I haven't gotten around to it. I'm sitting here with not a lot to do at the moment so I figured now would be as good of a time as any for it. Up until last Friday I hadn't been to a concert in almost 7 years and afterward I totally regretted that cause Friday night made me miss live music a lot.

A little bit of back story first. I didn't start listening to Evanescence until late 2007. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a rocker. Some of my favorite bands include Metallica, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, and Marilyn Manson. Occasionally I listened to random stuff other then the metal and hard rock. I knew of the band Evanescence but I never gave them a chance cause they had a chick lead singer. Pretty retarded reason. I think I didn't listen to a lot of stuff cause I felt like I had to maintain this image of me being a headbanger. I totally don't fit that image anymore to be completely honest. Anyways one of my friends sent me a recording of her singing the song "My Immortal". I found out it was from the band Evanescence. I liked her version of it so I figured I would check the band out. They immediately became one of my favorites. Of course then Amy Lee became my celebrity crush. She is just so beautiful and her voice is amazing. As someone might put it "I have a boner for her". Think she is possibly the longest celebrity crush I've had to. Anyways I was looking forward to their new album to come out. Since it has come out I have been listening to it front to back. Rarely do I listen to an entire album without skipping around. I find myself relating quite a bit to this record with the lyrics and whatnot. In fact as I type this I am listening to the album. So with all of this being said I was anxious to go to the show.

I hadn't been to a show in 7 years and I have never went to a show by myself before. I must admit that I was somewhat nervous and anxious. By the time I got into the eagle's ballroom the first band Rival Sons was on stage. One thing that I have always noticed about supporting acts is if they really aren't that well known of a band you really can't make shit out. They sounded ok though. One thing I did say to myself was damn I have missed seeing live music. The second band that took the stage was The Pretty Reckless. They weren't too bad at all. One highlight out of their set was playing the Audioslave song "Like A Stone". I was like hey I recognize this song. Taylor Momsen, the lead singer of The Pretty Reckless was good eye candy too. She is pretty hot. I guess her dancing around on stage all sexy like kind of helped too. By the time they got off the stage I was all excited cause I knew Evanescence was next.

Before they took the stage there was a sequence of events. One some chick pinched my ass. I have no idea who. I really hope it was a chick to be totally honest cause if it was a guy I feel totally violated. Then I am standing there and I see these two slutty chicks who are about to go on the arena floor. My initial reaction was to say "sluts". Not even like two minutes later they walk up to me and were like excuse me can you take a picture of us. I'm thinking to myself thank you for giving me a good excuse to have to stare at two slutty chicks for a minute or two. I also thought to myself maybe I should ask for a copy of the picture or something so I had new material to masturbate to. It is really good that sometimes I don't say what is on my mind, although I'm sure it might be funny to say that just to see what someone would say in return. After I took the pictures one of the chicks grabbed my arm and said thank you so very much. That was probably the closest I will get to having sex for the rest of this year. I'm not trying to insult myself, I am just being honest.

Few minutes later Evanescence took the stage with the first single off their new album "What you want". As soon as I saw Amy Lee take the stage I had this big ass smile on my face. There was my celebrity crush in the same room/place as me. Think I stood there just smiling for a few minutes. They went on to play a lot of songs off their new album, 8 to be exact. Half the set was new material while the other half of the set was some of their hits and fan favorites. Some bands sound really good on record and then suck live. Evanescence sound amazing live. I think they sound so much better live then they do on records. Not just Amy Lee though, the entire band just sounds like a really tight knit close family up there on stage. Then of course you have Amy Lee who likes to move around all over the stage. She is definitely a rocker chick. They did mix up the songs a bit and Amy got on the piano for quite a few songs. I love how they have songs where she is on piano and yet they totally rock. It was surreal being there. Seeing a band I have listened to for the past few years and performing their songs. During slower songs I admit I had some tears in my eyes and at one point I just kinda took it all in and I was so happy to be there that there were tears of joy. Guess I am an emotional person from time to time and music really does bring it out in me. They played some songs that I was really wanting to hear such as "The Change" and "The Other Side" from their new album. "Bring Me to Life, My Immortal, and Your Star" were some other ones that I really wanted to hear. "Your Star" is my favorite Evanescence song. People may find that weird cause it is not one of their main hits but Amy is on the piano for that song and the song just totally rocks. Her voice is really amazing live. It is so easy just to get lost in the music listening to her sing. The song of the night had to of been "My Immortal". That song always triggers emotions for me. I am not sure I have ever listened to that song and not shed a tear. The crowd really got into that song and sang along with her. We were pretty damn loud too. Their set was only 70 minutes long but I think those 70 minutes were some of the best 70 minutes of my life. I wish I could relive it. Anyone who is a fan of Evanescence be sure to check them out live, you will not be disappointed.

To end this blog I will leave you all with the set list from the show and two videos from the night. The last two songs. "Your Star" and "My Immortal". Enjoy.

What You Want
Going Under
The Other Side
Weight of the World
The Change
Made of Stone
Lost in Paradise
My Heart Is Broken
Call Me When You're Sober
Bring Me to Life

Your Star
My Immortal


Another tour of my room!

Boredom? Nah. I actually cleaned my rooms and wanted to make another video of it!


I'm so in love with...cheese

Totally random blog title. Maybe to get me to like laugh or something. I'm pretty sure that this blog will have nothing to do with cheese. Although I must say that I do love eating cheese. Cheese curds ftw. Oh my God, I totally want some cheese curds now. Seriously though the title is totally random. Anything else I could of thought of for the moment would of been depressing or emo seeing as how my moods have been out of whack still. I figured I'd try to fight my own demons with humor. Usually works.

I've had a migraine for what seems like days now. I keep popping pills and it does help somewhat but otherwise it has been pretty steady. I hate it. Maybe one day I should go to a doctor? Nah Nick, that makes way too much sense and we all know that Nick does not do things that make sense.

Boring section of my blog incoming...so the Packers are now 6-0. Only undefeated team left in the league. I don't even think they are playing to their full potential either which is the scary part. They play the Vikings next who just got crushed by the Bears last night. Should go into their bye week with a 7-0 record. Woot.

Brewers disappointed me. It is awesome that they got to the NLCS but they totally fell apart against the Cardinals. Everyone keeps saying that they had a great year and they should be proud of themselves but I am more critical. If you get a chance to go to the World Series you need to go in there and do what you have to do to win not throw the games away. 7 errors in 2 games is unacceptable for a professional baseball team.

Ok boring sports talk over with. Me and Catina finished all of the episodes of True Blood. Like that show a lot tbh. Glad she got me into watching the show. A lot of deaths in season 4 though. Has me curious as to what is going to happen in the next season, so curious that I started trying to find spoilers already. Season 5 is still like 8 months away though. In the meantime we started watching Grey's Anatomy together. Only 3 episodes in and the show definitely has my attention. Looks like it will be a show I can totally get into. It is kinda nice to have someone to watch shows with other then my father of course.

I've been in my own little world as of late. A lot of different emotions and feelings. I need to get back on track this week though. That is my goal for this week. Starting off with my exercising. I intend on dragging my ass out later for a walk. I have not done that in a pretty long time. It is a good excuse to bring my camera with me and take some pictures of the fall colors. May as well take advantage of it while I can because I am not sure if we are going to go to Door County to see the fall colors this year. Either way the goal for me this week is to get back on track and that starts with exercising.

Ozzy has a double ear infection. Poor cat. Me and my father are really being bad about putting the ear drops in his ears too. Although I don't see him like scratching his head or making weird movements with his head due to his ears. He was doing that quite a bit before we took him to the vet. So hopefully he is improving.

Going to see Evanescence on Friday. I am excited to go. It has been forever since I went to a show though. I really do like their new album quite a bit. I've been playing the hell out of it since it came out last Tuesday. Some of the songs though trigger some emotions for me. That happens with most music for me anyways. Nothing wrong with getting all emotional anyways!

I'm taking ideas for life lessons with the Nick videos btw.

I suppose that is it for now. See this blog totally had nothing to do with cheese!


October Rust

Typically October is one of my favorite months. The weather gets cooler, the leaves change colors, and of course Halloween. How can someone not like Halloween? I think I like Halloween just cause all the horror movies they put on. The past few years though my mood around this time a year hasn't been very consistent. My moods have been off. This year is no exception.

Let me start off with some positive. I cleaned my rooms! Oh my God! Miracles do happen! It took me awhile but my rooms actually look pretty decent. I would actually be happy to have people over to come over and chill. I am not totally done though. I want to hang up posters and whatnot in my other room. Make my room look more home like or go for the bachelor pad look when I had my own place in Florida. All I know is that it is nice to walk upstairs and walk into my room and it look so clean! It is a good feeling.

Next week I go see Evanescence. First concert for me in nearly 7 years and it will be the first time I am going to one by myself. Bit scary but I can handle it. Their new album came out yesterday. I was going to go buy the album but they have it on spotify where I can listen to it whenever I want to. So I played the hell out of it yesterday. I like the album. A lot of the songs seem to talk about heart break and losing someone you love. Fun stuff.

