seems like its been an eternity since ive wrote anything. im sitting here bored and not wanting to do anything but i found the slightest motivation to write. yay. go me! hey its something i suppose instead of like sitting here staring at the screen with this dumbfounded look on my face.
so how is life? life is just the same as it always is. you take a step forward and then take a few steps back. pretty much after awhile you kinda just have to take things in stride and figure out what the good is amongst all the chaos. there is good in everything, its just hard to find when we are kicked down to the ground. at the end of the tunnel there is a light and we spend forever trying to get to that light. eventually you do. it doesnt necessarily mean that all is well when you get there. think of it like this. in the tunnel of life you get hit by a speeding train plenty of times and you suffer setbacks. just because you reach the end of the tunnel and get to the light means that everything is all good. you could get to the end of the tunnel and get to the light and then BAM...big ole train hits you right then and there. yeah i know im trying to get all deep on everybody.
at the end of september we got a cat. his name is ozzy. i have not had a cat since me and jen had smokey. ozzy is really cute. he can be such a pain in the ass at times but otherwise he is a very sweet cat who craves attention. my sister and her friend were up north at this guy's farm closing it down for the winter and the cat ended up hanging around them on the farm. ozzy was pretty tiny but really well behaved and they didnt want to just leave him there so they brought him back and he has a home here. he was taken to the vet and he checked out ok. he goes for another vet visit tomorrow.
the month of october just sped on by. it was really just a downer of a month for me. i dunno ive made some descent changes this year but i guess its not good enough. i feel like i should be doing more. i kinda slipped a bit into a depression so i stayed away from my computer a little more then usual. got back into console gaming a little bit. nothing like playing some grand theft auto to pick up some hookers, screw them, then gun them down. great stress reliver!
im now down to just about 30 lbs, maybe a little bit over, of loss weight. if there is one thing im proud of this would be it. i got into a good routine of exercising and eatting a little bit better. i still have my moments but considering how i use to be i am proud of myself.
my blood pressure is still high. well at the clinic it was still high. at home it seems to be normal when i take it on my father's monitor. so cause of this i still havent gotten the stupid tooth taken out. ill go back to the clinic next tuesday and hopefully from there i can finally get that taken care of.
my foot has been messed up for about a week now. so i havent been walking or exercising like i use to. kinda sucks and a bit depressing. i was doing so well but cause of my foot i have been trying to stay off it as much as i can. i have i believe a gout on my left foot. was really painful at times. a stabbing annoying pain on my left foot. could barely walk. its getting better but my foot is still eh.
finally after 4 years all my stuff is here from florida. woo hoo. its been like taking a trip on memory lane. of course it reminds me of some of the bad stuff but like ive been saying good stuff outweighs the bad and there was plenty of good things from my time in florida. watching my original ghost hunting tape when we first would go out to cemetaries was pretty amusing. then i stumble upon my old high school yearbooks. reading some of the stuff people left for me was pretty funny. it is nice to have all my stuff here finally.
andrew and kelly are getting a divorce. i feel like such a jinx. the two weddings ive been "involved" with (and i say i was involved with their wedding cause there were just 4 of us there...small thing) ended up in a divorce. one being my own wedding of course. man i have such shitty luck. anyways it was sad to hear about that. i love them both and i wish the best of luck to both of them in wherever they go from here.
been a really strange year. bumps in the roads. a little bit of self discovery too. some changes. positive life changes. ive reconnected with some people. ive found people online who i lost touch with and now at least i know they are alive. despite everything that has gone wrong or right this year i think i have some sense of direction. it may take some time to get there but it will happen. the road will get bumpy but as long as i remain strong and focus i'll get there. one thing ive learned this year is that life can be difficult and unbearable at times but if you can remain positive and hopeful you can go a long way.