1/18/2010

good things come to those who wait

7:15 in the morning. cant fall back asleep. what better thing to do then to write a blog. yep its been awhile...in fact almost 2 months. first blog of the new year. woot! i suppose alot has went on. some things are different but different is not necessarily a bad thing.

2009 was a really weird year. i was sick alot. i dealt with alot of depression. then i kinda broke out of it a bit. i lost 35 lbs, though i probably gained some back cause ive kinda lost the exercising thing i was doing...temporary. my grandma passed away. my sister passed away. probably the biggest thing that happened which i have not mentioned prior to this is i have someone in my life now. more on that later.

thanksgiving and xmas were descent. suddenly i dont mind holidays all too much. i think when you are in a deep depression and you hate life you pretty much dread everything. neither of the holidays were that eventful but thats not necessarily a bad thing.

well i had quit wow for 4 months and then decided to start playing again. yeah i know i suck. oh well. you know its winter time and its really hard to go out and do anything anyways so i figure if im going to be sitting in the house i may as well have something to do. so yeah wow is resubbed. i still enjoy the game for the most part. as long as i stay away from retarded people i am fine.

been sick a bit on and off. had flu like symptoms last month and now im sorta kinda fighting off cold like symptoms that just wont go away. my mouth has been hurting a bit lately too...nope not the side with the broken tooth, which yes is still there. its annoying but manageable i suppose. im supposed to go back to the clinic tomorrow to check on my blood pressure and get more pills...hopefully this week i can make it there no problems.

ok so like i said earlier...i met someone. ive been keeping this quiet for a long time, ok well since july lol. the situation is a bit unusual, when isnt anything i do unusual though? i know what people think or say about people meeting other people online and hooking up with them. it just doesnt work or its just not normal or etc. its a more common thing then what people really think of now a days anyways. sometimes its much easier to get to know someone through a computer rather then talking to them face to face. of course there are alot of weirdos and freaks out there who just lie about everything and whatnot. you pretty much have to use good judgement in meeting anyone online. so with that being said its story time!

back towards the end of june i started talking to this girl named reva quite a bit. we both play wow and she was in the same guild as me for quite some time. i think i first talked to her like i dunno maybe a year prior. we were in the same guild but never really talked all too much...i was too busy running the guild and letting people piss me off to pay attention to most things.

in july we started talking even more then usual and i kinda just got this feeling that maybe she was a bit interested in me. of course that scared me to death. i hadnt really been involved with anyone since i got a divorce...and that marriage was someone else i had met online a long time ago. what is it with me and meeting chicks online? jesus christ! anyways it is really kinda strange talking to someone online getting to know them but cant see their face or interact with them in person and then to start "falling for them". but i found myself starting to like her so i told her. next thing i know she is talking about the possibilty of coming to see me. my inital reaction was like um wow omg um i dunno this is kinda scary but i went along with it. she then had planned on coming here during xmas to see me.

months went by. we continued talking. we got closer...well as close as two people can sitting behind a computer screen. lol. i did my best to keep quiet about all of this. i guess i was worried about me jumping the gun and telling all kinds of people and then it turn into something that would be a disaster or not work out. as i got to know her though i pretty much figured that this could be something that would work out. her personality reminded me alot of myself and we pretty much share the same interests in just about everything. nick in a female body? possibly. she was really nervous and scared about coming to see me. me i wasnt so much...until the day finally came.

one thing i forgot to mention is she doesnt even live in the states. she lives in canada. roughly 1200 miles away. not a totally practical situation by any means of course.

she was supposed to be here on sun dec 27th. my nerves were a total wreck that day...and the day seemed to drag on forever. of course it got even worse when her flight from toronto to here got cancelled. a part of me thought well maybe she isnt going to be coming here after all. i get a call the next night saying ok im right outside in a taxi. so nerves went into being totally scared now.

im going to skip ahead and not go into every detail cause i could be here for awhile. she was here for 2 weeks. ill put it this way she didnt really want to go back home nor did i want her to leave. we had a great time together. she is totally awesome and definetly one of the niciest and sweetest person ive met. we pretty much are alot alike. share the same interests. laugh about the same thing. i guess what im trying to say is i definetly see this as something long term. totally complicated of course but really who cares. who cares what other people think either. the point is im happy and i found someone that im happy with. things in the end will work themselves out. she is going to be coming back here in april. april needs to get here faster cause i really miss her. pretty much the moral of the story though is something ive said before over and over: good things come to those who wait.

so 2010 has been off to a good start and i really believe this is going to be a good year. for the first time ever i really wrote a list in my head about some of my goals for this year as a reminder of things i want to get accomplished. here is my list.

  1. get a job
  2. get this stupid tooth out
  3. get back on track with exercising and losing weight
  4. try to be more of a pleasant person cause lets face it no one likes nick when he is depressed
  5. try to get a little more involved with family (i realized before this year i never give out bd cards to family members and i dunno i felt like that is just really screwed up on my part and i should really change that)
  6. work on getting my license finally. oh i know this one will scare my family but its something i need to do and want to do. i cant expect people to cart me around for the rest of my life nor do i want people to
  7. get my ged finally. i know if i get this damn thing id feel so much better about myself.
  8. write more...whether it be blogs or a book. i say this one alot and i never do it. i guess if i got my ged i could take writing classes or something. that would help me with writing a book.
  9. be myself more and not worry bout what others think. lets face it im awesome. im sarcastic and funny. im creative. i can make people smile and make people laugh. i just need to be myself more. nick being himself=the world is a better place!

so when i write my first blog of 2011 i can look back at that list and see what ive actually accomplished. i think i accomplished writing a mini novel with this blog though. go figure...dont i normally do that anyways? hopefully ill write a little bit more now. we'll see!