a long time ago in a galaxy far far away...yeah ok enough of that. i got bored one day a long time ago and i decided to rewrite some scenes from the star wars movies and make them a bit more...perverted i guess. anyways. i posted this on my myspace blog a long time ago and i figured ah what the hell im going to add it here too. enjoy! and be warned all of this material is highly inapproriate. someday soon i will write or have an actual blog until now enjoy this one!
many scenes of the following were also cut: c3po trying to get it on with chewbacca...oh chewy you are so big and furry. (oh and for you people who played star wars galaxies and knows what gorax is...just think of it like this a wookie and an ewok mating)
the following could of been in episode 4: darth vader goes apeshit realizing that he will never have sex again nor does he even have a penis to have sex again. he walks around screaming my dick was burnt off how in the fuck can i have sex or even get a boner anymore. in his rampage he kills many stormtroopers then the emperior gets on his case and says yo what the fuck is up with you and vader says to him master i realized i dont have a penis and the emperior is like dumbass you havent had one for 17 years.
so far this one seems to be a favorite one out of people who i have read it to. enjoy this scene that should of been in empire strikes back. they edited the scene where luke meets yoda for the first time. originally yoda was giving it to some hot twilek with big boobs. she was screaming in pleasure oh yoda and he was sticking it to her saying "your master bitch i am" luke walks in and says oh so you are yoda. yoda gets pissed goes apeshit and starts jumping around smacking luke across the head screaming "about to cum i was".
or how about luke/vader fight in emperior strikes back: the luke/vader scene in empire strikes back was different. vader didnt cut off luke's hand before he told him he was his daddy. what really happened is vader and luke are fighting and vader is like luke i am your father luke is like no no its not true its impossible then he adds in at the end you dont have a penis anyways. vader feeling bad about his lack of penis already chops off luke's hand and says dont talk back to me you little fucker i made you. luke is on the ground screaming in pain and vader goes serves you right bitch.
episode 1 adjusted scene. how did anakin's mom really become pregnant? she says it just happened. well i call bullshit and so does qui-gon in this scene that should of happened: qui-gon is talkign to anakin's mommy about who was his daddy. she is like there was no father. i carried him to term and gave birth. qui-jon with a puzzled look says to her hmmm you dont want to admit how many guys you actually fucked do you? (watto could of been pimping her out the whole time?)
if you hadnt seen someone you "supposely loved" in years wouldnt you be offended if she called you a little boy? i know i would of been. in this next part this is what really should of happened when anakin and padme saw each other for the first time in 10 years: padme hadnt seen anakin in years but when she sees him she says to him you will always be that little boy that i remember from tattoine. anakin since he was always pmsing about something takes offense to that whips out dick and slaps her across the forehead saying bitch do i look like a little boy to you
ever wondered how much pussy jabba could of gotten with his big tongue? i mean hell if i was a female i would let him be all up in that shit. well in this scene leia disgusted at first by jabba then sees how big is tongue is and yeah i guess you can say instant wetness. anyways enjoy: when jabba licked leia and she got grossed out she actually got turned on instead and said to jabba i know where i want you to put that tongue big boy. he said to her but had c3po translate it back to her "your ass?" and disgusted she said well forget it you are really gay after all.