5/19/2014

Blue Monday

Today is a curl up in a ball on the couch type of day. That is exactly what I did not too long ago. Skies are grey and we are getting the occasional rainstorm. It is decent outside but if you leave the windows opened a cool breeze comes in. It was far too cold to keep the windows opened though. It has been definitely what I call a blue Monday.

I sense much anger in you. I would say I wake up on the wrong side of the bed some mornings, but this is basically impossible for me to do. I sleep on a couch. Yeah it is a futon but if I were to convert it into a bed, it would take up too much space in my room. So I am sleeping on a couch with only one side to get off on. Maybe that is one of my issues? Maybe I need an actual bed to sleep on? Well to be honest I've never really been a bed sleeper anyways. Always slept on couches. This probably explains a lot huh? Back to the original subject, I've been pretty angry today. Started when I woke up and lasted until sometime in the afternoon. Now instead of being angry I am dealing with headaches. I am going to say stress related. Self inflicted stress most likely. People I think are just irritating me lately. Even the little things are getting to me. I constantly tell myself, Nick just chill the hell out. Thats what it comes down to, I need to chill out and relax. A lot of it is having to do with the guild I am running on WoW. People are totally driving me nuts. I'm questioning my sanity for allowing myself to be put back into a position of running a guild. I know I can do it but sometimes I just want to scream really loud, or get a fire pit going and start pushing people into the fire.

Sometimes anger leads to production. I haven't sat around all day and been like "I hate the world!", I actually managed to put it to some good use. I went outside and cut the grass. I didn't really want to do it in the first place but I figured being outside may of been a good way to change my mood a bit. It was nice outside so that was a plus. Suppose to be nice outside for the majority of the week too. Maybe that is what I need to do, spend more time outside. I've also been wanting to go shopping to get a few more things for our get togethers, like more lawn chairs and more tiki torches. I hopped in the car, blasted some Metallica, and headed to Target to go buy some more stuff. Metallica car therapy always helps.

Curling up in a ball on the couch. I think I was just drained due to stress, that I shouldn't even be having in the first place, and I decided by mid afternoon to curl up in a ball on the couch and fall asleep. First I made sure to take some pills and then I sat on the couch, literally curled up in a ball. I fell asleep for a little bit. I think like an hour and a half of sleeping on and off. I think my other issue has been lack of sleep. My body probably hates me right now and is trying to tell me, Nick get some sleep God damn it! It was nice to get a little bit of a nap in there. Oh I forgot to mention in here somewhere that I woke up feeling a bit sickish this morning. I am going to blame it on all the junk food we have in the house. We really need to stop buying garbage. I need to be staying away from this crap but if I get bored I am tempted to eat random stuff. Temptation sucks.

Upcoming fire therapy. See all is not so bad in the world of Nick though. This upcoming Sunday we are going to have our Memorial Day get together a day early. We are having a cookout and I get to have some more much needed fire therapy. I don't think I have enough wood though and I will need to go out and buy some more before this weekend. Unless I decide to start taking apart random stuff in the house to burn. While that idea is tempting, I will stick with going out to buy wood. Oh and the weather looks to be perfect for this upcoming Sunday. Hooray for that. Sunday will be our first cookout since probably September or something.

Think my title for the blog was a bit deceiving. I stole the title from the song "Blue Monday". I figured it went well cause it is Monday and its a bit grey outside and I've been sorta pissy and antisocial. So the title is fitting! At least I'm not battling depression, right? I'm fine, I've chilled out for now at least. Lets hope things don't change.

I shall end this with a quote. Yes, a Star Wars quote.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

2 comments:

  1. Outside is good. Fire is good. Chicken good. WoW, not so good. :P

    All anti-WoW jokes aside, you need breaks, bro.

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    Replies
    1. I'm not allowed to have breaks! Yeah I do need some sort of a break, plus I suppose it would help if I learned to chill the hell out more.

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