My moods have been really unstable lately. I can't really pinpoint a direct cause either. I go from being happy to sitting here crying, hating my life, hating the world, wanting to punch someone in the face, etc. Nothing really triggers it, I don't think anything does at least. The majority of the time though I just shut down and don't say anything to anyone until I snap out of it or I just think to myself ok this is ridiculous to feel like this so let's work on improving it. The one person who helps me the most through this is Catina. I can't really put into words how awesome she is and how much she does mean to me. I sorta just mellow out when I talk to her. I forget all of my troubles and I guess I just try to enjoy every moment I get to talk to her. None of us really know what tomorrow brings so why is the use in feeling like crap or blah when you are talking to someone whom you really care about. Enjoy your time together the best you can cause you don't know what tomorrow may bring. Anyways I figure if I was able to talk to her 24/7 life would be just perfect but I realize that is not really possible. I am just going to have to find a way to stable my moods when I am not talking to her. I guess though this should really show how much she does mean to me. I could totally be feeling like shit and my mood changes drastic. When people like that come into your life don't let them get away cause these people are special.

Btw, I <3 you Catina. One day I will totally write a blog about Sheepfucker and Towelhead. Yeah ok if you are reading this and you aren't Catina don't ask lol.

Going to the foot doctor in a few hours. I mainly just go to get my toe nails clipped. Hell if I can do that on my own. Fat people trying to bend over to reach stuff just does not work out too well. It is also like holding a cake in front of a fat person and saying ok don't eat it!

Other then that I don't think I have anything else to say for the moment. Despite my mood swings and depression I still can manage to find some things to make me happy and I can still crack a smile and laugh. All hope is not loss yet for me and that is a general statement with everything that I have going on in my life. If you want something to improve in life you need to go out and do it on your own. It won't happen without effort from yourself.



Sometimes I don't really think I need another person around to amuse me. I do a fairly good job of keeping myself amused the majority of the time. It is mainly just random stupid crap that I do. Days later I will remember things and randomly laugh or smile about it. So here is some happenings from the past few days.

First off I been rearranging my room and cleaning. I'm doing spring cleaning late. More like fall cleaning I suppose. Anyways I put the green giant in the corner and then dressed him up with my Jason mask and a Black Sabbath shirt. That amused me for like a good hour or so when I did that. Then for the hell of it I took a guitar cable and was beating the crap out of him. I really don't know why. Anger management maybe? Or the fact I figured it would easily amuse me, which of course it did. I was laughing my ass off. Poor green giant, I swear if there was a way for him to strangle me he would strangle me in my sleep.

As I was cleaning I decided to move my router and modem. I unplugged the router and plugged it back in. Was working fine. Suddenly my computer turns off by itself and then when it comes back on the router won't recognize I have the internet. I was like what the hell. So I literally spent a total of 3 hours messing with it doing everything that I could possibly think of to fix it. I pretty much thought that somehow I had fried it. Then I was reading some things and determined hmm maybe I didn't put the cables back in right. After the computer shut off I took the cables out and redid the router. Well apparently I did not put them back in right. Cables in wrong will cause a router not to work. Just an FYI for everyone. So now since I have the cables in correctly I have a working router. It was a total face palm moment for me.

Then my father provided some amusement for me too. I went into the freezer the other day and there was a package of string cheese in there. I said to him what the hell is this about, why is this in the freezer? He was like um I don't know. I was like are you freezing cheese now and he replied with I believe I put that in there on accident. Well I would hope so. In 32 years I don't believe I have ever seen someone freeze cheese before lol.

I think the big LOL moment this week though had to be the trash can story. I had a small trash can in my computer room and I really didn't need it in here anymore so I took it downstairs and put it on the kitchen table. He saw it and I told him I didn't need it upstairs anymore so I decided to bring it down here. He looks at it and says I can wash this out and use this as a candy bowl. I looked at him and said seriously you are going to use a trash can for candy. He was like yeah why not, its bigger then the bowls I use. I laughed and was like ok whatever. I didn't really think he was that serious about it until yesterday. Yesterday I see the trash can on the shelve filled with candy. I started cracking up. I really can't believe he is using a trash can for his candy. Last night we were watching "Transformers" and he had the trash can of candy by him. I couldn't help but smile and laugh.

Never a dull moment in this house. At least it gives me something to smile and laugh about and hell write about in my blogs. Plus it makes life a little bit easier when you are amused about something the majority of the time.

Btw I have now written more blogs in this year then I have in the previous 2 years. Go me!

Also, hi Catina! I had to acknowledge you in some way since I know you are one of a few people that actually read my blogs. Well that and you are special.

That is all for now. Oh yeah I did get a new webcam for this computer. I have one on my laptop but I really am not on my laptop that much so I got one for my main desktop. Thinking I should go back to doing some "Life Lessons with The Nick" videos. I don't know if people really enjoyed them or not but I know some parts were somewhat funny. Until next time goodbye!



The title is going to be rather deceiving. Someone may see that and think "omgz he thinks he is useless". Nah, I don't really think that at all. I kept using the word useless in facebook PWMB chat so I was like they that will be the next title for my blog. So it is like an inside joke pretty much. I don't think I am useless, a bit lazy though.

Starting to clean my rooms and organize a bit. Wait, did I not try this months ago? I did and I failed dramatically. Cut me some slack, I will get it done. I'd like to rearrange things a bit but I have very little options on what I can actually do. I do have a ton of posters that have been sitting around for the past 6 years. Maybe I will put them up! A sign of how lazy I am? I have xmas lights hanging up in the other room and they pretty much burned out a year ago. Good job Nick...good job.

Might be going to the zoo tomorrow. It has been awhile. The weather is suppose to be pretty nice out. We were thinking of going on some sort of road trip tomorrow to look at fall colors and whatnot but I said to my father why not go to the zoo. I can finally see my relatives! Yay! Wait, did I just insult myself? Yeah oh well.

Evanescence is in a few weeks. I am pretty excited to go see them. Sucks I am going by myself but oh well. It is either go by myself or don't see them at all. I would rather see them then not see them of course. Their new album comes out in a week. Can't wait to hear it.

My mood as of late as been really good. In fact I am quite happy and find myself literally bouncing off the walls lately. Best way to describe it I guess would be I want to sing and dance around to just about any song I listen to which might possibly be weird cause of some of the randomness that comes on my play list. I dunno its really great to feel like this the majority of the time. Even when like I get irritated about something at the moment I laugh it off. This Nick I could totally get use to.

Although last night before I went to bed I laid there and I started to pray and talk to God. I do this on occasion. I like to thank him for things in my life. I don't act very religious most of the time but I feel like I should thank him from time to time. So I did that and fell asleep. Woke up less then 4 hours later with a bad leg cramp. I was being punished for praying! Ok not really but I just found that rather amusing. I think maybe I should thank him more then I do, just I could do without the leg cramps.

A lot of me being happy I owe to Catina. Things with her have been rather great. I am not going to get into a lot of details here but I will say this, she is very special to me and she has a special place in my heart. I will however share with you all something she wrote about me in her livejournal years ago. I still go back and read this periodically because I don't think anyone else has ever written anything that touched my heart as much as this did. It is rather long sorry. Actually why am I sorry for? I did not write it lol.

"It was storming bad and the electricity went out so I took a nap. It was nice. I dreamt about wal*mart. Please shoot me. Lol. When I woke up I considered just going to bed, but I couldn't. Before it went out I had been online talking to Nicky and so I couldn't just not go back. Then once I went back I couldn't seem to leave. I really really just simply enjoy talking to him. He mellows me out sorta. He like levels everything out and makes life earlier for awhile. Right now everything is just kinda crazy and whenever I think about relax time or free time or any time that I just want to sit and do nothing I think "well, I would love to talk to Nicky." There is something about him that I just can't get over. He is like I DUNNO. Gosh it bugs me because I can't think of the words to even describe how wonderful this guy is. I mean its amazing to think that I even got the opportunity to meet someone so great. I mean I always have really cared about him and thought of him as a great friend. I mean we have known each other for years and I never stopped to really look and see who HE really was. Let me tell you, I was missing out for sure. This is the kinda guy that I sat around wishing that Patrick would act like. This is the kinda guy that I think most girls wish for. He's funny and smart and supportive and just overall he is an amaaaaazing person. He has admitted that he has feelings for me and hell I have basically admitted that I have some for him too. I mean I can't lie about that. I guess that's a horrible thing considering I have a boyfriend, but when you think about the relationship right now ya kinda just might be able to understand why it is so easy to be able to admit something like that. Now I'm not saying I'm going to run out and dump Patrick for Nicky, because I will be honest and say that at this point I am not ready to do something so extreme. I think Patrick could do just about anything he wanted to me and yet I would forgive him. He knows that and he takes advantage of that and I'm getting sick of it, but I'm still not strong enough within to give up. I still can't say it's over. I still feel like I have to protect him from being hurt and me breaking up with him would only hurt him. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it now at least. Never say never though. Anyway, back to talking about Nicky. He is so sweet to me. Sometimes it is so nice to have someone treat you with respect and show you kindness, love and attention that other people should be giving you, but are not. He goes the distance to show me that I am someone who actually means something and I do matter. I hope he knows how important he is as well. Basically though he treats me better than most of the people I know and I totally thank him for that. He is definentally going to make somebody VERY happy someday. He can take someone from being so low and totally just bring them up again. Without a doubt he is a giver, not a taker and after the relationships I have been in and am in now I KNOW that that is something you need to be looking for in a person. I can't say enough good things about him. It amazes me how someone such as himself could not be taken. It just simple amazes me. I mean once you get to know him its like he just falls right into your heart and locks himself in there. That's not a bad thing either because I like it that way. I like that no matter what happens he will always be with me in some way. I like it that I know he feels the same about me. I like it. I just really really like it." -7/13/05

So, useless? No. I just using the word.



I really didn't want to take a week between blogs but it happens. I also did not know what to name this blog so I went with N. Which stands for Nick. Wow, how incredibly clever of me. I totally thought of this one myself too. I am smart!

