4/30/2013

Exit April

April is coming to a close with a big bang. Today it is suppose to be close to 80 degrees. The past few days, since my birthday actually, has been pleasant weather. It is nice waking up in the mornings to 50s and 60s and going for my daily walk. By the way I am up to 40 days in a row of walking. I have it set in my mind that I have to walk at least 15 minutes a day. Anyways great weather though and I am sure I will spend some time outside before it goes spiraling down.

Saturday I had family over for my birthday. Honestly I didn't consider it a birthday celebration. I wanted to make stuffed shells and I decided to invite people over. It was a good time. Always entertaining having family over. Stuffed shells were a hit as usual. I saved some time on Saturday preparing them by cooking the chicken and the meat on Friday night and refrigerating it. This actually helped make it easier to stuff the shells cause the chicken and the meat were not hot and weren't melting the cheese mixture. Usually my fingers are all gooey because of the mixture melting in my hands. Turned out great and I have been eating shells every single day. Yeah my diet has took a big hit the past few days but I will get back on track. At least I didn't stop exercising if there is any plus side.

My father apparently threw out his back. He is having a lot of back pain at the moment and is having a hard time getting around so I have to hang around him a lot at the moment to see if he wants or needs anything. He probably did something to his back cause he was working outside yesterday. I don't know how many times I have told this man if he wants something done all he needs to do is ask me. It is the Taurus stubbornness coming into play here. I get that he wants to do things on his own but the older he gets the more he is going to have to realize he is not Superman and it is ok to ask me to do some stuff. Hopefully his back will be ok.

My Rocksmith game for Xbox basically broke. I think I had mentioned this before but it got to a point where the songs were taking forever to load or some of my progress was not getting saved. As luck would have it Best Buy had the game on sale for only 25 bucks. 35 bucks off the original price. On top of that I ended up getting another cable because of it. So now I have two cables for the game. Meaning if anyone ever wanted to come over and jam on Rocksmith with me then they could. So who wants to jam with me?

April has always been my favorite month out of the year. This April wasn't terribly bad all things considering. Yeah we dealt with a lot of rain and below normal temperatures but it did not stop me from doing some of the things that I wanted to do like walking. By my birthday temperatures started to rise and now it is quite pleasant outside. To get to the good you have to deal with the bad. This applies to all aspects of life. Things will only get better and I can guarantee this.

Splash the frog

I decided Sunday morning that I should start a dream journal to keep track of my dreams. Following the dream I had about my sister on Saturday night/Sunday morning I had a very weird dream and this is what prompted the journal idea. I should of really done this years ago cause some of my dreams are just too awesome not to remember.

I'm going to go back to a dream I had Wednesday night into Thursday. I am not entirely sure of all the events that were going on in the dream. I just remember specific things. First there was this brunette girl who I was interested in. We spent the majority of my dream kissing and hanging out with each. We were at some sort of farm house I believe. My family ended up being there cause there was some sort of party going on. I don't remember much about the conversations but I do know at one point my brother and some random guy started to jam with my guitar and my bass. I think they asked me to join them but I wanted to find this girl whom I was with that suddenly disappeared. So I went searching for her and I remember going outside and I am pretty sure I saw her standing there in the field. There were storm clouds in the distance but rays of light from the sun were shining towards my general direction. That is all I really remember about the dream. I think this dream was telling me that even if life is dark and stormy it will always come to pass.

Friday night I had an interesting dream. I guess I was the star of a video game. I was this assassin type dude who had magical powers. I could throw fireballs at people. How cool is that? In the dream I am in this hallway and at the end of the hallway I notice this woman sitting there at a desk. I decided to try and make my way there. Along the way I had to dispose of some bad guys by throwing ninja stars at their throat or by setting them on fire. I try to sneak up on the female but then she sees me. I grab her and throw her onto of the desk. I force her into having sex with me. She tries to resist but I tell her "there is no resisting". Eventually she just gives in and starts enjoying herself. By the time the dream has ended she was the one who ended up taking control. So it started out as rape but turned into a good time for both of us.

Now for the weird one. The dream begins with Neil Patrick Harris as the narrator. I imagine this is because I watch How I Met your Mother a lot and I watched Doogie Howser a lot too. Anyways his narration is short but his message is "the key to happiness is by splashing frogs". Then the dream goes to me sleeping on my bed. There are three pillars in the room and this has the setting of a video game. My face has changed. In fact I look like a fish and my color is aqua. I am not sure if there is any other narration but I know that I have to get rid of whatever comes out from behind the pillars. There is also a bowl or bucket of water right next to me. I am suppose to fill up a glass with water and splash whatever appears. First thing to appear is a frog. I throw water at it and the frog disappears. The next thing has snuck past the pillar and I don't see it until it is like right by me and it is a spider. I throw water at the spider and it disappears. There may of been a few other animals but I don't remember all of them. The last one I remember is a bat and as it is flying towards me I splash it with water and the bat disappears. This is where the dream ends.

I have a few other ones writen down from the past few nights but nothing that really stands out as much as these ones do. Beginning a dream journal may of been one of my best recent ideas.

4/28/2013

Mary

For whatever reason she hates me. Everything that is wrong in her life is my fault. She is angry and this time she seems to be out for blood. She looks totally out of it like she has either been drinking all day or using some other kind of drug. Drugs ease her pain somewhat but makes it so that she accepts no responsibility for her actions. She needs it to function. If she doesn't have it then she may as well just be dead. This person is my sister Mary.

