You know sometimes you come across something and you know you shouldn't look what it says or you shouldn't click on it and you do it anyways? Yeah I had that moment today. Over the years I have a tenancy to save stuff on my computer like conversations, emails, etc. Not entirely sure why because if something goes bad why do I want that left there to rehash any old wounds? Sometimes there are pictures I save and just various other shit. Today though I had an amazing revelation about it. Wanna hear what it was? Hit the fucking delete button.
Course I did read through some of the stuff. The last female that I was really into, which she shall remain nameless, I kept a lot of our conversations. Not because they were cute and filled with awww moments, well some of them were I suppose, but because I knew what the end result was going to be. See I knew how the entire thing was going to end and still despite me knowing what I knew I decided oh hey lets give it a shot anyways. How did I know it was going to end badly? Cause every time I had a thing for this girl it ended almost the exact same way. Man you would think I would of learned my lesson? Slow learner I suppose. What else can I say? I was giving it a shot I guess. But hey out of all that negativity came positive stuff. I'm still the same person but minus the negativity that clouded me a few years back. So anyways whatever I had saved is now gone. Deleted.
I had stuff saved from when I was with Reva. Do I like torturing myself by keeping this stuff on my computer? Actually I had a few things directly related to that one. So why did I have these conversations saved anyways? Well probably cause she was my last girlfriend. Anyways I didn't open them up at all to read. Deleted.
Stuff was saved from Andrew regarding the falling out of our friendship. I'm going to say what is on my mind. I miss the dude. I really kinda fucked up that friendship. He needed someone there for him while he was going through his shit and all I could think of was myself and my stupid problems. I'm sorry bro. I may never actually bring myself to send you an email saying sorry to you but seriously I am sorry how that all went down. . You were my best friend and you were like a brother to me. I guess maybe I am hoping that after two years you still might possibly be reading my blogs. I regret how things went down. I had to get rid of that stuff too. Deleted.
I had stuff saved from like SWG about this feud I had with a guy named Foul. Never liked the guy, he didn't like me. Lots of insults were thrown my way. He even mentioned that I should just kill myself. Lots of other things he said were also totally untrue. Whatever though that shit happened over seven years ago. I'm on WoW now and happy with the people I hang out with. So moving on. Deleted.
I kept other stuff though. I have old blogs and whatnot that I have kept. I stumbled across one where I described a pretty vivid dream. Definitely worth posting someday.
Point to all of this though is when something comes to an end it isn't always wise to leave memories laying around for you to read and think of. I am trying to rid myself of some things from my past that really aren't even worth my time anymore. Hitting the delete button on some of this stuff may of been the best thing I could of done.