4/01/2013

A bad dream

Sometimes I really hate realistic dreams. I have had some vivid dreams over the years. They have triggered sadness, happiness, or they have been funny, or downright terrifying. Funny I can handle. Happiness I can handle. The other ones not so much. I had one of those dreams last night where I hope that I never have to see what I saw again. The image at the end of the dream over 12 hours later still is getting to me and I don't like it.

I am a bit unclear about how the dream started or what is entirely going on. I know I am living in this building. I think some people that I use to go to school with a long time ago are in the dream and my ex wife is there too. I know there are four animals in the dream. My two cats Loco and Ozzy, some bulldog that I don't know, and then the last dog that I had Chex. At one point I know Loco and Ozzy got out of the apartment or whatever it was that we were living in and I had to scramble around trying to find where they are.

At some point the tornado sirens go off signaling that a tornado is on the way. It is common for me to dream about tornadoes. This has been going on for years. I tend to have less dreams about them in the past few years but occasionally they pop up. Everyone decided to go down to the basement but I wanted to make sure all the animals got there so they would be safe from the tornado is it hit the building. I was having a hard time trying to find the animals. I could hear the yelling for me to come down into the basement and that the animals would be just fine. I didn't believe that. I was determined to make sure the animals got into the basement safely. We were surrounded by a bunch of windows in the building and I could see the tornado in the distance coming pretty much right at us. I had to get to safety but I had to make sure the animals are ok. I started heading down the stairs and saw most of the animals so I did what I could to get them to go down the stairs. Yelling at them and trying to tap them to go down the stairs. Well Chex was being stubborn and I kinda tapped him too hard and he went flying down the steps. He whined a bit and gave me this sad look and I said to him I am sorry, I am just trying to get you to go down the stairs. It is then that I realize I had basically seconds before the tornado hit so I hauled ass to the basement.

The tornado then hits. You can feel everything. The whole building shook as the high winds brutually took aim on the building. You could hear stuff crash around and windows break. Then part of the roof collapses into the building and you see a bunch of stuff fall. As soon as I thought the tornado passed by I decided to make my way up the stairs to see the damage and if the animals are ok. People begin walking up the stairs to see the extent of the damage. I am worried about a building collapse at this point but I am assured by others that the building will not collapse. I do notice that the tornado is still out there but it has passed and is moving away from us. I start calling out for the animals and I see all of them except Chex. All the other animals are ok. No sign of Chex. I am worried at this point. I begin to call out his name and I am hoping that I will find him. Then I see Chex. He is covered by a bunch of debris laying on the floor. I quick run over to him and jump over a bunch of other debris in the process. Chex is badly hurt. He has glass all over him and he is bleeding. He is still alive but by the look in his eyes you can tell he is badly hurt. He has tears in his eyes since he is in a lot of pain and he can't move cause of the debris on him. He possibly has a broken leg or two, I am unsure at this point. All I see is the blood, the glass on him, and the tears in his eyes. I try to see what I can do for him but then I start crying. This is where the dream ends.

The crying in the dream was actually real because I woke up in tears. I spend the next five minutes crying and thinking about the dream. Even now thinking about it and picturing it is causing me to tear up. It is an image that I can't seem to shake today. Sometimes I think I love animals more then humans. I often get emotional if I see an animal die in a movie or reading sad stories about animal abuse or whatever. This one has just tore at me today though. I've tried to be extra nice to my cats today. If something were to ever happen to them I would be very upset.

As far as the dream meaning. I did look it up and whatnot but I think I came to my own conclusions about it. I think in a sense the message is I have to let go of some of my past regrets I have about many things like ex friends or whatever. I am not surprised to see Chex in the dream like that because I do have some regrets about that situation. I didn't treat that dog very well the last like almost year I had him. No no I was not hitting him or abusing him or anything like that just I was going through a divorce and nothing seemed right in my life. When we got Chex it was mostly cause the ex wife really wanted him but then he got left with me. I think my anger about the whole situation caused me a bit to dislike Chex. More or less I did not give that dog the love and affection that I could of cause I was wrapped up in my own little world and I regretted it because I did love that dog a lot and he was a really sweet loveable dog. I am happy for him though. He is with a good family and he is treated well and loved. It would of been hell trying to bring him back to Wisconsin with me. There are just some things that I can't change so if I have any regrets about anything I need to just put them aside, that is what I believe the dream is telling me.

Who knows maybe someday I will have another dog just like Chex. At least I feel better now after writing about that dream. Hopefully tonight will be better dreams. Having lots of money, naked chicks, or lesbians. Those would get my vote for a good dream category.

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