Mary is not the person that I use to know. The Mary that I knew was always laughing or she had a smile on her face. Yeah she has her issues but the problems were never to a point of being overwhelming. I think this is when the drugs kicked in. Made her forget that some of her problems were her own doing and it is the doing of others. She hates the world. She wants to watch the world burn.

We are at some sort of party or something. I am unsure where we are at. Words are exchanged. She is trying to blame me for something. I can't make out what she is saying. I think she wants to hurt me. My sister Kathy tries to get Mary to back off and reason with her. There is no reasoning with the unreasonable. The look on Mary's face is of one that is about to try to hurt me. I try not to fight back with her or yell at her. I try to reason with her. There is a blank stare on her face. She then says something about wanting to kill me. Then she disappears.

After awhile I am walking around and thinking to myself that I am tired. I can not fall asleep though. Mary might try to do something to hurt me. I must stay awake and alert. I then see Mary and her eyes are fixated on me. She has a knife in her hand. I am unsure what sort of knife it is but it is a knife. I'm scared for my life but I am not going to back down without a fight. There are tons of people around, she wouldn't think to attack me now would she? She comes closer to me. The look on her face screams "I am going to kill you". Somehow I find a knife and I pick it up. I am going to defend myself if I have to. She comes at me with the knife but I manage to block her from doing any damage. More people are around so she tosses the knife to the ground and starts to walk away. A few people saw her with the knife. I start screaming "she is trying to kill me, stop her!". I am surrounded by a bunch of people. I feel safe for the moment.

I am now in a parking lot which was this tower like structure in the middle. In the distance is this like garage type area. I believe Mary walked in that direction. I hear police sirens in the distance. Then I see a huge truck come out of the garage. I think it is a garbage truck. I know immediately that it is Mary. She is going to run me down. I yell to some people that it is her. They are like no that can't be her. I then see her in the truck and she is heading this way. She is a little bit of distance away so I can possibly run to get out of there. I run to the tower like structure in the middle of the parking lot. I stay low to the ground in hope that she didn't see me. She did see me. She blocks off the entrance/exit with the garbage truck. There is no way off this structure unless I jump off. She gets out of the truck. I feel trapped. I have nowhere to go. Before anything else happens I wake up.

Dreams involving Mary are quite common for me. The majority of the dreams are pleasant but then there are dreams that are not so pleasant. It is not surprising. My relationship with Mary was not great before she had passed away. I won't get into any details but I will say it was bad to a point where I kept a metal pipe in my room for protection just in case cause I didn't know what she was really capable of or what she was going to do. Yes I was afraid. I forgave her awhile ago for everything that had happened. She was heavily into drugs and it really just screwed her up. She wasn't Mary anymore. She was a junkie. Everything she hated about herself she would project onto me instead of herself. It is easier to blame someone else for your problems. I forgave her for all of this and in turn apologized for not doing more to be there for her. No one could be there for her though. She pushed us all away and just wanted to deal with it on her own.

The violent portion of my dream makes a lot of sense considering what had happened in the relationship between me and my sister. Honestly I don't even see it as a bad thing. Because I am such a laid back person and I hate conflict I try to avoid conflict as much as I can. Cause of this I have been walked over a lot. I think there is a message my sister is trying to get across to me and that would be that it is ok to protect myself and fight back. In my dreams about her I do fight back but in real life dealing with her I just hid myself to stay away from her. So the fact that I fight back in my dreams with her leads me to believe that in a way she is trying to tell me that I can and I should stand up for myself. There is really nothing currently in my life that is going on that would require me to I guess stand up for myself. I think I just have these occasional violent dreams dealing with Mary as a reminder that it is ok to stand up for myself.

Next time I just hope she isn't trying to kill me throughout the dream. The next blog I write will be about some of the other dreams I have had the past few days. Some of them are just downright weird.

4/25/2013

34

Another birthday comes and goes. Well I suppose I still have five more hours left to add to the awesomeness that is my birthday. Every birthday I take some time to reflect on the happenings of the past year of my life. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the amusing that is my life.

The past year has brought about many positive things. Yeah I am not totally where I want to be but the important thing is that I feel like I am a much happier person then I have been in years. That is very important to me. I am a more positive person then I was. I have to be. In general I think we should all strive to be a positive person. Reality is life is going to kick us down and it can relentless when we attempt to pick ourselves back up again but the point is no matter how hard or how often you get kicked down you get right back up again and keep on living. Am I a positive person all the time? I think people can strive to be one 24/7 but reality is it is very hard to be one all the time. I get sucked up in my own negativity from time to time but then I stop myself and put the pieces together of what may be positive. After years of negativity I finally realized that it gets you absolutely no where.

Other then being more positive there are some other things that I have done in the past year. I started playing guitar more and learning more about it. I've gotten fairly ok at guitar. I have learned more stuff in the past 11 months then I have in the 18 years before that. I enjoy guitar. I have fun with it. A big one is that I am writing more. It is evident by me writing blogs more frequently. I got my drivers license. This was a huge step in the right direction. I've been exercising more and I have lost some weight. I really need to step up on my diet but exercise wise I have been doing fairly good. Also rediscovered my love for live music by going to more concerts. Always good to go out and have fun. I do have 4 upcoming concerts. I also ended a jobless streak. Yeah I am lacking in the job department right now but I will change that.

