Normally I write my birthday blogs on the day of my birthday but I was busy yesterday and then last night I was drunk. I suppose I could of wrote something while I was drunk, that could of been somewhat entertaining and amusing. I wanted the blog to actually make a little bit of sense, do my blogs make sense at all though? Or is it just me rambling on about life? I don't know but lets talk about the beginning of my 35th year of life.

My birthday started off on a rocky note thanks to my own personal demons. Jealousy is a bitch. It is going to happen though. At least I'll sit here and admit it. First step to working through your issues is admitting that they exist, right? Anyways I am working through it and I worked through it at the time and all is alright for now. No need to really go over this again.

Despite my gout still effecting me I decided to go for a walk to begin my birthday. I am not entirely sure if that was a good or a bad idea. My foot hurt like hell afterwards but when I used ice my foot felt fine and it felt ok for the rest of the day. Glad that my foot problems didn't put a damper on my day at all.

I went to see the new Captain America movie. I was debating if I should go to the movies or not and then said to myself "dude, it is your birthday, you are allowed to go out and enjoy yourself". So I did. Let me say that it was a gorgeous day outside yesterday. I had the windows opened in the car and I was blasting Metallica. I got to the theater and I told the lady what I wanted to see and she gave me a ticket to see Brick Mansions. Um hello, I said Captain America. So since I am such a bad ass I still went to see Captain America despite the fact that I did not actually have a ticket to see it. Oh such a rebel Nick! The movie was really good. To be totally honest I don't even remember the first movie all too well but this one was definitely worth it.

After the movie I decided to go to the cemetery to visit my mom. I felt like I should go see her on my birthday. There is this cross that she gave me for I think it was either Christmas or my birthday and it was one of the last gifts I received from her so it is something that has a significant meaning to me. I often take it with me while traveling. I almost feel like it is some sort of protection and remembrance that she is always watching over me. I don't usually wear it, I will take it with me though when I go places. I was carrying it with me yesterday. So I went to see her yesterday and of course I was getting all teary eyed talking to her. To be honest I talk to her all the time but seeing her grave does bring about a flood of emotions. I talked for a little bit about life and then went on my way home.

My sister Cindy and I decided to go out to Applebees for a birthday dinner. She took me out for dinner. She gave me this really cute card that plays music. It is a cat holding a guitar doing happy birthday. Super cute. Dinner was great. We both had 12 oz sirloin steak with grilled shrimp. Was very good. I would of had my usual mudslide but I had to drive, besides the drinking came later, I'll mention more about that later. It was my choice where I wanted to go out to eat and I had a ton of choices but I've always loved Applebees. Was not disappointed.

Afterwards I went back to my sister's house and hung out for awhile. It was still nice enough to sit outside and blast music. Was really a beautiful day and night. We talked about the old days, music, and other random shit like we always do. She brought out a photo album of old pictures. I was in a few of them. There is one of me standing next to one of my brother's friends whom is wearing a Darth Vader costume. Pretty bad ass. I will have to get some of these on facebook soon. A comment was made at one point during the night about the weather and how perfect the day was and that comment was "God is shining down upon you on your day". Indeed, he was.

I got home and continued the birthday celebration by spending the night playing WoW with my friend Amanda and getting plastered. I am fine today, no hangover. I am tired but hell it was worth it. I am such a lightweight now a days. Doesn't take a lot to get me drunk. Thats good though. I don't need to put the amount of liquor into my body like I was doing years ago. I had fun though. Don't think I really did anything stupid, of course I may not remember it. I just remember randomly dying on my priest a lot last night cause I kinda just didn't care.

Overall it was the best birthday in a long time. I overcame a rocky start to it and it ended up being a great day. Lots of birthday love from friends on facebook and hell even some random people, like my sister's co-workers. Really meant a lot to me. Some people did go out of their way to wish me happy birthday on numerous occasions and that was awesome. I really do have some amazing people in my life. Couldn't of asked for a better day.

So I am at that point in my blog where I usually reflect on the past year and give some sort of theme as to what I want to do in the next year. I've dealt with some of my inner demons resurfacing like negativity and jealousy coming out. I think I can control it pretty well. I mean if anything I can come to my blog and tell myself "hey man, chill the fuck out". I've become a bit more independent. After years of people carting my ass around to drive me places, it is so nice to finally step up and do so on my own. I am sorry to anyone that I've made cart me around all over the place. I love driving and I hope at some point I can plan out some type of road trip. I'd really love to go out west. I've also learned how to feel again in the past year. It is not a bad thing but it is taking some getting use to as I did kinda shut off the feelings for awhile there. All things considered I think I am doing ok with the inner demons. I like the to think that things are only as bad as you let them be so I going to try to continue with that theme.

What do I have planned for the next year? I don't reveal all of my plans. I've been criticized and made to feel like shit in the past when I don't go through with something. Trust me when I say that the best is yet to come. That is my theme for the next year. It can really mean anything to be honest. Me helping out people more, me writing more, maybe me writing a short stories or a series of short stories, etc. The possibilities are endless of what might change in the next year. It is rather exciting to not know for sure what I am going to come up with in the next year. It is going to be great though, I just know it will be. I will say this, I feel like I am at my best when helping others or I am writing. When helping others in the past I've had a tenancy to throw it back in their face, "well I did this for you what are you doing to do for me?". I don't do that anymore. When I help someone it is because I like knowing that I've made somewhat of a difference or impact in someone's life. Whether it be in small ways or in a big way. So that is my focus for the next year along with stuff that I will not mention now.

So happy birthday to me! Enjoy the rest of your birthday weekend, you do deserve it.

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