Let me get the football stuff out of the way first. May as well bore my readers to death in the first paragraph and then try to take away their boredom later. The Packers are 3-0. Which I am happy about. They are playing some tough football at the moment. I only hope they can keep it up. Their offense is unstoppable, in fact I think the only way their offense is stopped is if they stop themselves by committing stupid penalties and whatnot. I still think they will get back to the super bowl.

We are probably going to Door County in a few weeks. Other then the Dells that would have to be our other favorite vacation spot. This time of year it is really pretty up there. Fall colors and whatnot. My father wanted to go somewhere for like a day and I am like why don't we just finally go to Door County and stay a few nights. We have not done that in awhile. In fact the last time we went up there was in 2007 with my sister Mary. Since then we only go to the Dells. Here is a sad fact that I would like to mention. That trip was the last time me and Mary had a conversation but yet we lived in the same house up until her death in July of 09. Sad memories. As much as we would like to avoid them from time to time they can resurface. Anyways yeah this will be a nice little getaway. I really like it up there. Peaceful and beautiful.

Sunday night was the first time I got drunk in awhile. It didn't last long though. I mean for Christ sake I only had Mike's hard lemonade. I feel like a wimp for even getting drunk off of something like that. Keep in mind though I haven't drank in a long time and I did down them pretty fast. So fast that because I had nothing else to drink I went from drunk to sober as quickly as I got drunk. I really don't enjoy drinking at the moment anyways. Maybe cause years back I overdid it a bit. Maybe cause I have no one here to be drunk with. One of my fondest memories of being drunk since I've been back here from Florida was when we went to Door County in 05. We went walking around at night time to explore a bit and I decided to bring a whole bottle of some vodka crap with me. So I was walking around with a big ass bottle in my hand stumbling and laughing while looking up at the stars. Now that was fun. The night that I probably drank the most was New Year's eve in 97. God I feel so old cause that was almost 14 years ago. I still remember what I had that night. It is amazing how much I remember doing when I'm totally plastered, of course unless I black out which I have done before but we won't get into that. Ok so on that night I had like 16 wine coolers (Jack Daniels coolers and regular wine coolers), 3 cups of vodka slush, 3 cups of rum and coke, a few shots of goldschlager, and then some champagne to top it off. The actual cups of what I had are estimations. All I know is I drank for an entire like 5 hours, if not longer. I had fun that night though. I remember everything just being hazy. I sang karaoke. The song "Sad but True". Then me, my friend Brent, and my brother Jay sang "The Unforgiven" together. There was a good amount of people there. 30 or more at least. I don't sing in front of people but I really did not care that night. I'm pretty surprised that I did not throw up that night, which btw I may mention this now...I have never thrown up from drinking EVER. Anyways, good times though.

I haven't been on track this week with pretty much anything that I wanted to do. Thank god though I still have today and tomorrow to at least accomplish a few things that I wanted to do. My mind has been racing this week and I have had a lot to think about. It is ok though cause I know what I need to do and I'll do it.

Don't you hate it when you dream about people whom you would rather not dream about? I do this all of the time. It is annoying to wake up and go "Ugh! Why did I just dream about that person!". If only you could control your dreams. Yeah then I'd be having crazy sex dreams about Amy Lee then. I don't see what would be wrong with that though. She is beautiful. Plus that voice. Oh my God! /Drool. Ok yeah sorry about that. Got caught up in a little fantasy there apparently.

Weather is becoming nice out. Well ok lately all it has done is rain but it is cooler now. The leaves are starting to change color. I am going to have to go out and take some pictures eventually. I am sure in Door County there will plenty of opportunities to take some though. I'm just not looking forward to snow. Last winter was a bit annoying. It isn't like we had a ton of snow but we got enough snow on almost a daily basis for it to become very annoying. We did have that one big snowstorm of 20 inches. I would rather have one massive snowstorm then little dinky ones.

Anyways that is about it for now.



I think way too much. Thoughts in my head just go from one thing to the next then back to what I was originally thinking and then so on and so forth. Drives me a bit crazy from time to time. I suppose if I didn't have a thought at all then I would probably be bored and smashing my head into the wall for amusement. Like I would ever smash my head into the wall. I don't think I would like to clean up the mess afterward. I could hire a maid just specifically for that. "Hi I hear you are looking for work? Now I like to smash my head into the wall until I bleed, would it bother you cleaning up a little blood here and there?" Never said I was normal.

The good mood I have been in disappeared this week. It sorta sucks but I knew it was going to happen, I mean I can't be totally happy day in and day out for the rest of my life. I should clarify that I am not exactly in a bad mood either I'm just neutral at the moment. Think I've been thinking about too much stuff lately and questioning all my actions to actually be on a high like I was last week, hence my blog title.

On a positive note I made a list of goals/things I would like to accomplish. Of course when I make lists do I ever usually follow them? Well I try to at least. Easily distracted ftl. I'm going to keep most of the list to myself though so people can't come back here months later and be like oh hey I thought you were going to do this and you never did.

Exercising more/weight lost. Well this one I was sorta doing already. I got sidetracked a bit when we went to the Dells but this week I started up again. Baby steps. Been on the exercise bike every morning and every night though. I should really get back to walking too. Last time I really took walking seriously I ended up dropping about 35 lbs. I want to do that again and then some. The whole goal here is to just feel better.

Job. Probably one of the most important ones. I think I made some progress by at least having a job interview. Now I just need something to fall into place for me so I can live a little bit more. Money would be great too. Also meeting new people and whatnot. This will happen in time I just have to keep on trying.

My license. I've wrote about this one a ton of times before this time I am really serious though. Serious enough that I actually went to the DMV yesterday to get my temps. Of course I did not realize I had to retake the test and well that did not go over too well. I got a 73 perc on the test. I got the majority of the common sense ones right but then some stumped me. Embarrassing that I failed the test but whatever I'll go back there again and retake it then I can work on getting out on the road. I think I am more serious about my license then a job at the moment. This one is really long overdue though, I'm 32...I should of had this a long time ago.

My GED. This is a monkey that has been on my back for a long time and I need to get rid of it. I can't help but feel like shit about myself and think I am stupid for never graduating high school or waiting so long to get my GED. If I could go back and change things I would but I can't so it is time to move on and work on the things that I can still change. People probably look at me as if I am dumb, a loser, etc. That is fine, at least deep down I know otherwise.

I want to go see Catina. She likes it when I mention her in my blogs but thats not really the reason why I'm mentioning her. She is really special to me and I'm quite fond of her. It is nice to have someone care about you and really make it feels like you do matter. She is just coming off a horrible ending to a long term relationship though. The dumb ass walked out on her and her two kids. She is a bit scared to get too close to someone and end up having her heart broken again. I can totally understand that. I have my own trust issues and I would rather not have my heart broken again. I try really hard not to be pushy with her but it is hard cause when I fall for someone I fall pretty hard. I'm being patient cause I know deep down that there is something really special here. Anyways though I need to accomplish some of the other things before I can pull this one off. I'd rather not go to see her and be like "Hi I'm Nick...I am a loser". Though I don't think she would ever think of me like that so this is probably more of a do it for me type thing then anything else. I don't know where all of this is going to go exactly but I'm really thinking that the journey to the final destination may be very well worth it.

People probably think I'm really nuts and I am not thinking clearly. If people want to believe that it is fine. I'm thinking more clearer then I have in a long time. Even if I have any doubts, fears, etc I am thinking clearly. I know what I want and I know what I need to do to get it. There are other things that were on my list but those five are the main ones for the moment.

I think that is all for now. I could probably write more but this has already turned into a mini novel so I shall stop there.


Sleepless Nights

I haven't been able to sleep much lately. Like this morning for example it got to be a little bit after 6am and it is like my body was saying to me "Ok Nick time to wake up". Yesterday it was 430am. Who the hell wakes up that early when they don't have work or kids? Me apparently. Although I am not really complaining. My mood has been way too good lately to really care about a lack of sleep.

Literally I feel like I am bouncing off the walls lately. Like ok for example I woke up this morning but I did actually lay back down and try to go back to sleep but my mind was racing with tons of thoughts and it seemed like I'd rather be awake then sleeping cause what if I miss something important while I was asleep. I don't want to miss anything important! I guess in a way I would say I am almost too happy to sleep. That does sound sorta mental. I guess I've never really been a happy person and now that I feel happy I guess I want to make every minute of my life count and I can't do that while I am sleeping. Though I am sure all the chicks I have sex dreams about will be disappointed, they won't be getting any from me in the dream world anytime soon.

Anyways I am feeling better. I thought I may have a cold coming on but I am not sure I feel like that anymore. I felt kinda weird up until we finally got some food in this house yesterday. Nice bowl of soup and then Papa Murphy's pizza and I felt totally better. I'm too much in a good mood to be sick! With that being said lets hope I can maintain this mood.

I made a to-do list yesterday morning. I'm not going to go through the list though. I am pretty serious about this list. Normally when I give myself things I want to do I don't write it down and I just kinda keep the list in my head but this one I actually took the time to write it down and I have it sitting in front of me so I can look at it periodically throughout the day. Some of these things on the list are easy and some will take a little bit of effort. I can do it.

Starting watching True Blood last night with Catina. She has been trying to get me to watch the show for a long time now. So finally last night I started watching it. Kinda funny we are watching the show together online from the very beginning. It was kinda like this: "You ready? Yes I am. Ok click play!". Yep we might just be dorks but that is ok. So far I think the show is good. Only made it through 2 episodes so far but it has my interest already. Can't wait to watch more.