In order to achieve greatness you have to endure some pain. I tell myself this all the time. I dealt with me being pretty sick over the summer and then making adjustments being on medication cause they fear I am pre-diabetic. I could of given up right then and there when I was told I was a step away from diabetes but I did not and I refuse to become a full fledged diabetic. No I will not do it. I am determined to win. There is no lose option when it comes to this. Then my father with his congestive heart failure stuff and the uncertainty that is there. I try not to think about it that one day he will no longer be here with us but it is eventually going to happen. No I am not trying to be a downer on my birthday, I am just stating reality. I don't dwell on it. I think about it from time to time but I don't dwell on it. His condition has gotten better though so that is encouraging and it takes a lot off my mind. Regardless of whatever happens in any given situation you learn to adapt. If you can't adapt you fail. Failure however is not the final solution for me.

 Today was a good day. It got warmer then what they said it would and we are going to be on a nice warmup in the following days. Got all kinds of facebook love from people wishing me happy birthday and whatnot. I then decided to go to the movies and I saw the Wizard of Oz prequel Oz. I don't even remember the Wizard of Oz to be honest. It had been forever since I saw that movie. I liked the movie quite a bit actually. It makes me want to watch the original movie. I was also the only person in the theater. Then after that me and my father went to Perkins for dinner. I ate way too much food and I am regretting it now as I am still full but whatever. On Saturday I am going to make stuffed shells and I invited the family over for dinner. I used my birthday as an excuse to make dinner for people for my birthday. Overall though things are good and today was a good day.

 I am going to start wrapping this blog up now. What is the important thing for me in the next year? It comes down to one word. Maintain. Maintaining what I have been doing and keep on doing it is important. As long as I can maintain things I am doing I should be happy and able to do whatever it is that I want. Yeah I hope to have a few different new things happen to me in the next year but it is important that I maintain what I have accomplished and not destroy any progress that I have made. Maintain! Maintain! Maintain!


4/24/2013

Someone enlighten me about water buffaloes

It is time for a pre birthday blog where I reflect on how shitty the past year has been and how I wish I would just slit my wrists. Ok I am kidding. Really I am just in a weird mood today. I have gone back and forth from being pissy to being amused to being almost emo like to being amused again. God I am almost as bad as a woman today. No I won't be reflecting on the past year. I will wait to do that in my birthday blog tomorrow when I analyze the past year of my life and look into the next year of my life. Oh that sounds like it should be fun and entertaining right? Or downright boring. I don't know. You decide.

I won't get into all the details of why I was acting like a woman today. Some things just aren't worth mentioning or are just like oh come on Nick get over it type of crap. I am at least in a better mood now. Earlier today I was kinda walking around like someone had murdered my best friend. Finally I decided to snap out of it. Oh and apparently I was ok because I was trying to do my own version of the Harlem Shake while I was taking a shower. Bad idea btw cause there are walls in the shower and are easy to hit while acting like a moron. Oh and you know this whole thing just sounded terrible. Me doing something in the shower. Perverts. Like I really would mention that in one of my blogs.

I lost another couple of pounds. Amazing cause my diet is well not that great but it is not like I am eating as much food as a water buffalo. Actually I am unsure how much food a water buffalo eats. Can someone enlighten me on their eating habits cause to be honest I know nothing about them? Anyways, my walking must be doing me some good at least. I was going to go out for a 30 minute walk this morning but cut it down to 15 but then went out for another 15 minute walk during the afternoon. As long as I try to get those 30 minutes in I feel good about myself. The main point is that I dropped a couple of pounds. Only a million more to go!

I've been meaning to mention this one for awhile but I seem to forget every time I write a blog. I was told that I motivated someone to start writing more. I love hearing things like that. Frankly my opinion on my own blogs and whatnot is that it is just a bunch of jumbled thoughts and ideas and whatnot so to hear that what I write motivates other people to write means a lot. I am really critical of myself, I just need to point that out. We are often our own worse critic from hell. I am no exception to this. I just write cause I like doing it and it is a great way to express myself even if things seemed jumbled and random. Jumbled and random is ok, right?  Anyways though good to know that even I can motivate people.

Weather is going to be warming up. Right after my birthday. That is fine. This weekend looks like it is going to be beautiful. I can not wait to be able to have my windows open and be able to sit outside and just enjoy the weather. I have missed that. Supposedly by Monday we could be up to 70 degrees. Oh that is going to feel so nice. Even with it being in the 40s and whatnot I have been opening up my windows from time to time. My cats love that.

I will end my blog with an update of the female in question from my last blog. Let me just say no. Most likely not going to happen. I sorta expected this anyways which is why I was being cautious. I only confirmed my own doubts when I found out that the female in question had a boyfriend. Shit like this just drives me nuts. Does it surprise me? Not at all. Still doesn't make it any better to be honest. Now I know I am not perfect and I have made plenty of mistakes and whatnot but I am rather tired of having this crap happen to me. Then again maybe because my expectations about things are crap anyways that is why I encounter this from time to time. I don't know. Whatever. One day things will change. I guarantee it.

4/21/2013

Wait and see

Hello all my loyal readers. Been a few days. I wanted to write yesterday but I was pretty tired from a long day so I waited until today which I suppose was a good thing cause now I have more to add. I shall not waste any more time jumping right in.

