12/12/2016

Goodbye to you

Dear Jess,

I sat here for a few moments trying to think of how I wanted to start this. I want you to know that you are good. Really good. Not great though. As you left breadcrumbs which made it possible for me to find out the truth. What is the truth? See I usually am respectful to others. I also know that when the situation warrants I should speak directly what is on my mind. So the truth is this, you are a lying fucking cunt.

How fucking dare you come into my life and do the things that you did to me. Do you even realize that you nearly fucking ruined me? I'm sure you don't care. Why the fuck would you care about some random guy that lives hundreds of miles away? In fact I know you don't care. You never cared at all about anything that went on for the last few months. It was all a game. One big fucking joke. Well ha I'm glad you had your laugh or whatever it was that you were doing when you were talking to me. Was that you talking to me or was that your husband? For all I know it was probably the both of you. Whatever, you are one sick twisted bitch. Do you know that?

How did you almost ruin me? I went back to some of my old habits. Being depressed all the time, starting to hate life again, shutting people out, etc. Do you know what saved me? Other then some pretty awesome friends, my mom did and my meditation. My mom despite the fact that she is gone guided me through all of this. So did my meditation. It was what saved me from myself. 

I'll be honest I did have my doubts about you though. There was a lesson that had to be learned on my end which is why I stuck with it. Some people may call me foolish and/or stupid but the path I went down with you was what I needed to do. It was what I was told to do. Somebody like you would never understand it anyway. I of course had my doubts. I mean you directly lied to me about quite a few things and I did pick up on it. You claimed to love me and wanted to someday marry me but yet no email address, no phone number, no last name, and you could only voice chat with me at certain times. Why was that Jess? What is it that you were hiding? 

Funny thing is around the time that I started talking to you is when I started to watch the show Catfish on tv. I kept questioning myself as to why I was watching the show. I couldn't turn away though, I had to watch these episodes of these people getting sucked in by people online. I always thought that gee these people are pretty stupid. Not realizing that I was watching it cause my subconscious was trying to tell me something.

I searched and searched for answers. Reverse google searches. Scanning your twitter to see if there was a slip up somewhere. Any sort of hints to what was going on. You seemed distant at times trying to tell me it was your depression, something had happened to you, etc. There was always some excuse for everything. Your reasoning for not replying or reading messages on kik, not liking or wanting to be on facebook, not really wanting to talk to me on twitter, the list just goes on and on. Removing me as a battlenet friend not once but twice. Blocking me on twitter and then saying it was a mistake. I knew deep down that something was not right. Then there it was on your twitter one day. A picture of you with a wedding ring. I know you probably put that picture on twitter on purpose cause you could no longer keep up with this game. I assume you suckered in a lot of people and it was getting hard to balance it.

It took me a little bit to process all of it. I dealt with some serious depression. I mean the woman that I had grown to love and had actually talked about a life with was actually fucking married. It explained everything though. Suddenly disappearing on wow, voice chatting at certain times, not responding to some of my texts or other messages, why you had a facebook profile with a fake name. It certainly explains all the times you attempted to push me away and tell me you couldn't do a relationship anymore. I should of walked away but there you were insisting that you were still in love with me and you couldn't go through life without me. Almost making it seem like you would die without me in your life. I have to ask you this. Are you going to die without me in your life now?

When I found your real facebook profile and your husband's profile I'm not sorry that the flood gates opened and people who actually cared about me went to his wall and said all sorts of shit. A lot of people care about me and you hurt me. Hurt me very badly. When I hurt other people hurt too. I'm glad that they did it. You deserved to be called out. If your husband was involved with it too then he deserved to be called out. You people are a bunch of sick fucks.

When I first started talking to you I wasn't lying about feeling a connection with you. All that shit I told you was legit. All the shit I told you about meditation, visions, dreams, etc...it was legit. I just didn't read it well enough. Well actually I kept hearing the voice in my head of my mom to be patient and she did actually tell me that you were the one. I took it was being the one for me. No you were the one thing I had to go through in my life to get me to the next phase of my life. Thank you Jess.

The dreams and the visions that I had involving you, I didn't make that up. It was real. I overlooked a few key elements in them though. The past life dream and vision, one of them ended up with me taking a sword for you and nearly dying. The other one ended up with me drowning trying to save you. I at first took it as a sign that we were meant to be each other. I was wrong. It was a sign of danger. I was actually risking my own life. If past lifes are for real then we encountered each other in a past life and you put me in danger before. I'm glad that in this life time that possible danger has cease to exist.