What a nice guy I am too. Catina isn't feeling good cause she has an ear infection so I took the time to make her a get well card to mail to her. Yes the card is a little bit lame but eh I wasn't trying to impress anyone with my drawing skills or anything. To me it is really important if you care about someone to let them know and that is all I was doing.

Packers play the Panthers today. I can't see the Panthers beating the Pack. Cam Newton had a great first game for the Panthers but they played the Cardinals and the Cards are definitely not the Packers. They don't have as good as a defense as we do. I totally think we will get to Newton and rattle him. The Packers will win big today and Rodgers will have a monster day. I didn't like Rodgers at first mostly because of Favre but now I am a member of the Aaron Rodgers fan club. Sorry Favre, I still think you are one of the greatest and it was awesome to see you do the things you did in a Packer uniform but I have moved on.

Well that is all for now. Go Pack go and yay for being happy!


The Dells Trip part 2

So it is 5:30 in the morning and I can't get back to sleep. I figure now would be a good time to write part 2. Yesterday I was just not feeling really well at all. I woke up at the hotel and I felt sick. Like I had this chest congestion that went to my throat. I also felt like really cold and then suddenly I was burning up. I had to go open up the patio door and stand there, mind you it was in the 30s at that time. I tried to eat some food and I pretty much felt like I wanted to puke at the sight of it. I really thought I was not going to last through a 2 hour car ride home. I did though and I feel ok for the most part this morning. I get really bad anxiety and when I think I am sick it gets worse. Either way I think I am alright now. Maybe I was just looking for an excuse to stay in the Dells a day longer?

Let me see, I wrote about the trip on Tuesday so lets talk about the other two days I was there. On Wednesday we went to Pizza Pub for all you can eat pizza and pasta lunch. I really believe I ate way too much food but oh my God was it awesome! The pasta for the day was spaghetti, it changes from day to day. Later on me and my father went to downtown Dells to check out the stores and whatnot. They have some cool stuff down there and a lot of funny t-shirt places. The problem is none of the sizes are big enough for a fat person. So it's like I couldn't get anything. That was a bit disappointing but it also prompted me to say I am definitely losing weight! Not much else happened that day. I did go for a walk by the hotel and discovered the pathway led right down to Lake Delton. So that was pretty cool.

On Thursday we decided to go for a car ride to Plainfield, Wisconsin. The cemetery there is the burial place of serial killer Ed Gein. It is an unmarked grave cause people stole the headstone before but he is located right by other members of the Gein family. I thought it would be no problem to find it cause I kinda watched a youtube video on about where it is. Well, I couldn't find it. I walked around that cemetery for a good 20-30 minutes and I could not find it. So we ended up leaving and of course I was pretty disappointed that we couldn't find it. We get back to the hotel and I looked it up on youtube and then was mad to discover that I was right by the damn grave and I did not see it. Ugh! Oh well some other day I suppose. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful other then me walking around making that stupid video that I posted in part 1.

Was a nice getaway. I always like going there on vacation. It is peaceful and beautiful and it helps me think quite a bit. It also helps that lately I have been in a good mood. Now that my vacation is over it is time to get some things done that I need to do. I think that as long as I can maintain some level of happiness like I have been able to then anything is possible.


The Dells Trip part 1

Instead of doing an actual blog I figured I'd post a video of my vacation at the Dells. It is nothing special, it is just the condo we stayed at. Next blog will be more about the trip. I have no desire to write atm cause I am sorta feeling under the weather. So enjoy the video in the meantime.



So we made it to Wisconsin Dells today. Pretty nice weather here. Not a drop of rain in sight. The nights are suppose to be cool but that is quite alright. It is really peaceful and beautiful here. I would much rather prefer to live somewhere like here instead of Milwaukee.

I just got out of the jacuzzi. I can't even begin to explain how relaxed I feel. Like seriously this may be the most relaxed I have felt in a very long time. Now if only I could take the jacuzzi home with me. Oh that would be great. Its amazing that I am pretty afraid of water but yet I can go into a jacuzzi with very little problems. Not that I am complaining though, this is a good thing.

We haven't done much here yet, then again we only got here earlier this afternoon. We went to Walmart and bought a shit ton of snacks. Seriously when I go back home I am going to be really serious about the diet. I'm going to need to lol. Not sure what we are planning on actually doing while we are here. We don't normally plan though, we just kinda decide ok lets go do that! Although driving to Plainfield to see Ed Gein's grave is a high possibility at this point.

The trip up here was interesting enough that I felt it deserved a blog. First off we were barely even on the road when my father starts complaining about other drivers. Remember people he is the only driver out there who knows what he is doing! Well as we are driving along we are coming across a lot of road kill and pieces of tires all over the place. So my father decides to start saying out loud when we come across something. When we came across dead animals he would say "ROAD KILL". When we came across tire parts he would say "TIRE KILL". At one point we came across garbage in the road and he said "TRASH KILL". I'm like trash kill? He said yeah there was a trash bag in the road. I just started laughing. Frankly most of the way here I was like laughing. Then there was the ant incident. There was an ant in the car that crawled on him. He freaked out. He was like how the hell did an ant get in here. I am like I dunno. He kept going on about it then he was like I was about to pull in the emergency lane just to kill an ant. I started laughing cause that just sounded so ridiculous. Funny but ridiculous. Eventually I found the ant and killed it but like the last 20-30 minutes in the car he kept questioning where it came from. Many laughs today=a good start to this vacation.

Despite me feeling somewhat exhausted from traveling and after a nice relaxing jacuzzi I am in a very good mood. I wish I could feel like this all the time. I guess the challenge for me is being able to stay like this despite what may be thrown my way. I say bring it on! I don't want this feeling to go away. When Nick is happy the world is a brighter place and I am sure my friends will say that it tens to rub off on other people. Either way I can't complain. Oh wait, sure I can. The only complain I have is that a certain person lived just a tad bit closer. Who knows though, down the road even that could possibly change. I dunno I'm beginning to really think a new Nick is upon us and I don't think that will be a bad thing. It will be a good thing.

Hope everyone is well.



Only one person would know what the title is in reference too, if she reads this of course. By the way, hi Catina! Oh my God see I even mentioned you by name this time! Ok enough of that. I've been in a fairly good mood today so I figured I would write a little bit. I had some ideas of what I was going to write but then I decided eh I'll just write and see where I go. If I happen to go all over the place in this blog I am sorry.

I'm feeling a little less stressed. Actually to be totally honest I've been in a really good mood today. Somewhat hyper I guess. I just hope its not like a one time thing and tomorrow I go back to hating the world. I doubt that though since we are going to the Dells tomorrow. I am really looking forward to that. We don't even have to be really doing anything but just being there in the Dells is good enough for me. I think my father is happy about going, in fact he had a lot of his crap packed by noon today. Mind you we are not leaving until like noon tomorrow. Me on the other hand I will most likely do all my packing like 30 minutes before we leave. Typical for me. I work better under pressure.

Got my haircut today. I actually think I look good. I never usually think I look good, ok on occasion I may have these moments where I do but today I was really feeling it. Took a bunch of pictures to plaster on facebook. I feel so lame doing shit like that. It's like oh my god look at my picture I look so hawt please tell me I'm hawt so I don't take a razor blade to my fucking wrist! I'm totally not like that at all. Some attention is fine though but yeah I see people plaster pictures all over the internet in a hope that someone will make them feel better about themselves. Newsflash, that shit doesn't really work and in the end you may just be asking for trouble.

I might be getting visitors for a change come next summer. I know that is a long way off but still oh my God people coming to visit me in Wisconsin! No way! Cool shit like that never happens to me. Andrew and his wifey might be coming here for vacation. Well actually we would be going to Wisconsin Dells. I guess I made a pretty good pitch to Andrew to get him to be interested in coming here. The Dells are a lot of fun and there is a ton to do there. Guess I sold it well. He may not be the only coming here for that though. The female who shall remain nameless (despite the fact that she is actually mentioned in the first paragraph I kinda like referring to her like this) could possibly be coming too. Oh lord this vacation is MANY months away and it may turn into something EPIC.

Should I explain the title of my blog? Nah, it is more fun to keep people guessing.

I think this is all I will say for now. I might possibly update while I am at the Dells, assuming we have internet access. Hope everyone has had a good day. Sometimes it is just really nice to just be able to sit here and smile and really not worry about much of anything. I mean sure there is quite a bit on my mind but whatever. Worrying about stuff never usually accomplishes much anyways. So you know I'm just going to enjoy this time right now and be as happy as I can.


Burning leaf

Think I've been avoiding my blog. I've been wanting to write but at the same time eh I have lacked motivation. September hasn't been off to an exactly great start. I keep telling myself it will just get better just keep on pushing Nick. I also tell myself things are never really as bad as I make them out to be which is totally true. At the end of the tunnel there is a light, I have to sort through all the bullshit to get there. On the other hand there are some things that have made this month not so bad.

Me and my father are heading to the Dells for a few days. I am looking forward to it. I totally love the Dells. We never really do a whole heck of a lot there but it is just nice to getaway. I'm sure I will be spending most of my time sitting in the lounge chair looking out at Lake Delton. Of course there is that nice jacuzzi that I will be spending some time in too. Sounds so relaxing at the moment.