So on Thursday we had a lake in our backyard thanks to tons of heavy rain. Not only that it managed to get into our basement. Oh fun. It wasn't terribly bad but still it brings me back to one June morning when I was living in the basement and I was about to get ready to go to Ozzfest and I stepped in a nice pool of water to begin my morning. The water was just about to reach my guitar and my amp too so I suppose I woke up at a good time. Anyways I had to help my father clean up the water which was a good time killer. We managed to do a good job cleaning up the mess. Since then it hasn't rained. Thank God. We have had almost seven inches of rain this month so far so I think we are good on the rainfall for a bit.

Got my head shaved again on Friday. I like the no hair look. I had been wanting to do that for a long time but this girl who was supposedly interested in me kept telling me that I should not do it so I didn't but now that I don't even talk to her anymore I can do what I want. I should of just did what I wanted to in the first place but we won't get into that. Course the weather hasn't exactly agreed with the whole me not having hair thing. It has been chilly. Thankfully I like wearing beanie caps.

Yesterday was a fun and tiring day. Had to wake up early cause we were doing that trip to Lambeau thing with the zoo. I was awake at 5am. I got ready and whatnot and then did my typical walk. We got to the zoo around 7am and took off on the buses by like I think 8am. They gave us a breakfast that consisted of a cinnamon bun and a muffin. I ate the cinnamon bun. Bad idea! Gave me gas the majority of the morning which was bad cause I had a two hour bus ride ahead of me. Anyways we got to Lambeau field and first on the agenda was to do a stadium tour. It was a little boring at first. Mainly talking about the history of the team and whatnot. Well somewhat boring. I love my Packers but I wanted to see the stadium. Then we were taken into one of the main suites in the stadium. Oh my God! Super jealous of anybody who watches the games in those suites. The view was spectacular! Then we got to go through the player tunnel and out onto the field. Simply amazing. After watching Packer games for 26 years it was such an awesome feeling standing on the sidelines where many Packer legends once stood. The tour guide let my nephews take home a piece of the grass. After that tour we got to walk around in the Packer hall of fame. It is pretty cool in there. Lots of history about the Packers and whatnot. They provided a lunch for us but the sandwich selection was pretty terrible so we went and ate at Curlys instead. Good food. Would definitely go back there. Bus ride home seemed way too long but despite it being a tiring day it was a pretty good day in my opinion.

Trying to sleep last night was rough. I woke up in the middle of the night, well like 1:30am, with really bad chest pains. Course I start freaking out right away cause I was taught chest pains are a bad thing. Well it turned out to be really bad indigestion/heartburn. Not surprising since I had dealt with it earlier in the day on the way to Green Bay and while in Green Bay. It was pretty bad for awhile but thankfully it finally subsided. Didn't get back to bed until after 3am sometime.

My walking streak continues. Up to 31 days in a row now. Woo hoo. I didn't do as much as I wanted to this past week with my new exercise routine but I did pretty good. Just have to continue to maintain it now.

One last thing to finish up this blog. I was well I guess asked out by someone I had just recently met. Before people say oh Nick that is great I have a few things to say. This female is not from Milwaukee but she isn't exactly that far. In fact right across Lake Michigan. So way closer then any previous relationships which have been you know 1000 miles or over. I don't know much about this person either. She seems nice and could be fun to be with but see some of the stories, which I will not get into, I have heard about this person have not been so great. Yeah these were years ago and people can change but sometimes people say they changed but then they go right back to the bad habits that got them there in the first place. Maybe I should give this person the benefit of the doubt cause we all make mistakes. I just don't know much about her. I am not entirely sure I am even ready to get involved with anybody at the moment. I made a vow a year ago to hold off on getting close to another person especially if they aren't exactly in the same city/state as I am. I've put myself in really stupid situations too often and I had enough of it ending up the same way so unless I am absolutely sure about it I am not sure I can go through with it. My attitude has been a wait and see what might happen attitude so I may have to apply it to this one too cause I am just too unsure about it at the moment. Who knows maybe something good will come out of this? I do have to say that if anything it is flattering. I just hope it isn't someone just craving attention though. I've been through enough with attention whores.

I shall keep people updated on whatever might happen.

4/17/2013

I received a death threat today

The internet is a funny place. Today I managed to piss off my friend Mary's 11 year old niece to the point of her saying she was going to hunt me down and kill me. It is not the first time I have received death threats from someone but this may of been one of the funniest ones yet. She got upset because I basically said to her One Direction sucks. She is obsessed with them. Like really obsessed. She didn't take too kindly to me saying that they sucked so a long session of me trolling and being a smart ass turned basically into the scene where Anakin was nearly killed by Obi-Wan. Anakin was so pissed off that he starts screaming "I HATE YOU!". This totally made me think of that moment in the movie. So yeah this little girl wants to bash my skull in and kill me. Starting saying that she was outside my house stalking me and could see everything that I am doing. The conversation ended when she called me trailer park trash and I said that her definition of trailer park trash was inaccurate because I don't live in a trailer park and she should know that since she is supposedly outside my house monitoring my every move. Kids now a days. So funny. Btw to this day I have never heard a One Direction song, I was just saying they suck to get a reaction. Oh boy did I.