I lied to you about something though. My visions in my meditations were all true. I didn't tell you the full story about one of them though cause it actually scared me. The one of us walking hand in hand in the snow. That did happen. I tried to tell myself that it most likely meant that we were going to meet soon and possibly in the winter. Well thats not the only thing that happened in that vision. We stopped to look at a grave in the vision. There was no markings on the grave. I took this as an omen as to something bad was going to happen in "our relationship". Funny part is that this situation for me came to a close with me finding out the truth while we were in the middle of a snowstorm.

I know that your cousin died. I'm sorry about that. It was probably a turning point for you to realize that karma had come to kick you in the ass for some of the shit you were pulling. You do what I mean right? Telling me and everybody else that your mom died. Your mom didn't die. You lied about that. You lied about that whole situation so you had some sort of connection with me. I mean you even had this letter that somebody supposedly wrote to you telling you that your mother deserved to die. How fucked up is that? What you were doing to me was finding out things in my life and then making shit up so there was some sort of connection with me. You could use it to get close to me and suck me in. It worked. I did get sucked in but thanks to me having some smarts and cause of the shit I do in my daily life I knew things were off but I had to stick with it to find out the truth. I finally did.

I do feel a bit sorry for you Jess. You decide to chose a life like this. What I mean is lying to people, sucking people in and getting them to fall for you, etc. If you did it as a joke its not very funny. Its not funny to toy with people's feelings. One day if you continue to do this shit and I really hope that you don't, you are going to really fuck with someone to the point that they will feel completely broken and they will end up taking their own life. Don't think it will happen? I bet it will at some point unless you decide to change now. There is still hope for you. I am sure somewhere hidden deep inside is an actual loving, caring person. Why you chose the darkness instead of the light is beyond me. If you don't want to change for yourself then do it for your kids. Ask yourself do you want to raise your kids to do some of the same things that you have done? It is not alright. We have enough sick and twisted people in the world, please don't raise them to be sick and twisted. I may not be a parent but I certainly wouldn't subject my kids to this shit. You may love your kids but you should raise kids by your own example. I certainly hope that your kids never find out about your darkside Jess. I would hate to see who they terrorize when they are older. So I'd change now before it is too late.

There is a lot more that I could say but I think I've made my point. I'm really hurt right now but the pain will subside. I knew that the end was coming anyway, even before you posted that picture on twitter. Remember the day not too long ago when you told me that you were in the hospital? I'm not really sure if that was the truth or a lie but that day I felt a sharp pain in my heart. Me believing your story I thought that the pain was cause of what was going on with you, it wasn't. I think I knew deep down that this whole situation was going to come to a head soon. I just didn't want to accept it. It did come to a head didn't it? You "broke up" with me, blocked me on twitter, then we were together again cause you couldn't be without me, and then removed me from battlenet. 

This is me saying goodbye to you. Don't contact me. Don't try to find me on WoW. Don't try to text me on kik. Don't message me on twitter. Don't contact me on facebook. Don't contact my friends, my family, etc. Stay the fuck away from me. You've done enough damage. One day if you want to give me an actual sincere apology I may actually accept it. It had better be sincere cause I guarantee you that I will see through that shit. From this point on I won't try to contact you or anything. I'm done. I don't wish any ill will to you or anything of that nature. I hope your life goes well. I also hope that you either change or get the help that you need cause you certainly aren't right in the head. Funny you did tell me that you were fucked up in the head. That is one thing you were truthful about. Goodbye Jess.

-Nick


3 comments:

  1. I don't see my comment ............ well said....... lesson learned and we are here for you no matter what ............ Shame on you Jess

    ReplyDelete
  2. Keep your chin up, we got your back bro.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good riddance to that scathing whore, she deserves every bit of bad coming to her. Your the best Nickster <3 You've got friends, and people around you whom love you with every bit of our hearts. Your mom was there the whole time watching over you. Jessica obviously is lacking empathy or any real human emotion, she's a sociopath, and narcissistic liar. Your pure of heart, and genuinely wonderful. Don't ever forget that. #TeamNick!!!

    ReplyDelete