Not too long ago I talked about this girl that I liked. She will remain nameless for the moment cause I am not sure she wants me giving out her name anyways. She might not care but eh whatever. We decided that we weren't going to try to make it work. Well I guess we decided that it was premature to decide something like that and we are taking more of a see how it goes type thing. Which I am totally cool with. I've come to the conclusion that even if something is complicated it may very well be worth it in the end to give it a shot. If two people make each other happy then why not just go for it? If something is meant to be then it will play out in the end. Frankly I am not all too concerned about whatever might be complicated, I enjoy spending time with her and if there is one person who understands me besides Andrew it would be her. So we'll see what happens.

The Packers opened up the season with a thrilling 42-34 win over the Saints. They were really trying to give me a heart attack at the end there but they pulled it out. I look forward to a good season and I feel that their offense is going to give a lot of teams problems. Packers will repeat.

I suppose I can mention the not so good. My anxiety has been bad lately. So have my mood swings. I blame stress and sometimes just not knowing how to deal well with my inner demons and/or failure. Failure? I am referring to my job hunting. I assume I am not getting the job at Piggly Wiggly. I am really disappointed. I wanted this job quite a bit. I am more then qualified for it. The problem is I am going on 6 years of being out of work. I know that looks horrible. It is not entirely my fault. I do have to take the blame for some of it though. Laziness and whatnot. I've tried and tried and I really have had no luck. It is really getting to me lately. I don't want to sit here any longer without a job. I feel like shit the majority of the time. There is so much I want to do and I feel like I can't do anything. I'm not really whining I am just frustrated. I can't get out of this slump until I get a job and I most likely can't get a job cause they look at how long I have been out of work and they think oh my god that is horrible. I think my experience in grocery stores is another downside too. They are looking for employees they can pay for cheap. They figure with my experience I may want a decent amount of money. Newsflash people, I don't care much about the pay. I want a job. I want health insurance. I want somewhat of a life. I could care less if you pay me 7 bucks an hour or 10 bucks an hour. So why do I think I didn't get this job? Well the fact that I know of at least 2 people that they hired over me with 0 grocery store experience. Yeah I was picked over for people who had absolutely no grocery store experience despite the fact I have like 4 years. This explains my moods lately but in the end bitching is not going to get me anywhere. I have to do what I can to go ahead and find something and I will. I'm going to have to settle for something and then probably work my way back up. If that is what it takes then I will definitely give it a try.

On Labor Day we had a cookout and afterward I sat outside by the grill watching the fire and enjoying the beautiful weather. A lot of times I just like to sit outside and just take everything and think. I seem to think better when I am in a calm setting, or if im on the toilet taking a crap. I seem to get a lot of good ideas there. One would say I shit greatness. Anyways back to what I was originally saying. I picked up a leaf and put it in the fire and I watched it burn. This is where I got the blog title from. So really I wrote this blog in my head days ago, I am just now doing it.

In the end there will always be road blocks and bumps in the road. We have to learn how to deal with them and keep on moving. If we don't life just passes us by. I believe the greatness a person can show may not always be a person creating something, writing a book, winning a race, etc...it can simply be how the person handles the bumps and bruises associated with life.


Zombies! Must kill the zombies!

2am most normal people would be asleep. What do I do at 2am? If I'm not sleeping I'm usually trying to survive a zombie apocalypse on Left 4 Dead 2. It is currently one of my favorite games to play. Most likely because I've been playing it with a few friends. When we aren't destroying zombies we are shooting each other in the back. Makes me wonder would we actually survive a real zombie apocalypse? Probably not.

There is one character in that game I absolutely hate and that would be Coach. He is pretty much useless and in most games with us he is the computer controlled person. Dude just stands there on most occasions or walks right over you if you are incapacitated on the ground. You should hear us on voice chat sometimes. I can not repeat some of the things we say about him. Usually if he pisses off us we shoot him up next game or we just kill him altogether.

I have been meaning to update my blog but for the past week or so I have spiraled into sort of a funk. I've been really frustrated and just not myself. Trying to fight it the best I can. I suppose it probably would help if I wrote more. I dunno.

I think I decided I am going to start looking around at other jobs. I am starting to have doubts about the Piggly Wiggly job. People are telling me I am being paranoid and I most likely am. I really am overqualified for a job there but I think my experience and well the fact that I haven't worked in forever may just be my undoing. I'm still hopeful that this will work out. I really want this one. Not just because I need the money but because I need to head into a positive direction sometime in my life. I have to explore my options though. Hope still remains though.

We got xbox 360. I've been playing playstation and whatnot for the past 12-13 years. I never did get anything more advanced then a ps2. It wasn't really my decision to get one either. My father comes up to me on Monday and is like we should get a game system. I was kinda like uh ok. It just so happened that they had a deal for xbox at Best Buy. If you bought one you got a 75 Best Buy gift card. Not only that but Madden 12 was going to be coming out. So I talked him into that. We went and got it yesterday. So far, other then the problems setting up xbox live party chat, I am pretty happy with it. We need more games though. Guess it is a good thing we got that gift card. My father needs some games he can actually play cause I am sure he wouldn't get Madden.

Beavis and Butthead is making a return in October. I am excited. I loved that show as a teenager and I still love that show today. I've been wanting them to bring it back for such a long time now. So when I found out the news that they were bringing them back I was all happy. Now that they have an actual release date for it I am super excited. October promises to be a good month. Evanescence concert and the return of Beavis and Butthead.

Also excited about the new Star Wars mmo coming out. We been trying to work on getting people for our guild on the game. I suppose I can use the power of my blog to promote our guild so here I go.

Vitriol is a guild aligned to the sith empire. The core of officers have been friends for quite awhile and have experience running/co-leading guilds and raids for the past 6-7 years on SWG and WoW. We are looking for more people to hang out with us and whatnot. Please be 18 to apply.


How did that sound? Good I hope. So yeah if anyone who reads my blog is planning on playing that game check out the guild.

One thing that has been playing over and over in my head are the words "never give up". No matter how down I am about certain things or how uncertain I feel I should never give up and keep pushing forward. In the end if you don't give up then you will be successful.

August was an interesting month and for the most part I got back some of my self confidence, even if I doubt myself from time to time. I am anxious to see how September turns out. I think it will be just fine.

Btw, if people haven't noticed I changed the look of my blog a bit. Does it look cool, ok, or no?


The Girlfriend Application

The other day a thought came to me that I should write an insane blog making it seem like I was taking applications for a female to be my girlfriend. This has to be one of the more demented, disturbing, sexist things I have ever come up with. It is meant to be funny and not meant to be taken seriously at all. If you take it seriously I may LOL at you. I'm sure a few people will get offended.

"The Girlfriend Application"
If you want to be my girlfriend you will fill this out truthfully.

Are you a good sandwich maker? (If you can't make me a damn good sandwich don't fucking waste my time by answering the rest of the questions)

Name? (If I can't pronounce it you will be shit out of luck)

Age? (Don't lie to me)

Where do you live? (Yes I am going to stalk you)

Height? (If you are under 5 feet tall I will consider you a midget and midgets have increased chance of being with me)

Boob size? (Truth be told I am a guy and I will be staring at your tits a lot. If there is nothing to stare at then it is not going to work)

Eye color? Do you have retarded looking eyes? (If you have freaky looking eyes that will scare the shit out of me don't bother filling out the rest)

Race? (I am a bit racist, it will work if you can handle that. If you are Chinese you have an increased chance only if you can make me chicken fried rice)

Is you vag shaved or hairy like Chewbacca? (If you don't know who Chewbacca is you are useless. The point of this question is I want to know if I go down on you am I going to encounter the amazon rain forest or not? Frankly getting pube hair stuck between my teeth is not my idea of a good time)

Are you mental? Emotional unstable? (Wait all females are. Nevermind this question)

Do you like to give blowjobs? Do you swallow or spit?
(If you are a spitter that is ok but if you spit the shit back at me next time I will bust a nut in your eye. Also you better like giving blowjobs, I'm not going down on you for no apparent reason)

I don't believe in the long walks on the beach shit, if I am going to take you to the beach I am going to push your ass down in the sand and laugh. Would that be a problem?

Do you like anal?

I don't believe in paying for our dates. In fact if we go out to eat I definitely am not paying as I don't want to support you being a fat ass. This is ok right?

Now say you live far away would you be willing to travel and spend say over 1000 dollars just to see me to get some cock? Would you be willing to travel more then once? (Btw this may boost my ego a lot if you pay that much just to get some sex...and I may laugh at you after our relationship doesn't work out)

Are you a cheater? (Know that if I find out that you are cheating on me not only will I slit your throat I will find the guy or guys you fucked around with and make sure that they will never be able to have sex again)

Is it ok if I have multiple sex partners?
(I have needs and you are never going to fullfill them all. Keep me happy by letting me fuck all kinds of chicks and we won't have an issue)

Do you cyber with people online? (LOL if you do cause you're fucking pathetic)

Do you like porn? (Bonus points if you do)

Would you like to star in a homemade porn?
(I am looking for some bitch who isn't afraid to get naked in front of the camera and lets me fuck her brains out while I record it)

Are you opposed to any of the following during sex? Biting, punching, spitting, being cursed at, choked, stabbed, hit in the head with random items such as shoes, thrown into the wall, etc.