Last night on WoW I managed to make another person made in looking for raid. We were dying repeatedly on this one boss and this guy just comes in and he asks what to do. Being the smart ass I am I told him don't die. It is a perfectly legit answer to be totally honest. You don't want to die cause the more people that die the less likely it is that the boss will die. Anyways we die again and then after the fight he proceeds to tell the raid how much of an asshole I am because I didn't give him any details of the fight. I told him he was welcome. So is this a new trend? Me pissing off one person a day? Whose next?

It is a rainy and crappy Wednesday afternoon. We are having a thunderstorm though. Hooray for thunder! As long as the power does not go out cause that would suck since I am in the middle of my writing. The weather this entire month has been rotten but it could always be worse. It could still be snowing and freezing cold temperatures. So I am thankful for that.

27 days in a row walking. Quite proud of myself. I have kicked it up a bit this week. Trying to exercise up to 30 minutes a day for at least 6 days out of the week. I want to drop weight and overall just feel better about myself. I was so tired this morning before and after my walk, lack of sleep has a lot to do with it, but I felt really good. I still do. I have had this tired feeling the majority of the day but I've had energy today and it is great. With the weather being crappy though I may not make it out for a walk tomorrow but I know I damn sure will try.

Crazy week it has been. First the Boston Marathon thing on Monday. Tragic. Thoughts and prayers go out to everyone involved. Yesterday at Carroll college there was a gunman spotted on campus. This is the college my niece goes to. It was on lock down for awhile. Nobody got hurt or anything which is good and I believe they arrested someone. Shit is getting too close for comfort though in my opinion. Today has been suspicious packages and envelopes showing up at random locations around the country. Some people have been injured by the contents of the stuff. The world has gone crazy. Actually I think the world has always been crazy but we just hear more about it due to social media and whatnot. Hate to think what might be coming next. Can't live life worrying about what you can not control though.

That is all for now. Wonder what the rest of the week may hold.

4/12/2013

I bit myself

I am hoping this isn't going to be the start of a new bad habit cause I could think of a few other bad habits that I would prefer over this one. Been a weird week. Rain, weird alien dreams, and now me biting myself. Yep I bit myself last night while I was asleep. I will explain further.

I know I was having some weird dreams again last night. I don't really know specifically what was going on but the theme this week has been weird. I know at one point the song "move bitch get out the way" was playing in one of the dreams. Not sure why but whatever. Anyways when I woke up this morning my hand was by my mouth and I looked at my hand and there was not only drool on it but there were some decent teeth marks on my thumb. What the hell? I am not sure how or why but apparently in my sleep I had bit my own thumb. It wasn't very deep but the teeth marks were noticeable. In fact if you look at my thumb now like 12 hours later there is a mark where I had bit myself. I certainly hope that this is not a new thing for me to do. I don't really want to wake up in the morning to see bite marks on myself. This would definitely be a weird habit and one that I certainly do not want. If this does happen again hopefully it won't be something that ends with me hurting myself somehow. Oh wouldn't that be great? I end up in the hospital because I bit myself. That would be a great story for the kids or grand kids.

My father went back to the doctor today. He seems to be doing ok. He lost some more weight. His numbers are looking better. The doctor gave him the ok to start exercising lightly again and he also put him on blood thinners. I decided to read the manual about blood thinners and of course the major drawback to taking them is death. Oh well gee that is great to know! I suppose though that is the ultimate reality of it anyways. He has to go back for a checkup in 6 weeks. So all seems to be ok for right now.

I haven't been playing a lot of Rocksmith lately but I have been doing other things. I've been on my acoustic guitar more lately and I find myself spending up to an hour a day just watching random videos on how to play songs, how to play certain chords, etc. I learn a lot from these videos. At least if I am not playing as much as I was that I am still doing something useful with my guitar. One day I am going to be in some sort of band or at least playing with someone.

Well I didn't want to make a terribly long blog tonight so I will leave it at that. I wonder if I can make it through a night without weird dreams or without me biting myself. This remains to be seen.

4/11/2013

Aliens fear blood

What a day. It was one of those days in which I wanted to rip my hair out. I am ok now. Also a little less aggravated. In the end things worked out ok and no one was harmed but I suppose I should write about it and then a little later for some humor I must talk about a dream I had last night.

First off the past few days the weather has been shitty. It has been rainy and somewhat cold. We have had nearly 4 inches of rain in the past few days. I have managed however to at least go out for a walk every single day. Not sure how I managed to be able to pull that off due to the weather but yay me. 21 days in a row of walking. I feel quite proud of myself. That is a pretty good streak in my opinion. I am going to try to extend it as long as I can.

My morning started off as it usually does. I was going to pick up my guitar and play Rocksmith for awhile. That did not work out as planned. My father comes in the room and tells me there is something wrong with his computer. It has viruses or whatever. So I go to his computer. Sure enough yet again his computer has about 28 viruses on it. This is when I discover that his computer has no had any sort of protection for a long time apparently. Wonderful! The last time he took it in to get clean of viruses they gave him cheap software that apparently just disappeared. Course I couldn't do shit with the computer. Tried going through everything I knew and nothing was going on. So I said he has two options, fix this computer yet again and pay a butt load of money for it or finally buy a new laptop. The laptop is like 5 years old and this is the 3rd time it has had trouble with viruses. I was already frustrated at this point.

