4/19/2015

Overwhelmed

The sound of rain is upon us on this Sunday night. Well it is being drowned out at the moment by me listening to Tibetan bowl. Prior to me coming to my computer I was standing in the hallway on the steps leading up to my room and I had the window opened so I could hear the rain. Really peaceful and relaxing. Motivating too since now I am here writing.

Today was an up and down day with my emotions. It all started with my morning walk. While I was on my walk I thought to myself "I haven't seen any cats roaming the neighborhood in a long time". I don't know why I thought of it, well actually I guess I do cause as I continued my walk I did see a cat roaming around. He/she was a white cat with some dark spots. The cat was crossing the street coming over to where I was about to be passing by. The cat stopped and was sitting in the middle of the road. Not knowing if it was a stray or just some cat that neighbors let roam around, I say that last part cause people around this area do let their cats roam, I tried to get the cat to come over by me but the cat would not budge. I decided to move on but I did look back a few times to make sure the cat was not sitting there in the middle of the road.

As I got home I was torn by my decision to let the cat go about his business. You don't normally see a lot of strays in this area so I assume the cat was not a stray but what if he was a stray? What could I have done though? I mean I suppose I could of got in my car and drove around to find this cat. My decision to let the cat go on and not go back to check on him really got to me. I love animals. I hate seeing on the news about dogs being stolen, missing cats, etc. Animals being tortured and/or killed. The stuff really does bother me quite a bit. So I spent the majority of the day questioning my decision but stood by it because I was pretty sure that the cat was just doing his/her normal routine through the neighborhood. I don't know about everyone else but I know I could never let my cats roam around like that cause I would be too afraid they would never make it home

So that is how I spent the majority of my day. I was wondering if the cat was alright and hoping that the cat made it back home. Many hours later I am pretty sure the cat is fine. Ok so maybe I don't know it for sure but it is something that I am pretty confident about. I dunno, I just know things, ok?!?

I had things I was going to do today and I didn't do any of them. Hey at least I got to writing though. My father and I had Chinese food for dinner and afterwards I decided to go sit on my couch for awhile. Well that ended up being a 3 hour unexpected nap. Wasn't planning it, just kinda happened. Actually was much needed after the on and off emotions of what had happened earlier. Cleared my mind a bit. Course now the downside is I probably won't get to bed until really late tonight. Oh well.

I never use to take naps. In fact I hated them. I hated them for the reason that whenever I would take a nap I would feel sick when I woke up. I still kinda feel like that from time to time now too but it is not as bad as it use to be. Don't know why I would feel that way. As I've gotten older naps have become something that I appreciate.

Of course I was woken up by a crazy ass dream that I had. What I remember is in the dream I was inquiring about hooking up with my old guitar teacher for guitar lessons again. Something I've actually thought about doing. Pretty sure he still teaches. Anyways in the dream it cuts to an area right by where my lessons would be located. This is when stuff gets crazy. There is a misty dark forest, which btw there is nothing over by this area. The dream just kinda switches directions to a new location. In this forest are a bunch of cops and then a bunch of people. They are shooting at each other. Many people are dying. People are shooting each other with shotguns. One of the guys goes up to a wounded cop and said something like "we know what you guys have been doing for the last 40 years and people are going to find out about it". The cop gets shot but then the guy ends up getting shot. Just before I woke up a bunch of apes enter the dream and they are running around carrying guns shooting at people.

Crazy dream, right? Lets look up specific meanings.

To see an ape in your dream indicates deception, mischievous, and falsehood. Alternatively, it may refer that you or someone have gone "ape".  You need to calm down. The ape may also symbolize your wild inner nature, particularly your sexual nature.

To see the police in your dream symbolizes structure, rules, power, authority and control. You need to put an end to your reckless behavior or else the law will catch up to you. Alternatively, the dream refers to failure in honoring your obligation and commitments.

To see a shooting in your dream indicates that you have a set goal and know what to aim for in life. Your plans are right on target!

To see or shoot a shotgun in your dream means that you need to better focus your energies toward your goal.

Even the craziest of dreams are the most meaningful. I find it funny that this dream caused me to wake up. Before I fell asleep I had a plan of stuff that I was going to do for the remainder of the of the night but because I fell asleep it got pushed back so this dream was basically in a way saying "hey asshole, wake up and be productive".

Dreaming of seeing the apes make sense cause of "you need to calm down" part. It is true cause before I went on my nap my emotions were out of whack. I failed to mention how earlier in the day I was watching people react to the new Star Wars trailer and some of those people started tearing up which caused me to tear up. Dear lord Nick, get a grip. Cops being shot with shotguns makes total sense too. Cause I was asleep instead of being productive and doing what I should of been doing I was failing to honor some of my own commitments. The shooting and the shotgun represent my plans and goals. If I can keep on track with my obligations and commitments then I will achieve my goals.

Some pretty deep stuff for a dream involving shootings between cops, people, and apes.

Ended up being a long blog thanks to my crazy dream I had while napping and me feeling overwhelmed by some of my emotions during the day. I feel a lot better now and I can hear the rain again since my Tibetan bowl just ended. All is well. Think I will put on some wireless headphones a little bit later and turn on Rocksmith. Enjoy your night people! I know at least 1 or 2 people will read this.

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