Are you one of those goofy bitches who nicknames their bf's penis? (Having someone call your penis Mr.Happy is LOL)

Do you smoke? Do drugs? (I do neither so GTFO if you do)

Do you drink? (If you get drunk on occasion it will be easier for me to take advantage of you)

Do you believe in GOD? (Please don't force your fucking relgion on me. I'll believe what I want to believe and if you annoy me with it I may slit your throat)

Are you an animal lover? (Occasionally I like to punch puppies in the face. So if you have a puppy don't be mad at me when I punch him in the face)

Like sports at all? (Football scores points with me. Tennis or golf I may think you are a lesbian. Wrestling is encouraging. We can practice moves on each other)

Do you mind me getting off to porn? (If you do you could just help me get off dumbass)

Do you have kids? (I am not a fucking charity nor a bank. I don't give a fuck about your kids and I will not help you with them)

Are you one of those nasty bitches who does not know how to clean your vagina? (The fish smell is not really appealing and there are things to help you out)

Do you like to be shit on during sex or do you shit on a guy during sex?
(Nasty bitches exit stage right. If you shit on me during sex I will drag your naked ass outside and toss you in the middle of the road)

So do you think you can handle me? (More then likely not. No chick has proved to me that she can handle me. Women are useless until proven otherwise)



I totally didn't realize that my blog yesterday was my 100th blog I have written for this blog site. I'm a long way off doing what I did with my livejournal. I was a posting whore back then though. Literally I would write posts just to say "Hi my name is Nick and I literally have nothing else to do then to write a stupid entry just to say hi". I like to think my online journal has improved over the years and I write more meaningful posts now a days. If I didn't someone would tell me right?

I was thinking why don't I use numbers for blog titles. I mean it would be easier then trying to think of a catchy subject that is not going to catch someone's attention anyways. I was going to do that for my 100th blog but I had a total fail on my part and forgot I got to my 100th blog. Oh well. Maybe numbering blogs will be something to do for now on?

Let me talk about...baseball. No way Nick, baseball? Since when did you like baseball? I use to love baseball as a kid and into my teenage years. I was on a softball team from 4th to 6th grade. My only trophy I have to show for is the 6th grade softball team. Well either way I use to love to play baseball. I've been to a few Brewers games. Never at Miller Park though. It was around 1995 where I stopped really paying attention to it until this year. I mean I usually paid attention to what the Brewers were doing but just never really enough to care. When me and my father went to the Dells I spent some time watching a few of their games. Then I started paying more attention, watching some more games, etc. Now the Brewers are kicking some ass this year. They have a really good chance at doing something this year. I've enjoyed my first year paying attention to baseball in a very long time. Wouldn't it be something if the Brewers won the world series the same year that the Packers won the super bowl? Crazier things have happened.

Not too long ago I made mention of this female that I was interested in. Without getting into any details we pretty much decided that it was not going to work out. I admit I am pretty bummed about it. Life goes on though. Other fish in the sea. In reality I am not ready for another relationship right now anyways. Down the road sure but I have to work on myself first. Getting me situationed>a relationship atm. I am thinking of doing a blog called "The Girlfriend Application". It would be meant to be a joke but I can see that pissing off a few people. Hey if I piss off a few people it would mean that they actually took the time to read it. Score!

I believe that is all for now. Let us see what the upcoming week holds for the Nick. Hopefully a 2nd job interview. Oh how sweet that would be. Keeping my fingers crossed cause this job I really want.


A long time ago

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...oh wait, isn't this the beginning to all of the Star Wars movies? My bad. Well hey since I started off with a Star Wars thing may as well talk about that at first. A few years back I was playing the mmo Star Wars Galaxies. Game was good at first but then went on a massive decline. Eventually I moved over to WoW. It was announced a few years ago that they were going to work on a new Star Wars mmo called Knights of the Old Republic. It is a popular video game series taking place way before the events of Vader and whatnot. I've been interested in playing it since it was first talked about. Well the time is coming closer for it to get release so they started taking pre-orders for it so today against my better judgment of just waiting for a bit I decided to pre-order. I have quite a few friends who will be playing the game so it should be fun. Plus it is Star Wars, it will be fun.

I forgot to mention in my last blog that I started playing guitar again. I first started playing guitar in high school. At one point I had 4 guitars. I quit for awhile though due to well let's put it this way, me making dumb ass decisions. I sold all my guitars and my amp. Then I got back into playing again but it was not the same. At one point I was playing quite a bit and I was even taking guitar lessons. I miss my guitar teacher. His name was Glenn. Good guy. Easy to talk to. I should of probably tried more to learn certain aspects of guitar but I am impatient and if I can't pick up on something right away I give up easy. Yes I am a quitter.

Anyways I've had this really nice guitar and amp just sitting there collecting dust. I started watching online videos about playing guitar and I thought to myself well I think I have been playing guitar wrong for the past 16 years. So I decided to pick up my guitar and change my technique a bit and be a little more patient with what I'm trying to do. So far the result is I have played probably at least an hour a day for the past week. I have noticed improvement in a few things and I am able to play things that I have never been able to do in 16 years. I kinda like to think of it as me reteaching myself and reprogramming myself. I may not be the next Jimi Hendrix or something but I like that I am making progression and I am starting to stick to it. I have it programmed in my head to exercise everyday and at least play guitar for a bit everyday. A good step in the right direction if you ask me.

That is pretty much all for now. It has been exercising, playing guitar, and waiting to hear about this job. Soon I hope.


A new hope

I am going to come right out with the biggest news that I have had in awhile. I am gay! Ok, I am kidding. I am not gay. I had a job interview on Tuesday! The first job interview I have had in such a long time. It was at the new Piggly Wiggly that is opening up soon. Like almost 2 weeks ago I finally decided I should make a resume and I sent it in. I was starting to wonder if there was any hope left that I would actually come close to getting a job. It is extremely frustrating time and time again filling out applications and whatnot and getting absolutely nowhere. On Monday things changed. I got a phone call from the owner of the store. He wanted me to come in for an introductory interview. So on Tuesday I did. In my opinion it went rather well. I will know within a few weeks if I get a call back for a second interview. Just going to one interview though was the confidence boost that I needed. I am pretty sure now that my streak of not working is definitely nearing an end. Nick should be joining the working world again very soon. Let me go on record saying that this has been long overdue.

We drove to Illinois today with my aunt. It was nice to take a short road trip. It was also the first time that I left the state since Oct of 08. Ok so maybe we did not go very far out of state, like just over the border but still that counts for something...right? I really do enjoy traveling and seeing other places then the inside of my house. We went out for lunch too. I ate way too much food. I had barbecue ribs and chicken. Was really good and rather messing.

Which brings me to the next topic. My "diet" and exercising. I am still not on a full fledged diet. I am in a decent exercise routine though. Which is good. At least I am getting one thing right. I've really improved with riding the exercise bike too. Last time I was on the exercise kick I use to do maybe 1.8-1.9 miles within a 10 minute span. Now I am averaging usually around 2.3 or like yesterday was a 2.4. I don't know if it is cause maybe I have more energy or I am more motivated. Whatever it is I hope I can just keep it up.

So I am officially going to the Evanescence concert. I am excited about that. So what if I am going by myself. I would rather go and see them instead of not seeing them cause I have no one to go with. Who knows maybe between now and October 21st I will find someone to go with. Either way I am excited to not only see them in concert but go to a concert. It has been a very long time.

I didn't want to write a terribly long blog tonight. I knew I hadn't written for awhile and I wanted to write. I also thought about going to bed. I picked writing over sleeping. It is really great to have this new found confidence all of a sudden. I feel like I can take on just about anything at the moment and walk away with my head held high. I am sure my job situation is going to turn around and that is a huge thing. I can finally get that monkey off my back. Prove not only some people wrong but maybe ease some of my lingering doubts that I have had for awhile now. I have a new found hope that not only things are going to be fine but they are going to be great. I will not let anyone take that feeling away from me.


Pack talk

August is about halfway over with. Fall is just around the corner and then cold weather and snow. The outlook isn't so bleak though cause football season is here! Rejoice! For a period of time there it did not seem like there was going to be an NFL season this year. They got it all worked out and the Packers start preseason today.

After they won the super bowl last season I can definitely say I am hyped up for a new season of football. It seems as though they are not getting the credit they deserve. All I hear is mainly talk about the Eagles or the Saints. Vince Young goes to the Eagles and they sign a few more guys, now suddenly they are "the dream team". What a crock of shit. It has been proven time and time again that you can not buy championships. Football is a team sport and if you can not work together you will not win football games. You can't just throw a bunch of new people together and automatically bam you win it all. It takes a few years to develop a team chemistry. Besides that look at Michael Vick. Can he play a full season without getting injured? No. I don't believe he can. He runs around way too much and it leaves him vulnerable to taking big hits. Plus you have to think with all the legal problems he has had that someone out there wants to knock him the hell out. If I was a defensive player I know I would. Ok so the Eagles signed some free agents. It does not prove anything to me whatsoever.

They were getting on the Packers cause they let some guys go. People who make these comments obviously did not fully understand their situation last year. They had 15 people out on injured reserve. Sometimes they even had to rely on people who were 3rd stringers. Because that team had so much depth and team chemistry they overcame it all and went on to win the super bowl. Some of the guys who were let go are either getting too old or they were injured last year for most of the season. The free agents we lost are not a big deal cause we have so many talented people who can step in and replace right away. I don't think the Packers are getting enough credit for what they accomplished last year.

I was harsh about Rodgers for a very long time. I've gotten over it. I will always think Favre was one of the best quarterbacks to play the game but yes even now I have to admit the Packers are better off without him. I guess I've jumped on the Aaron Rodgers bandwagon. The guy is fun to watch. I am glad he is on our team and not someone else like the Bears.

I see Steelers fans are still a bit bitter about the super bowl. I see a lot of people say that we barely beat them and they were robbed, etc etc. I think they need a bit of reminding of what happened in the game. You guys were lucky to even be in it until the very end. We had a 21-3 lead. We lost 2 of our best cornerbacks. We had receivers drop a ton of passes. The game could of easily been a blowout. You guys have 6 super bowl titles already so stop crying.