Then I first go to my laptop to make sure my computer is ok. It is ok but apparently my McAfee is no longer on the laptop. What in hell? I didn't delete it or whatever and it is just randomly gone? So I end up screwing around for a bit and I reinstalled McAfee. I then to go to my desktop computer and everything is fine there but I can't open McAfee at all. I get a blank screen. It has been like this for a long time but I figure if today was a day for fixing shit I was going to fix it. I looked up some stuff online and I went through a number of different things. I swear I went through about seven computer restarts and changing things around a number of times before I finally just got rid of McAfee completely and then reinstalled it. So it finally works and I start running a virus scan on the computer just to be safe. Then my internet browser was all messed up and not loading anything properly. At this point I was like ok whatever I am done. I then went out for my daily walk.

After I got back home from my walk I decided that I was going to try to work on my fathers computer. I got out the system disc, thank God he still had it, and decided I would try to reinstall the system and format the computer and that would solve the problem on that computer. So after going through a number of steps and close to I dunno two hours of screwing around I got his laptop up and running virus free. I am pretty sure he decided at this point that it would be a good idea just to get a new laptop since that one is getting old and whatnot. So for the time being my laptop is in the living room so he can use it.

Now it was time to figure out what the hell was wrong with my internet browser on my desktop. Everything that I was trying to do showed up as it being messed up. So all I really did for that one was just clear out all the history and everything else. Problem solved. Why did I not do that in the first place? Well that is kinda like why did I not use the system disc in the first place for my father's laptop? I don't think very well when I am frustrated and things don't become clear to me until I have had some time to chill out. I would say I spent at least five hours today screwing around with computers.

What is it with me and alien dreams? Seriously. Think back to the blog I wrote years ago about that one alien dream I had. That was one of the craziest dreams I have ever had. Funny though too. The one I had last night totally fits into the weird category.

I am unsure how the dream even started, where I am in the beginning, and all those other details. All I know is that there is some sort of alien invasion. I guess they are taking over earth or something. This part sorta seems like a video game type scenario for me. There is this alien ship with huge turrets on the side. They are blasting away at random people/ship. I am in a ship that resembles the millennium falcon, actually I am pretty sure it was the millennium falcon. I am co-piloting the ship with a guy who resembles Mark Wahlberg. Seriously I think it is him. Anyways all the other ships were failing in attacking the ship so we get this bright idea to be suicidal and get as close as we can to blast the hell out of the turrets. So we end up getting very close and we blast the hell out of the turrets. We are all celebrating thinking we destroyed them but nope not even close to destroying it. Celebration turned into an oh shit moment as we tried to get out of there. I am unsure what happens next but I assume we were captured.

Then I am in some class room. It resembles my 7th grade class room. There are a bunch of people there I do not know and the teacher is not a human. She is an alien. I can tell that she is a she cause she has a voice that sounds like a female. Well and she has boobs too. She is sort of a greenish blue color. Weird looking mouth. One eye I think. I figure that I am going to be killed soon so I start freaking out and I start crawling under desks to hide or something. Fat people can't hide very well under school desks by the way. I then just decide to take a seat cause it doesn't seem like this alien is a threat to do anything. I don't know how it happens but one of the other people in the class room all of a sudden starts bleeding. The alien freaks out at the sight of blood. I mean she is literally screeching and it seems as if she is in pain at the sight of blood. She tells the person to get out of the classroom and go downstairs. This is when other people get the bright idea that they were suddenly going to be get all bloody. So one by one people start I guess cutting themselves or whatever just to draw a little bit of blood to make the alien go crazy so she lets them out of the class. I decide to play along. I am not even sure how or what I did to get blood but I wanted to be convincing so I put blood all over my arms and all over my face. I walk up to the alien to show her the blood and she starts freaking out pointing towards the door motioning me to leave. I leave the room and head downstairs and I end up in a cafeteria. I see a bunch of my old friends and classmates sitting there at a table. I walk up to them and say hello. They say to me how did you get away from the aliens and why are you all bloody. I said to them oh apparently aliens fear blood so if you want to get away from them cover yourself in blood.

What a weird dream. I haven't even attempted to look or come up with a meaning for that dream.

Guess that is all for tonight. Maybe I will have more weird dreams to blog about.

4/08/2013

Change of Heart

I said I was going to write a blog on Saturday but then Saturday came and I said ok I will write one on Sunday, Sunday came and still no blog. Then I decided to say that a blog will come out when a blog comes out. I just really did not feel like writing over the weekend. I wasn't really in that great of a mood. I am ok now and no I really don't want to get into all the details of what was bothering me cause most of that stuff was stupid anyways. I don't want to dwell on stupid stuff.

It is the middle of the afternoon on a cloudy and somewhat dreary Monday. I have nothing really planned out for today other then going with my father so he can get an EKG done. He also goes back to the doctor this upcoming Friday. I'll know more about what is going on with him by then. He seems to be doing ok though. He dropped about another ten pounds. It is all the fluid that he has been building up. He is finally losing it. I am hoping that this is a good sign.

Today was day number 18 in a row of walking. I am proud of myself. I wasn't planning on going for a walk yesterday but I was bored and said ok I'm gonna go walk. Far different then what it is typically like when I am bored. Oh I don't know what to do so I am going to go stuff my face and watch some television or play some WoW. Nice to use walking as an option when I am suffering from boredom. Although the rest of the week is up in the air as far as my walking is concerned. The weather is suppose to be rather crappy so I may not be able to get some walks in. Oh well. I suppose there are alternative methods.

