Wake Me up when September ends

Well hello again. I've been meaning to write, I just haven't brought myself to do it until now. The title of the blog I realize is a Green Day song. I liked the title so yep I'm using it.

September got off to a little bit of rough start. Of course it left me wanting this month to end already and it just started. I've managed to calm myself down now though. I hate being depressed. I hate how I get when I'm depressed. I pretty much hate the world and I refuse to let myself get into a long drawn out stage like that again. Life is too damn short to have that kind of attitude.

The very first day of this month I really don't know what came over me. I had I think 3 or 4 emotional breakdowns within 2 days. It was pretty bad. I hadn't been like that in a really long time. No matter what I was doing I broke out in tears. I couldn't pinpoint a direct cause of it. I think I just felt overwhelmed by a bunch of different emotions. The main one I think is loneliness. Granted I am in a relationship and I am happy. Long distance relationships though...ugh! Before I go any further I just will say that the only thing I would change about it is...the distance. Otherwise I'm fine with it.

I managed to get my father's laptop full of viruses again. I rock. Seriously. Two times in a matter of months. This one really ticked me off though. I was just browsing around on muchmusic.com and bam. So he took the laptop in and then decided to buy a new one. lol. The new one is pretty nice. So if his old one gets fixed one of the laptops will most likely go to me. Which is awesome and will help with my writing cause I can drag the laptop anywhere to write. Yay!

For Labor day I decided to make stuffed shells and invite people over. It was a spur of the moment thing. I made three pans of shells. They consisted of ground beef, chicken, and just cheese. It takes me forever to prepare and stuff all the shells, like nearly three hours. Of course in the end it is worth it. Everyone loves my shells. They were pretty good this time around. Have quite a bit left over...along with tons of poppy seed cake that my aunt Judy made. I do actually enjoy having family over for dinner like that. It is always interesting and entertaining. I should do it more often.

The weather has turned rather nice out now. We went from constant 80s-90s and humid to 60s-70s with low humidity...and we were in the 50s at night time. Friday night at one point it was 51 with a brisk wind. I was actually cold. I wrapped myself up in a blanket. It was nice and refreshing though. I sat outside for awhile earlier just taking it all in. It was really beautiful out. It was pretty cloudy but sitting outside in the fresh air was really just relaxing.

I guess the other thing that has been bugging me besides feeling a bit lonely is the fact that I rarely go through with stuff I want to do. There is so much stuff I want to do or should be doing but I never do it. It's like I need a major kick in the ass or something. I keep saying to myself ok Nick you really just need to do something to break the cycle of day in and day out useless shit that you do and just do something useful for a change. This is just something that has been eating away at me for years. How does one break a cycle that they have gotten so use to? How does a person just finally say enough is enough and get motivated to do something? I'm really not looking for someone to answer me. Pretty much if I'm ever going to come up with answers to all of my questions I know it's going to come from myself...not someone else.

My uncle has been in Milwaukee since last week Tuesday. Since he went out to Indiana we don't see him very often anymore. It is nice having him around though. It keeps my father occupied too, and gives him someone new to complain to all the time. Yay me, I get a break from it!

Thinking back to the title of the blog, it is a very true statement in my world right now. October will bring fall colors, Halloween, cooler weather, I get to go to a concert next month, and most importantly I get to see Reva again. So yes bring on October and let September end quickly.

1 comment:

  1. I firking love halloween, fav-fav<3 hurry fall! Im ready for this years halloweeeeeeeen! and it's only May :/