I know it is only preseason but I am going to make a few predictions for the upcoming season.

1)Packers finish 12-4
2)Vick won't play a full season. He will get hurt. Maybe someone will end up breaking his leg and scream at him "That was for all the dogs you killed!".
3)Rex Ryan will finally be shut up as the Jets won't even make the playoffs.
4)Even with Mcnabb the Vikings will miss the playoffs.
5)The Bears come to their senses at some point and realize Cutler won't win them a super bowl so they sign Favre.
6)Packers-Bears NFC championship for the 2nd year in a row. Cutler again pulls himself out of the game. Bears have a chance until Favre throws an INT that is returned for a touchdown. Packers advance to super bowl.
7)Packers-Patriots super bowl. Sounds like the best super bowl option at the moment. Packers pull it off due to the fact that they are still pissed about some 300 pound linemen almost running a kickoff back for a touchdown in last year's game. Revenge is sweet.
8)Favre again retires after the NFC championship game. He states that he should of stayed out of football and just spent his time taking pictures of his penis to send to random females.
9)Cutler is run out of Chicago. Pissed off fans send him death threats and kill his dog. He gets traded to the Raiders.
10)The Browns still suck.

That's my list. Off the wall a little but I suppose that is how I am. I'm a bit off the wall. It is time for football!


More then useless

Hello again. Well I am doing better at updating then I did last month. I had 3 blogs last month total and this is my 4th for this month. Woot. The title has meaning today. I was actually told by someone today that I definitely am not useless. Always good to hear. I mean I know I am not entirely useless but to actually be told that by someone really can make a difference, even put a smile on your face.

It is a beautiful day today. The humidity has finally went away. We have the windows wide open and it is pretty comfortable in here. It is about time. It has been a long summer so far with all this humidity. I have no idea how I put up with it in Florida. Too bad I am feeling less then perfect today although not feeling all too well is easier if your mood is good.

Exercising is still going well. I skipped last night but skipping one night won't kill me. My knee was filling the effects of exercising yesterday so I guess I wanted to rest it a little bit. My eating habits are improving but I could be better. Baby steps. It is better to go about it slowly rather then do everything at once and possibly fail. That is my opinion at least.

Evanescence is finally putting out some new music. Not only that they are also coming to Milwaukee in October. Oh I so want to go. I think I convinced myself that if I have to go alone so be it. Going alone and seeing them would be much better then not going at all. Maybe if I get tickets I will find someone to go with. Tickets aren't all too expensive. 30 bucks I believe. I really enjoy their music and everyone knows I have this huge celebrity crush on Amy Lee. Can't help it. Not only she is beautiful but her voice and the music is amazing. Not everyone will agree with me about their music but that is ok. To each his own. Hoping I get to go though.

So I want to touch on one more thing before I end this blog. I've been staying away from talking about my recent breakup but I think everyone figured that may just be a temporary thing. Unlike some people I won't put the blame on just one person. Things happen, people change, people's ideas of where they are going and what they want to do end up being different. The one thing I have to address though is being referred to as a cheater. Back in May we had a pretty big argument and pretty much called it quits. We decided we could try to work things out. To be totally honest that never really happened. I felt like we were communicating with each other just because we both felt we had to. It was a dead end street. In the meantime though I had been talking to one of my long time friends and I begin to like her a bit. I decided to tell her this. I felt like if I was starting to become interested in someone else then I probably shouldn't be in a relationship anymore. So I ended it. Not so nice things were said to me so naturally I fired back and I made mention of this other girl. I did it of course to stir a reaction which was probably not the best idea of mine but I don't always think clearly when I'm angry. After that I was labeled a cheater. Now I will admit that while in a relationship it is not really a good thing to like someone else but sometimes these things happen. Sometimes you can not control who you like or who you dislike. It was never my intention for something like this to happen. Am I a cheater though? No. Some may agree and some may disagree with me but in the long run it is not a crime to like someone else. Now had I acted on this then yes this makes me an asshole and a cheater. When I think of cheating on someone I usually think of it in a physical sense such as kissing someone or sleeping with someone. Although I suppose now a days cheating could also be taken as screwing around with someone online too such as cyber sex or whatever. I didn't do any of that though. I'm curious as to what people think so I enabled commenting again. If you have anything not so nice to say to me feel free, doesn't mean I won't delete it or totally ignore it.

That is all for now. With football season coming up I am sure to mention some stuff about my Packers. Probably a lot of ranting and raving. Always fun.


It’s Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday

Oh yes I did just use Rebecca Black lyrics for my blog. I seriously could not think of a title and then it occurred to me that it is still Friday here. Before anyone says anything I hate that song. Another about that song is even remotely interesting to me. I think it is one of the worse songs ever. I would listen to shit like N'Suck and Backdoor Girls before listening to her.

Well now since I made my point it is yet again another Friday night with nothing to do. At least I am occupying my time writing though right? I decided to make a resume and I am hoping the jobless streak ends soon. I think it will. Maybe that will help with my boring repetitive life and maybe I'll make some new friends. Despite the fact that I am suppose to hate people I wouldn't mind having a few new friends. Not saying my current friends are boring or anything just you know. I need more interaction!

I'm really happy with my exercising. My eating habits, well not so much at the moment. It is not as bad as it was though but it could be better. Either way I am happy with the exercising progress I am making. A few mornings this week I woke up with lack of sleep, migraine, etc and I still managed to motivate myself to get on the bike. I've rode the bike for 20 minutes everyday this week. Averaging about 4.3 to 4.4 miles a day. Not too bad if I might say so myself. I just need to keep it up. When it gets a little less humid outside I will start going for walks again. Walking really helped me out with feeling healthier and dropping some weight. I dropped 35 pounds last time I really made an effort. I can totally do that again and drop even more. I'm that confident.

I'll also go on record and say I'll have a job by the end of this month. Yep I am that confident. It is time things start working in my favor. Sometimes in order for things to work out for you, you have to go out and get things accomplished. The more of an effort you show the more likely things will work out.

Oh yeah so my last blog I was talking about me trying to sleep in my sister's room. Well I tried sleeping in there again on Wednesday night. Every time I shut my eyes it sounded like someone was screwing around by the door, like messing with the door handle. I would sit up and watch the door to see anything and nothing. As soon as I laid back down I would hear it again. Finally I was like "ok I get the point, you don't want me sleeping in here. Fine I will go somewhere else!". Haven't attempted to sleep in there since that night.

I hope everyone else is enjoying their Friday night. I am just sitting here listening to music while writing this blog. This will probably be my night until I go to bed. I suppose I'm content with this for now. If things work out the way that they should then maybe my Friday nights might be different. I certainly hope so, it is long overdue.


It's been quiet until...

Lately I haven't had to talk about anything ghost related, then again I haven't wrote all too much anyways. It has been fairly quiet in this house or I just haven't been paying all too much attention. I've actually been sleeping in my sister's old room. The room is nice and comfortable. People are probably like "wait did you not say that the room is haunted and yet you are sleeping in there, are you nuts or something?" No I am not nuts and sure I believe there is activity in the room, doesn't mean it is going to scare me from hanging out in there.

Naturally it has been quiet until last night. I went in the room something after 1am to go to sleep. My cat Loco followed me in there and she fell asleep on legs. I laid there for a bit and then decided to close my eyes. Then I heard some noise within the room. I woke up and looked around. I could not see anything. Not sure what the noise was. I wouldn't of made a big deal about it if it was something normal. I went back to close my eyes again and then another noise. This time it sounded like someone might of been screwing around with something by the door. I thought it could of been the other cat but it wasn't. I noticed Loco wasn't freaking out or anything so I was like whatever and decided to try to go back to sleep. As soon as I closed my eyes there was another noise. I couldn't make out what any of these noises were doing though. This time though Loco's reaction was to wake up suddenly and take a running jump off the bed into the chair close by the bed and she sat there and stared at the wall. Mind you she was just laying there sleeping before this happened. At this point I said to myself well I'm not going to get any sleep in here so I went to the couch on the living room. Then when I closed my eyes in there I had these images keep popping up of like scary and creepy faces appearing and like screaming at me to get my attention. Eventually it just stopped and I slept peacefully. I can't describe the faces cause they were changing so fast on me. Either way "they're back".

I've been doing pretty good on the exercising so far. I'm taking baby steps so I don't overdo it. Right now I've been spending 20 minutes a day on the exercise bike. Usually ride for 4.5 miles or close to it. 10 minutes in the morning to start my day and 10 minutes at night time. When it gets a little less humid outside I will probably get back into taking my walks, which are usually about 30 minutes. I figure I add a little bit of weights in there too eventually. Point is trying to make myself feel better and maybe shed some weight. Next will be working on what I've been eating. I haven't done horribly bad on that but I need to get better.

I have some ideas for writing, and I don't mean blogs either. Let's see if this takes me anywhere. I kinda thought to myself that I could probably totally do short stories. Lets see if I can make that happen.

Until next time don't let the ghosts bother you.



Oh blog I have missed you so much. Lack of writing in the past month. I need to change this and get back on track. Now that I am feeling a bit happier I assume I'll be updating a bit more. The past month I went through a stage of depression and I guess I just did not feel like writing about it. That phase is over though and it is time to go to a new phase.