My walking is paying off a bit too. I know it isn't much but I have dropped another three pounds. I find that amazing cause I haven't exactly been eating that great lately. No I don't eat a lot of food but yeah with Easter just passing us by I had a lot more of what I shouldn't of. So me losing three pounds despite that is pretty good. My goal right now is to drop about thirty-five more pounds. Then when I get there I will set the next goal. I will get there. I am determined. Once I start eating more of the right foods and get started on my new exercising thing the pounds will start dropping off.

I had a change of heart with the whole WoW thing with transferring my priest to join my guild on the other server. This doesn't mean I am going to be playing 24/7 though but it would be nice to be on a new server with my main character. Plus I would be playing with people I've been playing with for awhile. So you never know, it might be one of the best options that I have in the game at the moment. I don't ever intend on being a hardcore raider/gamer on that game again but despite what people have said you can be casual. I may eventually just move all my characters over to the new server. Hell if I feel like leveling up brand new characters horde side. I already have like seventeen characters on horde side that are level 80 or higher and I do not need anymore.

I haven't continued my Face story yet because I am still deciding where to go with the story and I just thought of something new for the story today. A new twist on things I suppose. Maybe that will give me some motivation to continue the writing. The Face stories may not be the greatest but at least I have fun with them and that is the point.

That is all for now. I won't say that I will be back with a blog tomorrow or the next day or whatever, I will leave it at a new blog will get posted when a new blog is done?

4/05/2013

4-5-13

Another quiet Friday night in front of my laptop. Although I suppose I should not complain or anything cause it could be chaotic or something like that and I'd like to avoid chaotic for right now at least. It has been a few days so I figured I'd get back to writing something at least.

My dilemma has been solved. It wasn't really much of a dilemma, it was pretty much was a what do I do type of thing. I decided that I am going to go to see Pitbull with my sister. I ordered the tickets today. Yeah so I don't know his music that well and it is a far different type of concert then what I am use to but so what? Maybe I will meet the future miss Kendzierski there? Ha! Wishful thinking Nick. The other dilemma was about what I was going to do with my WoW character. He is staying put for right now. As much as I would like to rejoin my guild on another server with my main priest I just can't right now. I won't rule it out in the future but for right now I am not. I could always make a character over there but do I want to level yet another horde character? I already have 13 characters at level 85 or over on horde side. I think that is enough.

Between playing WoW and playing Skyrim on the Xbox this is why I haven't posted much this week on my blog. No I am not spending every waking moment playing one or the other. I still made time to pick up my bass guitar for awhile today and jam out. I make time to do other things just I am having a good time playing those games. On WoW I discovered how the new pet battles are addicting. That is all I've been doing. Collecting pets and running around fighting battles. What is pet battles on WoW? Well think Pokemon battle cause it is basically the same thing, or so I am told. I never played Pokemon. Anyways it is fun and I think I may record a video of me doing a pet battle just to show people. As for Skyrim I just got back into playing that game again. I discovered how awesome it is to use a bow to kill your enemies. Stand back and snipe them from a distance is awesome. Plus it is pretty powerful in the game. Depending on if I can get a good shot or not I can sometimes one shot people. Ok enough about the video games. I am sorry, I am a gamer nerd. But I ask you this, what is a better addiction video games or drugs?

Been doing good with my walking. Today was the day number 15 in a row that I have went out walking. Pretty good huh? I think I am going to up the exercising though in the coming weeks. I would like to push it up to about 30 minutes just about everyday exercising. I am thinking 30 minute walks on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 15 min walks the remaining days but on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday either riding the exercise bike or lifting some weights. Sunday I will leave as an optional day for stuff. I think this is a pretty decent plan though. If I can watch what I am eating I could probably drop some weight. Well I think I already am a bit but I can always strive to do better. My first goal at the moment is to drop about 30-40 pounds and then we shall see where I go from there.

This is my ending point for tonight. I may be back tomorrow with another blog. No promises however. I do have a few things that are on my mind and I may tackle one of those topics tomorrow. Until then no matter what you do be awesome!

4/02/2013

A dilemma?

A little less dramatic writing tonight I think. After being in a crappy mood yesterday cause of the dream I had, I've been in a better mood today. Don't really remember dreams from last night which is probably a good thing.

I got asked to go to another concert. I don't think I updated everyone about the Pink concert. We got tickets for that show. Yeah I know people think that is a bit out of the norm for me to go to see someone like Pink. Well the show I got asked to go to is another totally out of the norm for me. My sister asked me if I wanted to go see Pitbull. I honestly don't know him at all. I had a listen to a few of his songs and I didn't think they were that bad. So I am considering it. I only have a few days before I have to decide. So do I go or should I say no? Typically someone asks me to go to a concert and I jump at the chance to go.

I face a dilemma with WoW. Yeah I have been playing the game again. Not really as much as I was. I am pretty much casual. Back in December I nearly transferred my characters off the server I am on. I really grown to dislike the server quite a bit. I was torn about moving away cause I would move away from the guild I am in and I do like people there and we have had many good times. So instead of moving I decided to step away from the game for a little while. I came back after just about 2 months and found myself playing alliance more then my horde toons. Still like my horde toons but after 7 years of playing horde and basically never playing alliance it has been a nice change. Anyways the guild that I am in on Velen have now decided they want to move but it is to a different server then what I was thinking about a few months back. So I am unsure what I want to do. Stay on the server I've been on, go to the one that they are going to, or go to the server that I wanted to go to? The last option would be just to quit the game again and trust me that thought has been in my mind too. Regardless of what I do my playtime has been cut down dramatically anyways so that is another thing to take into account.

