9/01/2009

all nightmare long

dreams. what exactly are dreams anyways? i mean are they just some series of random events or do they have deeper meaning then what is presented. i have pondered this question time and time again. though they seem pretty random and pretty crazy at times there may be signs or things within the dream that have a deeper meaning.

years back i would have the same reoccuring tornado dream. pretty much almost the same thing would happen everytime. storm would come into town. sky gets dark. massive tornado bout to hit us. it hits and instantly its over. i was having this i believe upwards of 4 nights a week. sometimes it felt so real id wake up immediately after and have to reassure myself that it was just a dream. i pondered and questioned if there was any significant meaning to this reoccuring dream.

though i dont trust everything that is said to me nor do i trust everyone i come in contact with online, u just cant. many dishonest people out there. i did come across one guy on aol who i was talking with about ghost hunting stuff. he seemed really interested in it. he also said he was a psychic. which at first had me saying yeah ok bullshit. but then this guy who mind u i never talked to before this night and who didnt know anything bout me starts talking to me about my tornado dreams. i dont really think i talked in depth about it on my old livejournal, maybe i did i dont remember. well he pretty much described my tornado dream perfectly. i was kinda like in shock. he said you are wondering what the meaning behind the dream is and im like yeah. he said you are overlooking something when you think about the dream. he said the dream is not so much about the tornado its about other things in the dream. think about the other parts of the dream and you will come up with a meaning. im like ok. so i took some time to think about the tornado dream i been having. tornado comes through town destroys a bunch of stuff but what am i overlooking. it occured to me that in every tornado dream i had that despite the destruction everyone was safe and sound. i thought to myself what if this is like sort of a metaphor for my life. regardless of how much my life may spin out of control and go off course i am still here...alive and well. after i came to that conclusion the reoccuring tornado dream stopped.

another reoccuring dream i have is about school. its always me being back in 7th or 8th grade usually. its usually a different theme everynight though. one thing though that is a constant is a dream about me going to my locker and thinking to myself gee its been a long time i have no idea what my locker combination is. kinda funny though cause i put in some random numbers and i seem to get the locker open. i believe the combination is 24-16-6. i do go to dream websites alot and read about certain things within these dreams and alot of things make sense but i dream about this period of time like almost everynight. alot of times though im not even the correct age in the dream, im like an adult.

elaborating on the dreams have deeper meanings then we may think im going to mention a few examples. years back, like 03 to be exact, my ex wife was having a reoccuring dream about her friend stacey being dead. the dreams were so vivid it would freak her out. well after a bit of time her friendship with stacey ended really badly. what did it have to do with the dream though? it was a warning that in a sense stacey and jennifers friendship was coming to an end. the friendship wad "dead". i believe i had a similar dream about jennifer before we did get a divorce. kinda foretelling something was about to happen. ive had a few dreams i could use as an example but then this blog would be like a novel. few months back while i was in wisconsin dells i had dreams about vampires. what do vampires represent? sickness and death. after that dream i was pretty sick for quite awhile. then a bit later my grandma died and my sister committed suicide. dreams having little to no meaning at all is open to debate however.

nightmares. who doesnt have a nightmare every now and then or a reoccuring dream that you just do not like? im a victim of this myself. sometimes they just seem so damn real that you wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air or so freaked out you have to search for a light or something to comfort you. it takes you a bit to realize ok wait its not real. what causes nightmares though? death of a loved one? tramatic experiences in life? watching scary movies? or is it just totally random?

as a kid one reoccuring nightmare i had was about freddy krueger. i know...one of the more awesome killers presented in movies and he bothers the shit out of me. its said cause i like the nightmare on elm street movies but i just can not really bring myself to watch them. maybe its cause i have some an open imagination and things play with my mind from time to time so its hard for me to watch it cause i tend to freak myself out. either way i was tramatized as a kid thanks to my brother jay. he use to be like obsessed with freddy. even made a homemade freddy glove. yep he still has it. anyways i remember sleeping on the couch one night cause for some reason im a couch sleeper and i woke up in the middle of the night to find my brother and friends watching nightmare on elm street. it was the alley scene in which his arms are stretched out wide so he can stratch on both sides of the alley. anyways hours later i woke up screaming cause i was having nightmares with freddy in it. it got progressively worse over time with freddy appearing in alot of different dreams no matter what. over the years they got better. in fact in some dreams freddy would have me kill people for him. a recent one was of freddy telling me he would kill me if i didnt have sex with a certain female. he didnt really have to ask me twice. kinda disturbing though. freddy watching me get it on.

ive had alot of different reoccuring nightmares. falling off cliffs, drowning (its no wonder why im afraid of water), ghosts, demons (i wrote about a demon one i had awhile back, maybe ill have to find it and put it in this blog), being shot at, murder, etc. some of my most disturbing ones have been about family.

one was about my mother. this was reoccuring but it mainly was after her death. she would appear in my dreams like normal. nothing seemed out of place. then things changed and she would be standing there and all of a sudden she turned evil and was about to attack me or so it seemed. those dreams didnt last for all too long though. i do dream about her quite a bit and in the dreams its like we know she is dead but she is there and alive and healthy and i think to myself um like arent u supposed to be dead. thats how real they do feel from time to time. on a side note i do miss my mom and i wonder often how things would be if she was alive.

the other is about my sister mary. its not surprising though seeing as how my relationship with her over the past few years was strained. i wont realy get into detail about some aspects of the dream. its of stuff i rather not mention. hateful things...sorta similar to what went on when she was alive. some of the dreams seem so real though and like with my mom i find myself wondering hey wait arent u dead while in the dream. part of the reason for this blog was cause of a dream i had the other night about mary. it disturbed me quite a bit. she was alive though even in the dream i thought to myself hmm isnt she dead. well it was snowing out and my brother was over and they were outside helping my father with the snow. mary was all bent out of shape about stuff. so i decided to sit downstairs and eat food and read the paper. i knew me being there would annoy her. it did. she kept talking under her breath. what i remember though is her about to walk out the door and she said something bout how she was going to kill me, my father, and my sister kathy soon. it freaked me out. freaked me out so much i woke up and said to myself wtf. i know it is just a dream but that doesnt make it any easier.

so dreams. regardless if they are reoccuring or if they are nightmares or just random stupid funny crap can they really tell us things about ourselves? can they tell the future? can they point out things in our life that we fail to notice? the answers to these questions are going to remain open for discussion and personal perception.

1 comment:

  1. dreams are interesting metaphors to figure out life's most unstable and reassuring moments. Think of nightmares as your subconscious telling you something wrong analyses and asset them, look for things that are peculiar and the like, usually find the answers to questions through them.

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