You are in control

When I am not listening to my typical music which consists of stuff like Metallica, Maiden, Sabbath, 80s music, etc, I am listening to what I would describe as meditation type stuff. I'm not even sure what really got me started into listening to it but its become an important part of my routine. I've been saying in previous blogs that I was going to talk about it so here I am.

This started at the beginning of October. I was under a lot of stress which was causing my anxiety to skyrocket. My sister had just lost one of her cats and since I was there for his final moments, it really effected me. Then I was reading about conspiracy stuff and dealing with a little bit of a heartache of my own. I came across something on youtube so I decided to have a listen.

For the majority of the month of October I was listening to this one hour video with Tibetan bowls. I didn't go search it out, I just kinda found it. I didn't think I would really get into it either but I did and I made it a habit of listening to it which I still continue to do. I find it to be very relaxing and it is soothing. Calms me down and my anxiety plummets.

A few times while listening to it I've fallen asleep and there is just nothing. I hear music and there are no thoughts, dreams, or anything else. I get lost in the sounds. The first couple of times listening to while at my computer I've closed my eyes and had what I would just call images. These images consisted of stuff that I really love to do. Like it was showing my sitting at a fire pit enjoying a nice fire. I wasn't alone in these images though. There was a woman there with me. Blonde hair, that is all I really remember about her. No one that I recognize. Images flash by so quickly at times that I don't really remember what I am seeing. There is a brief flash of a world war 2 concentration camp. No idea what that means. It will appear again later in this blog. Then there is an image of this blond hair woman. She is wearing a wedding dress. Is this suppose to be a vision of my wedding? Something I'd like to happen? Both maybe? Something in my past? I really don't know myself. These are the main images that I remember. Some of them were really way too fast.

I continued to listen to this stuff. Never really did go back to having images while listening to this one specific video. I find myself listening to the Tibetan bowl while doing other things online, such as playing WoW. Helps make WoW more enjoyable when dealing with assholes. There was a period during December and January that I didn't listen to it as much. I recently started listening to it on a daily basis. Must say it has helped me get through the month of February, which typically for me is not a fun month. At least one person has said they noticed a change in my attitude. I'd like to think it has helped out.

Now to the main part of this entire story. I've been told that I am a natural psychic. I believe it too. There are just too many instances in my life where I have said something was going to happen just due to how I felt about a subject or I just randomly say something is going to happen and it does happen. I do this a lot with movies and music. Plus people know from reading previous blogs about all my ghost experiences. I have some psychic ability, actually I believe most of us probably do, just some do not tap into it as much as others.

One night not too long ago I stumbled across a video about unlocking your third eye. It sounded interesting to me. I also know that if you attempt to open up something like this there are potential unwanted situations that may arise. Encountering spirits you would rather not mess with, etc. I told myself that I was not afraid and I am really curious so I decided to listen to the video.

The video itself is an hour long just like the Tibetan bowl video I listen to. Its filled with a bunch of repetitive sounds that are oddly comforting. I noticed that shortly into listening to this video that the back of my head, where your 3rd eye is suppose to be located, started to develop a dull pain. Wasn't anything major. About 30 minutes into the video is when things started to get interesting. I start feeling light and tingly, mainly in my hands and my arms. Occasionally I was getting a cold chill go up and down my spine. That isn't even the weird stuff, I decided to close my eyes.

I find myself in a dark room. Total blackness. Out of nowhere Freddy Krueger appears and he slashes at me. Like the majority of my dreams involving him now a days it does not effect me. Brief back story, my brother traumatized me as a kid with the Freddy movies. I use to have terrible nightmares involving him. At least one time I woke up screaming in the middle of the night. As years passed I was able to control these dreams and he was a little less scary. Anyways back to what was going on currently. After his failed slashing attempt Freddy says to me "you've been afraid of me for such a long time and you've never had anything to fear". He continues by telling me that I've always been in control and if I try I can overcome all of my fears.

Drowning in water. The image cuts to me drowning in water. I've had such a terrible fear of water my entire life. I've never understood why. I just can't be in water unless it is in a controlled environment like a hot tub. So I am in the water and I see myself struggling. It looks like I am in deep water. My arms are flapping all around and so are my legs. I can't swim so I am struggling. Suddenly I somehow find my strength and I get out of the water. Images of me being in water flash a few times. Same thing every time. I struggle but yet manage to find my way out of the water.

