spring is here. rejoice! no more winter! no more snow! no more cold! oh wait, i live in wisconsin. it can be 80 here one day and 40 the next. yep that is the joy of living here. unfortunetly for me since spring started, well even before that things havent been exactly all too fun. so with that being said i feel the need to say and im sure i will say this again later. screw wisconsin...i want to be somewhere else!
lets travel back to february. for a change i was thinking to myself wow february is usually a shitty month for me but this month hasnt been too bad. then all of a sudden what happens? i break a tooth. what did i break it on? of all things a god damn tater tot. wow seriously nick...breaking a tooth on a tater tot? man i must be talented. oh this period of time just sucked. my tooth was so sharp that everytime i did anything like swallowing or eatting it would scrape across my tongue. sometimes making it bleed. so i didnt eat much for awhile. of course my other reaction was ah fuck i have to go to a dentist now. i dont deal with dentist well. if i talked too much i had problems with my speech. it was overall bad. i did go to the dentist and he chiseled it down for me but the tooth has to be pulled. oh yay! oral surgery. but when i do go which i know i need to go soon im getting put under. give me some major drugs for that shit please.
during the week that my mouth was fucked up i had a bit of a revelation. my revelation? i needed to get out of the house alot more. even if it is just stupid shit i just needed to go out. so i started going with my father to random places like shopping and whatnot. we then went to the cemetary one day and i said to myself maybe its time i start seeing my grandma more. she has been in a nursing home for quite awhile but due to the fact that i dont like nursing homes after seeing my mom in one before i didnt want to bring myself to go. i figured she isnt going to be around all too much longer so maybe i should go see her. i havent been exactly the best grandson in the world. then again my grandma has said some not so great things bout me in the past. the past is in the past right? well i can at least try to tell myself that.
so i start visiting my grandma with my father. she is so funny with some of the things she does. i really would just go there and spend most of the time laughing cause of her and my father getting into it. she did seem happy to see me coming there to visit her. its hard to talk to the woman since she cant hear but i think just me being there was good enough for her. its a small nursing home. i believe like 34 old people live there. nurses and whatnot seem pretty nice and friendly the old people and how they act and do stuff is always a bit well odd or funny. i suppose when you are that old and trapped somewhere you have to find stuff to amuse yourself. even if it is just like sitting in a hallway turning on and off light switches for like 5 mins...which was pretty funny to see. they kept telling him to stop but he kept doing it anyways. later as my father said something to him he said back to my father "im trapped inside this fucking place i need to amuse myself somehow".
during this time i was starting to drift away from playing WoW. been playing MMOs for 5 years. the drama, the bullshit, and the people associated with these games were just starting to get to be too much. i was coleading a guild but i felt at times people were too dependent on me or i was just taking on way much more then i should. so finally i decided to myself ok it probably be hard to quit completely so ill at least take a month break. i announce my intentions and people start freaking out. "the guild is gonna die without you". "you are the guild". "things wont be the same without you here". its not the end of the world people. lol. though i must admit it is flattering to feel like you are wanted for something and people kinda look up to you. so yeah my break lasted like um 4 days. lol. some shit happened and the guild decided to leave and start their own guild...on the condition id be the gm. god damn them! so i came back to WoW and we started a guild called PWMB. if you are curious to what it stands for well it stands for Power Wash My Balls. people have come up with various different names. one of the better ones was Play With My Boobs. so yeah WoW and people on there sucked me back in.
the sickness(es): ive been through alot of shit in my life. ive had 2 operations, ive broken a leg, ive had stitches, been biten by a dog (lol), colds, sore throats, stomach problems, migraine problems, carpal tunnel issues, artithis in the knees, etc. since march i dont recall really ever having a period of time where i have felt like shit for so long. yeah i dont always feel the greatest. i wake up alot and just go ugh now what but this period of time was different. it started back at the beginning of march. tuesday march 10th to be exact. i was at the nursing home and my grandma was not feeling very well. she was apparently throwing up and whatnot. i started to feel a bit sickish myself. like nausea and shit. it kinda went away though. the next morning i wake up and i had a horrible migraine. i was supposed to go to the eye doctor that day. despite having the migraine problems i decided to go to the eye doctor anyways. well while we are doing the exams and shit he says that he is going to test me for glaucoma because my eye pressure is off the charts and that worries him. of course im like ah shit thats all i really need. turns out i was fine but still enough to rattle me just a bit. well i looked it up and it showed pressure in the eyes can be high if you have migraines. so im like ok that makes sense then. the rest of the day i felt really tired and exhausted and just totally out of it.