Still continuing to walk every day. My knee has started to feel a bit better the past few days. Still hurts but it is not as bad as it was. The streak of days is up to 12 days in a row. I've mentioned it before about how much I do enjoy to take walks so I won't get into that again. Once the weather is more stable I will go for longer walks. Right now we had a few days in the 50s only to go back down to the 30s. Either way it is great to be a consistent walking schedule.

I think that is all for tonight. I just want to say thanks to everyone who does read my blogs. I normally average about 20 views per day. I really do appreciate it.

4/01/2013

A bad dream

Sometimes I really hate realistic dreams. I have had some vivid dreams over the years. They have triggered sadness, happiness, or they have been funny, or downright terrifying. Funny I can handle. Happiness I can handle. The other ones not so much. I had one of those dreams last night where I hope that I never have to see what I saw again. The image at the end of the dream over 12 hours later still is getting to me and I don't like it.

I am a bit unclear about how the dream started or what is entirely going on. I know I am living in this building. I think some people that I use to go to school with a long time ago are in the dream and my ex wife is there too. I know there are four animals in the dream. My two cats Loco and Ozzy, some bulldog that I don't know, and then the last dog that I had Chex. At one point I know Loco and Ozzy got out of the apartment or whatever it was that we were living in and I had to scramble around trying to find where they are.

At some point the tornado sirens go off signaling that a tornado is on the way. It is common for me to dream about tornadoes. This has been going on for years. I tend to have less dreams about them in the past few years but occasionally they pop up. Everyone decided to go down to the basement but I wanted to make sure all the animals got there so they would be safe from the tornado is it hit the building. I was having a hard time trying to find the animals. I could hear the yelling for me to come down into the basement and that the animals would be just fine. I didn't believe that. I was determined to make sure the animals got into the basement safely. We were surrounded by a bunch of windows in the building and I could see the tornado in the distance coming pretty much right at us. I had to get to safety but I had to make sure the animals are ok. I started heading down the stairs and saw most of the animals so I did what I could to get them to go down the stairs. Yelling at them and trying to tap them to go down the stairs. Well Chex was being stubborn and I kinda tapped him too hard and he went flying down the steps. He whined a bit and gave me this sad look and I said to him I am sorry, I am just trying to get you to go down the stairs. It is then that I realize I had basically seconds before the tornado hit so I hauled ass to the basement.

The tornado then hits. You can feel everything. The whole building shook as the high winds brutually took aim on the building. You could hear stuff crash around and windows break. Then part of the roof collapses into the building and you see a bunch of stuff fall. As soon as I thought the tornado passed by I decided to make my way up the stairs to see the damage and if the animals are ok. People begin walking up the stairs to see the extent of the damage. I am worried about a building collapse at this point but I am assured by others that the building will not collapse. I do notice that the tornado is still out there but it has passed and is moving away from us. I start calling out for the animals and I see all of them except Chex. All the other animals are ok. No sign of Chex. I am worried at this point. I begin to call out his name and I am hoping that I will find him. Then I see Chex. He is covered by a bunch of debris laying on the floor. I quick run over to him and jump over a bunch of other debris in the process. Chex is badly hurt. He has glass all over him and he is bleeding. He is still alive but by the look in his eyes you can tell he is badly hurt. He has tears in his eyes since he is in a lot of pain and he can't move cause of the debris on him. He possibly has a broken leg or two, I am unsure at this point. All I see is the blood, the glass on him, and the tears in his eyes. I try to see what I can do for him but then I start crying. This is where the dream ends.

The crying in the dream was actually real because I woke up in tears. I spend the next five minutes crying and thinking about the dream. Even now thinking about it and picturing it is causing me to tear up. It is an image that I can't seem to shake today. Sometimes I think I love animals more then humans. I often get emotional if I see an animal die in a movie or reading sad stories about animal abuse or whatever. This one has just tore at me today though. I've tried to be extra nice to my cats today. If something were to ever happen to them I would be very upset.

As far as the dream meaning. I did look it up and whatnot but I think I came to my own conclusions about it. I think in a sense the message is I have to let go of some of my past regrets I have about many things like ex friends or whatever. I am not surprised to see Chex in the dream like that because I do have some regrets about that situation. I didn't treat that dog very well the last like almost year I had him. No no I was not hitting him or abusing him or anything like that just I was going through a divorce and nothing seemed right in my life. When we got Chex it was mostly cause the ex wife really wanted him but then he got left with me. I think my anger about the whole situation caused me a bit to dislike Chex. More or less I did not give that dog the love and affection that I could of cause I was wrapped up in my own little world and I regretted it because I did love that dog a lot and he was a really sweet loveable dog. I am happy for him though. He is with a good family and he is treated well and loved. It would of been hell trying to bring him back to Wisconsin with me. There are just some things that I can't change so if I have any regrets about anything I need to just put them aside, that is what I believe the dream is telling me.

Who knows maybe someday I will have another dog just like Chex. At least I feel better now after writing about that dream. Hopefully tonight will be better dreams. Having lots of money, naked chicks, or lesbians. Those would get my vote for a good dream category.