Music has become a good motivational tool for me to use for writing. I'll sit here listening to music and then I'll start looking up song lyrics and it gives me ideas for writing. Now if it could just help me write a book. Yeah and maybe I'll win a million dollars? Like that will ever happen. Then again there is the saying "never say never".
I still read my old livejournal, and no I will not link it for people to read. Though alot of the entries amuse me quite a bit I feel as if my writing back then was way different. I was more bitchy, depressed, angry, etc. At the same time it felt like I wasn't holding back if I had something to say about someone. I feel like at times I may be censoring myself with my writing and not telling people what may be exactly on my mind as to not I guess offend someone or piss someone off. After thinking about it, fuck it...I'm not censoring myself anymore. If I have something to say I am going to say it.
Time passes, nothing changes. Change can either be a good thing or a bad thing. There are things about myself and about my life that I wish would change. I mean I can't really complain much though. I feel like I'm in a better place mentally then I was a few years ago. Which is good. See I did that without even getting help! I fixed myself. I rock. Just admit it already I rock and I'm awesome. Stop being in denial people. When my first book ever gets written and becomes a best seller people can look back at what I just said and think to themselves "Gee Nick really is awesome and he sure knows what he is talking about, maybe I should of listened to him sooner". So listen to what I say people cause even if it seems like I'm talking out of my ass most of the time I am a wise man and I am right about many things.
I'm not really full of myself. It's good to have confidence about something in my life. I mean if I were to face the facts for what they really are I'd have to say I'm an overweight piece of shit loser. Instead of doing that I'm just going to go on thinking that my life is not too bad and I'm pretty awesome for the most part. If you can't have confidence in what you are doing in life you really can't get very far. Confidence can and will eventually get you far in life. Try it sometime. With that being said, I'm still a work in progress and I will be for a long time.
I installed the original sims game and my expansion packs to this computer. One word for all of you. ADDICTION. I have an addictive personality. I am so glad I never got into drugs cause of it. I get addicted to things quickly and it is like I can not get enough of it. Does that apply to sex too? I'll plead the fifth on that one. Anyways, it is usually more towards like music, tv, and video games. Like when I first got nintendo back in the day. I hooked it up, only taking breaks for food, otherwise I was probably on it for 12 hours straight. Music, if I hear a song that I like that I have never heard before I will just keep repeating that same song over and over and over again. Five hours in a row of the same song? Yep, I do that quite often. Anyways, yes I am hooked on the sims again. It does get a bit boring after awhile trying to do the career thing or making people fall in love or become friends. Thats why you have to mix it up with making lesbian households or finding ways to killing off random sims. Making them drown in the swimming pool is fun. Yes I am a bit sadistic but it adds something to my personality.
The other night was a crazy night of dreams. The first dream I remember is that my friends were working at some kind of food place. We were really desperate for money so they came up with this idea that while the manager was not looking that they were going to empty the cash register and I was going to take off with the money. So it happened and I took off with the money. Went to some random hotel room that had some chicks in there. I showed them the money and I became worried that we were going to get caught. I don't remember much else about the dream though after that.
Later on I had an even crazier dream. Supposely I had pissed off this one guy cause I owned him 50 bucks or something. He was holding like 3 or 4 of us at gun point. Giving us five minutes to explain ourselves or redeem ourselves before he was going to kill us. He tied some people up to a chair and I was sitting in a chair but he didn't tie me up. He was asking random things and then proceeded to randomly shoot at people. It was quite scary. He did end up shooting towards me but the bullet just nicked off my finger. One person he did shoot in the leg. At one point one of the people went up to him and it caused him to drop his gun. I picked it up and pointed it right at his head and said something like "you're dead motherfucker". I then shot him in the head not once but twice. That wasn't enough to convince me he was dead though. I totally lost it. I filled up this kitchen sink with water. I pulled him by his hair and began smashing his face into the counter repeatly. Then for good measure I put his head under the water to drown him. I'm pretty sure he was dead before that. I guess I wanted to make sure? Needless to say, I guess it's a bad idea to really piss me off? lol.
There was really no actual point to my blog. I just felt like writing and telling people how awesome I am. Agree with me or disagree with me, I don't care...and it won't persuade me anyways. Until next time...to the probably 2 or 3 people that read my blogs...take care.