4/19/2014

About a girl

I know I talk about WoW quite a bit, but there is one thing that I have not really talked about and that is why my co-gm of my guild is my co-gm. I figured this would make for a good story, actually I was told I should write this so here I am.

Every so often someone comes into your life and makes an immediate impact and you put them in a special place in your heart. You find yourself wanting to talk to them all the time, or hang out with them, and you want to know what is going on in their life, the good and the bad. Seeing as how I did not ask her permission to use her name I won't use it, although I believe her name is mentioned somewhere in one of my previous blogs. People who actually know me or who are in my guild know exactly who I am talking about so its not like I am totally trying to hide.

Back in December I was on the verge of leaving the game. I had grown bored of the game and just generally unhappy with the direction of my guild. Then she came into the guild. We didn't really start talking right away but we had a few conversations. It wasn't until I made a post on the guild facebook group that we began to talk a bit more. She seemed like a pretty cool chick so I decided that I am stick around in the game just to see what happens. We had this whole Christmas party/present giveaway thing we were doing and I rigged it a bit so she could get one of the cooler gifts. I didn't want her to get something lame. Such a sweet guy I am.

Over time we started hanging out and talking on a regular basis. We had this fake bickering thing going on in guild chat where we would go back and forth about how we hated each other. Which prompted people to say things like oh just be a couple already, get married already, etc. We totally would both laugh it off. Btw, few months later and people still make their little comments. More recently one of the females in our guild acted surprised when I told her that we weren't a couple cause it seemed like we were. Anyways besides the bickering thing we both constantly would troll each other by trying to get each other killed. I am pretty sure I started this one. I took her out to the middle of nowhere on a flying mount and dropped us both to our death. She of course got her revenge on me by doing the same thing and then I retaliate by thinking of new creative ways to kill her in the game.

Of course I developed feelings for her. I can be pretty obvious too when I am feeling something for someone. It was not something that I had planned on. It happened. In the past few years I kinda shut myself off from feeling anything for anyone. Sure there has been a few interests here and there but I never really got too emotionally involved. Things have changed. I allowed myself to feel again. I've been pretty honest with her about how I feel too. Normally I tend to keep a lot of that stuff to myself cause I am afraid of being hurt and I am afraid of rejection but I've been honest with her about it. I know it sounds silly to some people. How can you fall for someone over the internet? How can you fall for someone you've never met? How can you fall for someone on WoW? These things happen more often then people realize. It is fairly easy to develop an emotional attachment and attraction to someone you've been talking to online. She really is an amazing person. Both of us have been through a lot of shit in our life so it is nice to just have someone that I can talk to without having to worry bout them judging me. I wish there was more I could do for her when she is going through her shit. I'd totally be the one to hold her and let her cry on my shoulder if she needed it.

I'm painting too much of a perfect picture scenario here. I think everyone knows that nothing in life is ever perfect and easy. She does not live in the same state as me and besides that it is really kinda complicated. I wouldn't change anything bout how I feel though. Its there and hey while it may not be perfect it doesn't mean that it doesn't feel right. I realize the reality of the situation and I am happy out of all of this I have met an amazing friend. Would it be great if things might be different? Of course it would but I have to be realistic and there is a good chance that things may not be different then what they are now. If anything I have met someone who will forever hold a special place in my heart, unless of course she ends up shooting me. Inside joke, she would understand it.

So I don't know if I ever really went over why she is my co-gm. I went over me having feelings for her and whatnot. She is my co-gm not only because of our friendship but the fact that the two of us are very similar and think alike. Oh and we are assholes. We like to take people into raids just for the sole purpose of getting them killed for our own amusement. Yeah we are evil but its so much fun. When I started my new guild I didn't have to think twice about making her my co-gm.

I said we think alike a lot of the time. Well it is downright freaky at times to be honest. While I've had people that I've been talking to think something similar to me, it just never happens on a daily basis. Well with her it happens almost daily. Most of the time it will be us on facebook chat typing something and when we both hit send it is basically the same exact thing. Sometimes it is word for word too. I think I've answered a few of her questions to me before she even sent me the question or one of us asks a question or says something and we would be like hey I was just going to say that. This is just not a one time thing, it happens all the time! I've told her that she scares me and needs to get out of my head.

With all those things how can I not have her as my co-gm? We think alike, we are great friends, we like to fuck with people, etc. I couldn't possibly think of anyone better to help me run the guild. I know people might think since there are feelings involved that it could spell disaster in the future but I guess my response to that would be that I will do my best to never let that happen. It may very well happen at some point in the future. Am I going to worry about it? Not at all. I am going to continue to do what I am doing and I am going to have fun in the process. Since she came into my life the game is once again fun for me. As long as the game is fun and I am having fun all is well.

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