2/25/2013

If you stare long enough

I wasn't really intending on writing a blog today but I could not resist after an incident at a grocery store got me thinking. Grocery stores are a good place to meet interesting people.

You have the people who act like they are the only ones in the world shopping and therefore if you get in there way for just a split second they stare at you and try to burn a hole in you with their eyes like "oh my God how could you get in my fucking way, you are wasting my time!"

Then you have people who decide to look at something on one side of the aisle but then put their cart on the other side of them to block the aisle. Um hello excuse me maybe someone else wanted to walk down that aisle so move your God damn cart!

You have people who don't know where anything is. You get this a lot if you work at a grocery store. I get it, a grocery store is a big place and sometimes it is hard to find what you want but I am talking about people who are looking for something as simple as bread and never bother to look for the aisle number that says bread on it.

People who pick something up and then later on in the store decide that they don't want it anymore. Oh this one annoys me so much. I use to hate working in frozen food and find milk or something from dairy sitting in one of my coolers. Course by the time I notice it the milk is frozen solid. You know what happens to that milk? It gets thrown out and money is wasted! If you don't want something take the time to put it back where you got it from. A little bit of walking is not going to hurt you, in fact if you are overweight like me it may benefit you in the long run.

The workers at a grocery store. Ok I get it, your job sucks and you are most likely on the verge of coming into the store one day with a shotgun but man does it hurt to try to be a little bit nice to the customers from time to time? Be thankful you have a job at all with how bad things are for most people. I am not saying have a constant smile on your face or shake hands with people or whatever else but we can sense the negativity and negativity spreads like wildfire. One person is negative then another person becomes negative and then another and then another until finally we are all wanting to blow our brains out. Yep I'll admit I am guilty of being one of those type of workers and people use to tell me "well at least you have a job" and you know what? They were right!

I could go on with many other things about grocery stores but I will go to the main purpose of this blog. People who stand in the aisle and stare at the same thing for a lengthy period of time. This just annoys me. I like to go in the store pick out something as quick as I can and be on my way. Some people though it seems like they are standing there taking notes and analyzing every little detail about what is in that specific item. People the shit on the item does not magically change as you are reading it. I mean it would be great if it did but it doesn't. I'll use an example of today. A couple are looking at spaghetti sauce and they are bitching about how much bad stuff is in the sauce. They proceed to stand there for like another 5 minutes almost looking over all the sauces. I am just standing there like do they really think that each jar of sauce is going to be different then the other one they just picked up? Really it is not going to change that much. Like I said stuff labeled on the jar does not magically change the longer you stare at it. If it did oh man this world would just be fucking perfect! My father is guilty of standing there studying labels before picking something out but at least he just doesn't stand there staring waiting for something magical to happen.

I think I am going to have a bit of fun with the end of this blog and make a list of stuff that should happen if you decide to stare at it for a period of time.

If you stare long enough:
  • Money turns into millions of dollars
  • Your penis gets bigger
  • A person's head can explode
  • A small boobed chick will suddenly have big boobs
  • A big boobed chick will take off her shirt
  • Your car turns into something expensive
  • You suddenly aren't fat anymore
  • If you stare long enough at your guitar while holding it you suddenly turn into a guitar God
  • If you stare into your living room from your kitchen long enough a dancing midget who looks like Chuck Norris appears and he has the power to give you any wish you want

I could go on forever and I am sure I could think of some better ones. I kinda just thought of some of these off the top of my head. You all get the idea though. Anyways that is all for tonight. Lets see if I can come up with something to write tomorrow.

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