4/25/2012

33

Here it is, almost another birthday in the books. Another day, another year older. Ok that really is not meant to sound depressing at all cause I am far from it at the moment. Today has been a pretty uneventful day. Started off the morning with rain until the early part of the afternoon but since then it has been basically cloudy. It isn't too cold but it isn't exactly warm either. Overall though the weather didn't effect my birthday all too much. Well I can't really say that cause I've been having random aches and pains but that is just normal with the weather being the way it is.

One thing I must mention is all the birthday love I got on facebook today. It was really nice and I really apprecihated it. There are a lot of people whom I do not really communicate with on a regular basis. I still check their statueses and keep up to date with what is going on but I don't always comment and whatnot. I feel like even if there isn't always some sort of communication that people will always be there regardless. It meant a lot to see people take some time out of their day to wish me a happy birthday. For one day on facebook I actually felt popular. Is internet popularity all that important though? Not really but sometimes the little things mean a lot. Especially logging on the internet on your birthday to find a ton of birthday wishes.

As I do with every birthday I sit back and think about the last year of my life. 32 was an interesting age/year for me. In a lot of ways it was somewhat eye opening. I made some pretty poor decisions and then I made some really great decisions. I took a step back and I really started to see the path of self destruction I was on and said enough is enough I really need to start working on myself. The hardest part about life sometimes is to sit back and look at yourself and things you have done and admit to yourself that you are in the wrong and there are a lot of things you should of done differently. I have started to change a lot of things I do in the past month or so. Not everyone is going to see these changes. Maybe to some the changes are so small and insignificiant that it doesn't really matter. I guess it really should only matter to me though. Any change right now to me is significant and a step in the right direction. People don't see that change can come in all shapes and sizes. Change can even be as simple as removing a person or persons from your life in which you felt like were having a negative effect on you. One thing I decided to do is leave, for now, most of the changes that have been going on in my life off my blog. People are going to think what they want of me and I don't need a negative vibe about some of the things I am working on so for now I am not really talking about things I am doing.

I do want to bring up one thing though. This is something that I had thought about the other day while I was outside just watching the birds and other random stuff that is going on. I felt like I needed to find something that I could use as somewhat a guideline for inspiration heading forward in my life. My mom has always been an inspiration for me cause despite all the health problems she still fought hard and tried to enjoy what she could out of life. I admire her and her story could and should inspire everyone. Now I am not a very religious person. I don't claim to go to church and pray all the time and all that stuff but I thought to myself that Jesus was 33 when he died on the cross. I just turned 33 so I thought how can I relate my life to this. I can't because well I am not Jesus and as far as I know people don't want to hang me on a cross for my beliefs. What I did think of though is Jesus did a lot of great things before his death. He helped out the sick and the poor. He didn't turn his back on people even if they did not believe in the stuff that he was saying. He was a fighter and stood firm in what he believed in even though it ended up costing him his life. I think his story if you actually sit down, read it, and pay attention can be an inspiration to anyone. I realize not everyone has the same beliefs and they don't believe everything that they have heard. That is fine, I respect that. My point I guess I am getting at is the story of Jesus and the things he did could turn to be a point of interest for me as I start my 33rd year of life. Especially since Jesus died when he was 33 and he according to the stories in the bible did a lot of great things.

I imagine that this is probably not something that you would expect me to talk about in my blog. I normally never go the religion route. I just know that I have really had a chance to think about the story of Jesus that I find it to be interesting and somewhat inspiring. I think maybe I should take the time to learn more about it because to be totally honest I really only know the basic stuff. I doubt this will make me turn all religious and tell people oh if you don't go to church you are going to Hell and everything like that. I guess I am looking for inspiration in anything I can right now and it is ok to have a belief in something.

I am going to yet another concert upcoming. Primus is coming here next month and they had a buy one get one free so I asked my sister and she ended up saying yes. So now in the upcoming months I am going to 5 concerts. To put it like this in a span of like 12-13 years I went to 3 shows and in the next 4 months I am going to 5 so far. I always liked going to concerts. I love music and I enjoy seeing and hearing live music so why not go?

In conclusion I have been in thought about a lot of different things lately. It is ok to think. Thinking helps you be more creative and it can cause you to see things from a different point of view or maybe open up your eyes to things you did not see before. It is a good thing. People are not going to see all the changes I may be going through or making cause either they are too blind to see the big picture or they are too closed minded to even think that the slightest change is positive. I am not a perfect person by any means. I have done a lot wrong but I am trying to be different or be the Nick I use to be. I like that Nick. That Nick is pretty darn awesome if you ask me. Happy birthday to me!

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