the next morning i woke up and i could sense something was not right. yep sure enough...i was sick. i had really bad stomach cramping and stomach pains throughout the day along with what i considered to be at the time the worse nausea i ever experienced. i felt absolutely horrible. i kept a "vomit bucket" by me most of the day. i did kinda throw up once. anyone who really knows me knows i dont throw up very easily and if i do that means im really sick. anyways most of the day i spent on the couch trying to rest. the next day i did start to feel better. turns out there was something going around the nursing home and i ended up catching it. damn old people. they had the nursing home on lockdown for a bit. none of the patients were permitted out of their rooms and vistors had to go directly to the person they were visiting. so much for me wanting to visit the nursing home.
i went on and off feeling nausea when id wake up or sick to my stomach for a few weeks. we went to the zoo on the following tuesday after i had gotten sick and i felt like i was gonna throw up in the car ride there. i never did of course. during the course of the next week or so i was having on and off nausea. nothing too "major". me and my father went to wisconsin dells for a few days which was nice. on the way back home i felt a cough coming on and i just didnt feel right. probably didnt help much that it was descent outside and then we get to holy hill and it was so cold and windy and i didnt have a proper jacket on. i guess i wasnt too concerned bout it. i probably should of.
the next day i was totally sick. i was having hot and cold flashes. i felt disorientated. running a fever. aches and pains. nausea. severe stomach cramping, nasty cough. the cough eventually turned into one of the worse sore throats i ever have had. it really felt like something was stuck in my throat blocking my air passages. it was hard to breathe. i was taking as much medicine as i can. the nausea subsided a bit but the cough and the sore throat was there. i then felt fine again by that saturday. so i dont confuse people we got home from the dells on the 25th. the 26th of march was when this all went bad. the saturday im refering to was the 28th. that sunday things went from getting better to worse again. coughing and nausea. with hot and cold flashes. feverish. aches and pains. etc. trouble breathing. i was so disorientated at one point i missed a stair walking downstairs and i flew head first into the wall. thankfully i know if im falling to put my arms and hands in the way to try to save myself. i hit my head pretty hard. thankfully all i had was a bruise and a little bit of a sore arm. the next day all i did all day was sneeze and have a runny nose.
throughout april i went through off and on nausea and my chest hurting everynow and then or it would feel like something was blocking my air passages making it a bit difficult for me to breathe or i felt like gasping for air. alot of those symptoms such as the problems breathing occured with very little pain at all. i really didnt understand it at all and it was really getting frustrating. id be fine for a few days and then right back to having all these problems.
then last week i was starting to get the chest pains and that again but i noticed something different this time. it wasnt like a normal chest pain. it was actual heartburn that was kinda going from my chest up towards my throat. after thinking bout it for awhile and reading some stuff i kinda convinced myself that more then likely i have or have started to develop acid reflux disease. does it ease my mind bout everything ive went through? yes and no. yes cause i think i can pinpoint it to a certain thing and no cause acid reflux isnt exactly good. lol. i started using cough drops quite a bit a few weeks back. it helped alot with any nausea i have. pains ive been feeling and whatnot have subsided a little bit. i get that heartburn every once in awhile. it went on for nearly 4 days straight but then subsided a bit.
on top of all this stuff my mouth cause i have a messed up tooth bothers me quite a bit. yes i know i need to get the tooth out. i cant really afford it atm so i have to live with it for now. id rather deal with a messed up tooth and occasion migraines then everything else ive went through.
im going to have to end this blog here. i do have so much more to say but ive already wrote a novel.