7/03/2011

Remembering Taz

I felt like I should write a short blog dedicated to my sister Mary. 2 years ago yesterday she passed away. Time certainly does go by fast. Sometimes I find myself finding it hard to believe that she is gone. It is like I expect to walk past her room and see her in there. I do believe that her spirit remains in this house though but I will not get into that.

Her nickname was "Taz" and it was for good reason. People who know her knew that she could be a really nice person, laughing and happy but then if someone crossed her path in the wrong way she would go all Tasmanian Devil on them hence the nickname "Taz".

It is sad what had happened to her. She was only 40 years old and despite all her problems and issues she had a lot to offer people. She went down the wrong path in life and she got so far into it she did not know how to find her way out. People tried to help her but she refused the help. I think people really tried to understand what she was going through but it is hard for someone to comprehend it fully unless they deal with the same issues themselves. I myself wish I could of done more for her but I felt like she shut me out of her life for like the last year and a half that she was alive. We lived in the same house but never talked. In fact I felt like she had hated me. I do know she didn't really hate me though. Because of her state of mind and the influence of drugs in her life she projected her own hate of herself onto other people. I don't want to taint people's images of her the only thing I am trying to get at is this is tragic and it is sad how some people end up.

Despite anything that went on and despite anything she may or may not of done people do miss you Mary. I know you are still hanging around and can now actually see how people felt about you. I hope that maybe this gives you a sense of happiness and maybe you don't feel so alone anymore. You don't have to be sad or mad anymore. You touched the hearts of many people in life and because of that you should feel a bit satisfied that you were so important to many people. By the way Mary if you see mom or grandma say hi for me.

Me and you had our differences and like I had said we didn't get along for quite a long time. I do think about it from time to time but for what it is worth I am sorry if I wasn't there for you more. I do remember all the good times though and there was a lot of them. You were the one who introduced me to Metallica. Music that would change my life forever. We had fun getting drunk together on occasion. Good times, lots of laughs. When I was a teenager and needed to spend some time away from home you always let me sleep over. The first and well the only time I ever went to a Packer game at Lambeau was with you, Jay, and Coco. Stuff like that I will never forget and I am sure I can go on and on but people get the picture.

Mary whether you believe it or not you did touch the hearts of many people and I hope you do realize this. We miss you Mary and we love you. You can be at peace and be happy because even if your time here was cut short you had an impact on all of our lifes.

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