Anti-social, problems with various people, my mom, etc. We start having a conversation about me avoiding social situations in life. He tells me that I avoid socially interacting with people cause I am afraid if I say something stupid I'll embarrass myself, which is true. I do avoid talking to people cause of that very reason. He goes on to tell me that people are generally interested in talking to me cause I am good at making people laugh and I usually have interesting things to say. True, I've been told I have interesting stories to tell people. I've just always been the quiet one. I have an easier time communicating with people by writing, hence why I love writing blogs. At some point during this I open up my eyes and I said to myself "what the fuck?".

I was intrigued by what was going on so I close my eyes again. There is the dark room again and there is Freddy again. We continue having a conversation about my social anxiety. Then we start having a conversation about other things like my mom. To this day I still have regrets that I didn't do as much as I could for my mom. To be honest though, it wouldn't of changed the outcome. Between diabetes, her heart problems, and cancer she wasn't going to last through all of those issues. I think in the conversation that I had with Freddy he pointed this out to me and said to me that regardless of what I do my mom will always love and support me. Basically the conversation I was having with him was stuff that I already knew.

The next day I knew I would make it a point to close my eyes again while listening to this video. Wanted to see if I could get some of the same results or maybe something different. My first mistake though was being logged on facebook during this. You'll see what I mean as you continue reading.

I close my eyes and once again I am in a dark room. Freddy comes out and slashes at me just like the previous encounter. He then says to me "you are no longer afraid of me, this is good it means you are in control". I keep hearing the words repeated to me "you are in control". I then see me drowning in the water again. Same result though, I find a way out of the water. Then there is a flash of a Jewish concentration camp. I am pretty sure it is empty and the image of this is brief.

My old house. Somewhere in my blogs I talk about my old house that is supposedly haunted. Lots of weird stuff went down there. The next image is of the yard looking across the street to the school. I am at my old house, well actually I don't see myself in this image but I am there. Freddy is there with me. He asks me about my old house being haunted and I told him that a lot of weird stuff happened there. I think I mention something about possibly a guy committing suicide in the house back in the 20s. I'm not sure how true that story is. I notice that things just seem blurry. Like I am there but its not a clear picture. I believe at this time I have a few flashes of me as a kid. Mainly outside in the yard.

We walk into the house and we are in the front room of the house. It looks the same as when we lived there. There is a bed in the left corner of the room. I don't remember the other furniture though. There is a bathroom in the right corner of the room. We walk out of that room into the hallway. There are the stairs leading to the upstairs on my left and then the stairs to the basement and the side door. Something is mentioned about the basement but we decide not to go down there. We walk into the next room which would be the downstairs kitchen. This is when the layout of the house becomes clouded. I don't remember how many rooms are on this floor or what room goes where. I remember the kitchen layout though but have trouble picturing the arrangement of the other rooms. I said to Freddy that I remember the upstairs better, maybe we should go there.

We are now in the family room upstairs. It seems as if we ported there. The family room consisted of our living room and then the dining room. Not sure if I see the furniture layout in the living room but I do see the kitchen table. Yeah, we had a kitchen upstairs and downstairs in that house. We then walk into the next room which would be the kitchen. Nothing special about this room, just a typical kitchen. We then walk into the front bedroom. It was my brother Bobby's old room. At one point I do remember sharing a bunk bed in that room with my sister. The latch and stairs to the attic are in that room. Freddy and I have a conversation about my brothers and sisters and what they heard the first night that they lived in that house. On the first night in the house my brothers and sisters said that they were hearing walking around in the attic and it sounded like someone was dragging chains on the floor. It scared them so much that they stayed with each other the rest of the night, even going to the bathroom together. We pull the stairs down and slowly decide to walk up the stairs to go into the attic.

This is when facebook decides to go ding cause someone sent me a message. It startled me so I opened up my eyes. Everything that had just happened did so in a matter of just minutes. It felt so real and it felt like I was really back inside that house. I am curious as to what was going to be seen in the attic, if anything at all.

Since that night while listening to this video and closing my eyes Freddy has made appearances. They don't always start off with him slashing at me though. Its been random conversation just about life. Actually he has asked me a few times if I wanted to revisit my old house and I've said no cause I wanted to get this all written down and documented before making any further discoveries. Plus I must admit that I may be a little bit hesitate as to what might be seen if we do go into the attic. Maybe one of the next times that I listen to that stuff I may decide to further the adventure.

I know that some people will read all of this and either laugh or think I am on drugs. That is fine. I know this stuff does sound a bit crazy. I think it is interesting. I mean I turn on this stuff and right away I am presented with some of my fears. Guess it makes sense if I am listening to something that is suppose to open up an untouched part of my brain. We'll see what happens. I mean other then a few "visions", some images, etc, this has been a very helpful way of overcoming some of my anxiety and reducing my stress. That is a good thing.

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