9/14/2010

Outside

How nice is this? Sitting outside on the bench on the porch writing. This is exactly why I wanted the laptop for. It is gorgeous out here. Bit of a breeze, not many clouds in the sky, kinda cool. It's absolutely perfect. Can't really complain all too much, or can I?

The new kitty is working out fine. We named her Loco. She is already pretty attached to me. Follows me around and tries to sleep with me at night time. She is a really sweet and playful kitty. Ozzy and her are still getting use to each other. It's a work in progress but they will get there. She went to the vet today and checked out just fine. Good deal.

Nothing really new is going on. I feel like I have so much I could possibly say though. Do I keep it to myself or do I just let it out? Combination of both possibly. Some things may be better left unsaid or some things may be better not said at all as to not dwell on things I may not have control over. If that makes any sense?

I can't say I'm entirely happy at the moment. It comes down to me pretty much beating myself up about things. I talk about snapping this same ole routine I have but yet when I plan on doing it I never can do it. Maybe I just need to wake up one day and instead of planning stuff just randomly do it and stick with it.

The whole job thing frustrates the hell out of me. Some of the positions I apply for I am more then qualified for. This is what makes me think maybe I am missing something. Maybe I am destined for something better, something greater. The only thing I can think of is the whole writing thing. It seems to be the one thing I'm really good at, or at least I think I am. Is this why I'm having such horrible luck with the job hunting? Maybe it is like this because God wants me to realize that my gift is with writing and my writing will bring me the most success. For all I know I probably have everything figured out already and I just need to find in my heart what it is I am looking for.

Overall I can't really complain much. Compared to how I felt a few years ago I'd say overall my mood, my attitude, etc has changed dramatically. Even in my blogs, sure I mention depressing stuff but people who have read my stuff from years back can tell the difference in my writing how things have changed with me. Life is only as difficult as a person makes it. Sadly I make it way more difficult then I should be. I have to say though I am thankful to wake up everyday and to be alive. Some people have it way worse then me. If I could make life simpler for not only myself but for other people I would.

Suddenly after writing this I feel somewhat a bit better then what I was. See Nick that wasn't too hard to find an answer to help you out when you aren't feeling like yourself. All you have to do is write. Who cares if it is pointless or a bunch of jumbled words or if it doesn't make sense. The important thing to remember is this is who I am and these are my thoughts and feelings. I'm neither right nor am I wrong, I'm being myself.

1 comment:

  1. NIck, your so nifty... stop hating and appreciate being so dysfunctional...it can be a good thing when your creative (which you are being btw) and use your powers for the goodness of being awesome..GAwd nickster your awesome <3!

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