I was going to dedicate a blog to reviewing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows part 2. Scratch that idea. I'll just give some of my thoughts here. I really would like to read the books to know what I have missed out on but they did an awesome job with the series and this final movie. It went out with a big bang. The story has been told. Gold prevailed over evil. The movie was great. Though I was disappointed in one thing and that would of been the very ending. I would of liked to see how more of the characters ended up later in life. Other then that everything else was great. I know compared to the book some things were changed around but I felt the final battle between Harry and Voldemort was a good change. It seemed to me that before Voldemort was destroyed that you could see in his eyes and he knew that he had lost. He looked almost sad in a way. Everything he tried to do had totally backfired on him and he knew it was over. Two characters really stood out in this one. Neville, he totally progressed from being a goofy "loser" to being a total bad ass hero at the end. The other one would of been Snape. In my opinion he was the most complete character in the movies. Sure he did not get a lot of air time but the way his story was told and presented itself was pretty damn good. Alan Rickman deserves an oscar for his performance. The whole scene where Snape dies and shares his memories with Harry is so emotional. I would be lying if I said that I did not shed a tear. Snape was the character you had to hate. He was an asshole to Harry and then he eventually killed Dumbledore. In the end though he was truly a hero because he risked his life everyday to protect Harry and do so in a way that no one ever knew his intentions. So there you have it, if you haven't seen the movie yet go do so.

It has been kinda building for the past few months but me and Reva are officially over. This is part of the reason why I go through periods of where I am not writing. As earlier as the beginning of this year I was unsure what was going to happen and then as things progressed the impending doom was inevitable. There is a lot of things I could possibly say about it. I'm going to take the high road with this one though. Last thing I need is hateful emails or whatever. What is done is done. Frankly I couldn't be happier as weird as that may sound.

Today I begun exercising again. I'll start off slow and then progress into more stuff. The goal is too not only put off a few pounds but to get a bit healthier. I've done it before I certainly can do it again.

Also this will be the month where I finally get out of my slump! Don't believe me, that's fine. It will happen.

Anyways that is all for now. I keep getting distracted. I'll be sure to update more.


The Heat is on

Today's temperature 98 degrees. Heat index was about 109 or so. Ah I love this weather. No seriously it is a good excuse for me to walk around naked. Even if I am not. I'm not going to bitch about it too much cause you know in a few months I'll be saying oh my god it is too cold. The joys of living in Wisconsin. I will go on record now though and say if I had to choose between being too hot or too cold I will stick with being too cold.

Dealing with so much heat and humidity has made me not feel like doing anything. Is this any different then how I normally am though? Seriously though this is the first time that I have even felt like writing since the last time I wrote a blog which was almost 3 weeks ago now. I haven't even felt like doing any of my ghost hunting stuff either. I have so many evps and whatnot to go through but it requires effort and right now if I was graded on effort I would be getting a big fat F. Must find motivation somehow Nick. Go go go!

I discovered a new thing to do online. I got this program called steam and my friend Catina sent me a copy of the game Left 4 Dead 2 so me, her and a few other friends decided to play the game with each other online. It is fun. Going around blowing up zombies. It gets a bit repetitive at times however. There are other games I have found on there that were free to play so I downloaded them. Either way it is a good alternative to WoW which I can proudly say I have been off that game for over a month now. Go me. If the thought of going back ever occurs I say to myself well what am I going to do on there anyways, the same shit I've been doing for years now? Useless game is useless.

I feel like a vampire atm. I'm in my room and I have blankets covering my windows so not a lot of light can get in here. Trying to keep it as cool as possible in here. I'm pretty much living in darkness so I feel like I should be a vampire. Vampire dudes get all the chicks right? Well the whole vampire thing worked for Edward in Twilight even if the girl looks like she has never been in the sun her entire life. I suppose she would fit in perfectly as a vampire then huh? Why in the hell am I talking about Twilight anyways? I'm a guy, I am not suppose to like this shit!

Last week I finally got to see the new Transformers. It was pretty awesome. I enjoyed it. Is there anyone else out there who feels bad when all the good guys die though? When I was a kid I was totally for the good guys in movies, shows, and even wrestling. Then I turned to the "dark side" and I found myself supporting the bad guys. I honestly think the turning point there for me was when Hulk Hogan turned heel and formed the NWO in WCW. I thought that was the coolest thing ever. It felt like it was cool to be the bad guy. The only difference is in like the Harry Potter series I never really cheered the bad guys although I do think Lord Voldemort is a bad ass. I totally got off track. Transformers was a great movie. It was totally panned by critics and loved by everyone else. It is a movie I can't wait to pick up on blu-ray and blast on our tv. I also got to see the new and final Harry Potter. That movie is awesome enough to get it's own blog. Coming soon!

Quite a bit has been on my mind lately but I will not get into that. I'm sure some people were wondering where I had been but I assure everyone that I am still alive and kicking. Until next time stay cool. Stand naked in front of the A/C if you have to!


Remembering Taz

I felt like I should write a short blog dedicated to my sister Mary. 2 years ago yesterday she passed away. Time certainly does go by fast. Sometimes I find myself finding it hard to believe that she is gone. It is like I expect to walk past her room and see her in there. I do believe that her spirit remains in this house though but I will not get into that.

Her nickname was "Taz" and it was for good reason. People who know her knew that she could be a really nice person, laughing and happy but then if someone crossed her path in the wrong way she would go all Tasmanian Devil on them hence the nickname "Taz".

It is sad what had happened to her. She was only 40 years old and despite all her problems and issues she had a lot to offer people. She went down the wrong path in life and she got so far into it she did not know how to find her way out. People tried to help her but she refused the help. I think people really tried to understand what she was going through but it is hard for someone to comprehend it fully unless they deal with the same issues themselves. I myself wish I could of done more for her but I felt like she shut me out of her life for like the last year and a half that she was alive. We lived in the same house but never talked. In fact I felt like she had hated me. I do know she didn't really hate me though. Because of her state of mind and the influence of drugs in her life she projected her own hate of herself onto other people. I don't want to taint people's images of her the only thing I am trying to get at is this is tragic and it is sad how some people end up.

Despite anything that went on and despite anything she may or may not of done people do miss you Mary. I know you are still hanging around and can now actually see how people felt about you. I hope that maybe this gives you a sense of happiness and maybe you don't feel so alone anymore. You don't have to be sad or mad anymore. You touched the hearts of many people in life and because of that you should feel a bit satisfied that you were so important to many people. By the way Mary if you see mom or grandma say hi for me.

Me and you had our differences and like I had said we didn't get along for quite a long time. I do think about it from time to time but for what it is worth I am sorry if I wasn't there for you more. I do remember all the good times though and there was a lot of them. You were the one who introduced me to Metallica. Music that would change my life forever. We had fun getting drunk together on occasion. Good times, lots of laughs. When I was a teenager and needed to spend some time away from home you always let me sleep over. The first and well the only time I ever went to a Packer game at Lambeau was with you, Jay, and Coco. Stuff like that I will never forget and I am sure I can go on and on but people get the picture.

Mary whether you believe it or not you did touch the hearts of many people and I hope you do realize this. We miss you Mary and we love you. You can be at peace and be happy because even if your time here was cut short you had an impact on all of our lifes.



I will annoy someone with this blog, I just know it. Some of my friends do not like the word MEH. It is such a great word though. When you say it to someone it is neither saying yes or no. Isn't it fun to just keep a person guessing? I don't know about you guys but I love giving people a difficult time. I like to see how far I can go before triggering a reaction. I know it can be an annoying quality but who said I wasn't annoying?

So it is now July. This is when summer really begins. The weather gets warmer and then it has to get stupidly humid too. I don't mind the warmth so much it is the humidity that annoys me. I try telling people that the humidity in Wisconsin gets much worse then it does in Florida. People don't understand how I can say that though. In Florida you just get use to it but here ugh. At least the house is nice and comfortable and the air conditioner in my room is ftw.

I must rant about something though. I hate going grocery shopping with my father. It has nothing to do with my father though. It is the place we go to. Pick'N'Save sucks. Most of the people working there seem to be ok but the one thing that irks the heck out of me is trying to checkout in that place. They are suppose to have full service baggers there. They never use them to bag though. They are off doing other random bullshit while people are waiting in line for upwards of 20 minutes waiting to check out. Hell it takes longer to checkout then it does to shop. When I worked at Publix sure they gave baggers other jobs to do but their main job was to stay up there and bag and if they weren't up in front one of the managers or whatever would get off their ass and actually call them up to the front. The main priority was to help the people out so they can get in checkout and get out as quickly as possible. Waiting 20 minutes in a grocery checkout line is pretty stupid. Either hire more baggers or stop having them run around the store doing god knows what and actually do what they should be doing. No one should wait 20 minutes in a grocery checkout line.

4th of July is in a few days. I use to love the holiday. Would wake up in the morning to go to the local park to watch the parade. One time I remember walking around the block with a flag pretending we were having a parade. We always had cookouts and of course there was the fireworks. My father use to work in this water tower like a mile away. We use to go there to watch fireworks. If you went inside the building and up a few floors you could see most fireworks around the city. It was so much fun. I guess as I got older fireworks got more boring and the 4th was just not the same anymore. Although me and my father are going to somewhat celebrate it by having a cookout. Cooking up brats, hot dogs, steak, ribs, hamburgers, and some chicken. A lot of food for just two people but that is ok.

Again before I end this blog I have to emphasize how much I love the word MEH. If people get irritated when I say it, it only makes me want to say it more and more. Just a word of warning to my friends. Back in the days at Publix me and my friend Anthony had a system for the word MEH and EH. If the day was kinda shitty it would be a MEH day. If the day was alright or had potential then we would use EH. We also used EH if a hot chick would come walking into our aisle. Anyways until next time all that is left to say is...MEH!