9/21/2016

Nothing else matters

Few weeks back I had ended a blog by saying that I was in love again. I never did elaborate on it nor did I even talk about it in my last blog. Today since I am in the Dells dealing with a bit of crappy weather I figured that I would take the time to talk about it a bit. Warning though if you really don't want to hear about my love life then it is probably best for you to stop reading now. I'm not entirely sure what I am going to write. Most of the times when I write my blogs I wing it and I write down thoughts and feelings as I blog. This is going to be one of those blogs.

Back on July 26th, yes I do remember the day we met as I tend to keep track of the things like this...you'll get use to it after awhile, I got a random message from somebody on WoW. "I love your guild name can I join your guild". So yeah thats how we met. A random message on WoW. Little did I know at the time a simple message on the game would transform into something so much more. As much time as I spend on WoW and talking to people it was bound to happen. Messages turned into long conversations and it didn't take very long to develop feelings. I don't know what it was really but I felt like there was a deep connection there and I know that sounds silly to some people but I don't care, I'm being honest here. Thankfully I wasn't the only one that realized the connection.

Before I go any further I must say this. Her name is Jess and yes she is now my girlfriend. We became official last week. It only took weeks of me nagging her to make it official before we finally did. Ok, I wasn't really nagging was I? I just wanted the world to know that she was mine.

We both realized that there was a connection between us. I was drawn to her almost like instantly. It didn't take very long for me to realize that I was falling in love with her. Course I was scared to say that to her. The L word is scary. It gets tossed around too much. Truth be told when I said it to my ex-wife for the first time, I lied. She had said it to me and I felt bad that I didn't say it in return so I ended up saying it without meaning it. I didn't want to say it to Jess unless I absolutely meant it. Then the morning came where I felt like it was the right moment to say something so I did. The end result? She ended up saying it back to me. I already knew that she did. I'm Nick, I just know this stuff.

Jess is a very beautiful woman. Not just on the outside though. She is kind, good hearted, sweet, funny, etc. She makes me feel loved. Not many people in my life have done that for me this includes people who have claimed to love me. She is everything that I've been searching for my entire life. I really do mean that from the bottom of my heart. I don't bullshit people to tell them what I think they want to hear. I am sincere with what I'm saying.

There are complications, isn't there always some sort of complications? Long distance relationship. She lives in Canada, I do not. Do those things bother me? Well I think what I've written so far gives my answer. With patience and time these complications can be just a temporary inconvenience. Honestly yeah it sucks that I can't see her on a daily basis. I can't hold her in my arms, I can't kiss her, etc but the way I see it things won't be like this forever. I'm just happy to be in love again and to have someone special in my life. One that I do believe is going to last for a very very long time.

I know not everybody understands. I know not everybody approves. I also know that I don't really care if people approve or disapprove of anything that I am doing. I know in my heart and in my gut that what I am doing is the right thing and thats what I am going by. I believe that Jess and I are going to last for a very long time. Its not something that I am hopeful for, its something that I just know. People are just going to have to eventually trust my judgement here. If they can't? Well then they can't. I won't let it get in the way of what I want.

This part is specifically for you Jess. I love you. I really do love you. I'm not afraid to say that and have a bunch of people read it. You've become a major part of my life very quickly and I am grateful for that. You make me smile. You make me happy. You make me feel loved. You've basically taught me how to love again after almost giving up on it. You bring a light to my life that wasn't there before. I can't wait to be with you in person and I can't wait to see what life holds for us in the future. Whatever comes our way we will face it together.

Last night I was woken up by the rain and the thunder. I laid there in bed watching it and listening to it. I couldn't help but think of you. You being here with me. Me holding you in my arms, kissing you, and touching you. One day I know this will be reality and not some thoughts and feelings.

As I end this blog which I'm sure some of you at this point are glad that this is coming to an end I want to say why I picked nothing else matters as a title. Obviously I got it from the Metallica song but I am remembered of the first I love you text I got from Jess. She had told me that she didn't want to jump into a relationship at that moment but she was in love with me. I replied back with reading what you just said to me...nothing else matters. The entire world could be coming undone around me and nothing else would matter cause I know I have someone special in my life.

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